Spiritual journeys do not follow a logical pattern. Often times such journeys follow the path of a spiral. Movement forward follows movement backwards before another advancing motion can be made. Here we trace the spiritual discoveries made by Xena & Gabrielle in India.

Background on Xena and Gabrielle These two women - friends, soul mates and lovers - come from humble beginnings. Both were raised in small Greek villages. Gabrielle's childhood had been free of great trauma. Still, she never felt she belonged. She believed she was destined for a life outside of Poteidaia. When she met the blue-eyed woman warrior, Xena, Gabrielle took it upon herself to leave her home in search of a life as a warrior.

Xena's early childhood held the disappointment of a father who she believed abandoned his household. Only in adulthood did she learn that her mother, Cyrene, killed her father in defense of Xena's. The loss of a father was but one mark on her spirit. The greater loss was the death of her brother, Lyceus - a death she held herself responsible for, even after she was given the opportunity to live a life of different choices.

Xena's soul has been revealed in fragments. Each fragment is a piece of an extraordinary puzzle which one would think would explain her actions were one able to see the image in its totality. I do not hold that expectation. It is misguided to believe that the truth rests in the past. If the subject is Xena's soul, then it can only be comprehended by considering the clues of the past in the context of her shared history with Gabrielle. Dwelling on the past produces only small insights into Gabrielle's life. Minor stories of time spent with her sister are used as a tool to establish Gabrielle's relationship with Lila. A story of a pony that died clarified Gabrielle's understanding that sometimes what you love dies. Gabrielle's character construction is much more immediate. It resides in four seasons of storytelling - incongruent as they may be.

There are certain aspects of the Xenaverse left open to interpretation. The most controversial is whether Xena and Gabrielle share a romantic/physical relationship. The series has established that they are soul mates, and it can be argued that nothing more need be said. For those who have known the richness, the depth of insight and extended scope of vision a loving, sexual relationship can afford, the issue of the nature of Xena and Gabrielle's relationship cannot be set aside as immaterial. In the context of the spiritual, sexual expression can be a very rich act between two human beings.

There have been times when many have wondered why the two women have remained companions in life given the events that have taken place. Xena's mercilessness has fearfully risen to the surface on more than one occasion. Gabrielle lied to Xena about the fate of infant Hope. Xena tried to kill Gabrielle. They see the world at times through very different eyes and judge others accordingly. Gabrielle is always looking for the good be it Aidan or Najara. Xena's trust is never easily earned. Xena's downfall lies in unmanaged vengeance. Julius Caesar has been the catalyst for more than one error of Xena's judgment.

Following the emotional ordeals with their day to day lives, the loss of a son and daughter and finding one another again after the distress of Dahok, Gabrielle has been looking for a path in her life. Wondering how her soul was damaged by the past year and trying to find answers on how to heal it.

Gabrielle: "It's over ... or is it? Xena, do you ever get the feeling that sometimes nothing is ever really over? You know, it just keeps coming back around, but it's wearing a different face. It's the same underneath. Do you know what I mean?" Xena: "Sure, I was trapped in a cycle of violence and hatred. No matter how hard I tried to break free something always pulled me back ... until you." Gabrielle: "Xena ..." Xena: "No, it's true. You talk about finding your Way, but to me you are my Way." Gabrielle: "How can I be your Way when I'm lost, myself?" Xena: "I'm searching for answers too. But, how we look for them doesn't matter as long as we look for them together ... you and me."

Xena, burdened with the vision of their deaths given to her by the evil Alti, is wrought with guilt because of the chance that her life with Gabrielle may end up killing her dearest friend. However, Gabrielle knows that she cannot fully live her life if she is not with Xena and so will always continue their path together.

Gabrielle: "Are you sure I was dying? Xena, the gods know that I have been tied to a cross before. You helped me then, what makes you think that this ‘vision' is different?" Xena: "It was so real ... the way you looked ... the mountain in the background ... it's true, or it could be." Gabrielle: "Well, I'm not going to believe it."

Gabrielle: "The threat of a battle does not mean I'm going to end up like your ‘vision.' Xena, you're expecting Medusa behind every tree. You can't look left, you can't look right."

Gabrielle: "This conversation's over, right?" Xena: " ... " Gabrielle: "Deal?" Xena: "Gods forbid I ever bring that subject up again."

After a run-in with local bandits, Xena and Gabrielle are sheltering from a storm in a cave. They are engaging in their usual banter whilst Gabrielle is stitching a wound on Xena's leg. Gabrielle suggests that Xena enjoyed beating up the thugs and that maybe she enjoyed it a little too much. This leads to Xena questioning her motives and how much of her dark side remains. Gabrielle then talks about her search for a spiritual answer and that perhaps people should be looking within themselves to find it.

Xena suddenly sees her vision of Gabrielle on the cross. Gabrielle reassures her and tells her to forget it. However, suddenly they hear a noise. Gabrielle goes to investigate but doesn't return.

A worried Xena goes deeper into the cave to look for her. She stumbles upon a deep hole in the ground and calls frantically for Gabrielle but gets no reply. Finally, she throws her torch into the hole and jumps in.

We see a beautiful, peaceful garden with birds singing, a tortoise and a rabbit. Gabrielle is lying on the ground. She wakes and Xena stirs beside her. Gabrielle asks what happened and Xena reminds her about the hole. Both look around in wonder. Gabrielle is smelling the flowers, wondering out loud where they are. She recalls the land of Illusia and wonders if they are dead. Xena, ever alert, draws her sword and a man appears in the bushes. Xena questions the nervous man who tells her that the garden and all the surroundings belong to Aiden and that they should talk to him. He directs them to Aiden's house and then makes a hasty exit.

Xena and Gabrielle move towards the house. They enter a courtyard paved with coloured flagstones and lined with blue statues of people in unusual poses. As they gaze at the statues curiously, Aiden appears saying that the statues represent inner peace, something anyone can achieve. Gabrielle looks very interested in this.

Aiden introduces himself and welcomes them both. Xena questions him about her wound and Aiden explains about mind-shifting matter and the use of breathing and meditation techniques. He offers to teach them but Xena declines. However, Aiden is very persuasive and manages to talk them into staying for food and a rest. Gabrielle mentions a warm bath and hits Xena playfully, indicating that she wants to stay for a while. Xena reluctantly agrees.

Gabrielle: "Gods, this is bliss." Xena: "How long do you think we've been in here? I'm pruning." Gabrielle: "Would you relax. Aiden's right, you need to learn to just slow down. You know, I'm surprised at you, Xena." Xena: "Why?" Gabrielle: "For someone who has seen what Lao Ma and Alti can do, it's strange you're not curious about Aiden." Xena: "I've seen enough to know that most people can't handle spiritual powers, and Aiden is no Lao Ma."

Gabrielle is lying on the floor and Aiden is teaching her breathing techniques. They talk about this but, suddenly, Gabrielle looks troubled and stands up. Aiden tells her that the work they are doing could lead to disturbing thoughts but Gabrielle says she is willing to try.

Back in the garden, Xena is practicising Tai Chi whilst Gabrielle meditates. Gabrielle is seen in all sorts of different yoga positions. Xena continues working alone in the garden. Gabrielle tells Aiden that she feels as if new life has been poured into her. Then, she has a thought about Hope and she loses her concentration. Aiden calls it a day, telling her she needs to face her pain and release it. He also tells her that she must heal herself before she can heal the world. He explains that thoughts can be made real and, to demonstrate, he opens his palm where a flower suddenly appears. Gabrielle gasps and asks if she can teach others. He tells her 'yes'.

Xena is still practicising her moves in the garden. However, her movements become more and more aggressive. She kicks one of the statues then leaps into the air. When she lands, her hair is all messed up and she has a wild look in her eyes. Xena lets out a horrendous, tortured cry and looks around madly.

Aiden continues his work with Gabrielle. Xena walks into the room, looking in need of comfort. She watches Gabrielle with Aiden. Gabrielle hears her own voice, justifying to Xena why she lied about Hope. She collapses to the floor, sobbing. Xena looks on with tears in her eyes. Gabrielle apologises to Aiden and he comforts her, telling her she must face her past. Xena looks as if she wants to go to Gabrielle but hesitates. Aiden looks up and sees Xena, who turns and leaves the room.

It is night-time. Gabrielle is lying on a round bed which has the yin-yang symbol on it. Xena is doing sit-ups. Xena is anxious to move on but Gabrielle wants to stay longer. Xena is jealous, believing that Gabrielle likes Aiden, but Gabrielle explains that she now realises she has been carrying the guilt around about her failure as a mother.

Xena tells her she had no choice but Gabrielle says this did not make it any easier. Xena realises she is 'losing' Gabrielle who is convinced this path is right for her. Xena reluctantly agrees to stay one more day. In PARADISE FOUND, Gabrielle embraces a second spiritual teacher, Aidan. Where Najara was a woman of the sword, Aidan is a man of introspection. He offers techniques for self-discovery and clarity. Gabrielle revisits the guilt associated with Hope. She, in achieving some sense of healing, wishes to minister to others. She wants to teach Xena what she has learned. There is an underlying selflessness in her quest, although it is still a quest that is touched by a harsh assessment of her companion.

Gabrielle has fallen asleep on the bed whilst Xena is sat upright with her eyes closed, meditating. Suddenly, the wound on her leg reappears and then disappears again. Xena looks up and seems angry.

At sunrise, Gabrielle is meditating again. Aiden talks about her 'pure essence' and tells her that the longer she stays here, the more she will be in tune with her 'core self' until she becomes a radiant light. She asks him what happens if there is a darker side to the 'core self'. He replies that the same thing happens but in reverse. Instead of becoming stiller and lighter, the person becomes jumpy and the darkness shows inside. The person's appearance changes and they experience delusions and other disturbing symptoms. Aiden realises Gabrielle is worried about Xena and tells her that Xena can beat her dark side, like he did, with Gabrielle's help.

Xena is in the tub. Gabrielle warns her about what Aiden has said. She tells Xena she would like to teach her what she has learnt. Gabrielle puts her hand on Xena's shoulder and Xena takes hold of it. Then, Xena starts to squeeze her hand harder and harder until Gabrielle cries out in pain.

Suddenly, Xena is sat in the tub with Gabrielle's hand on her shoulder and Gabrielle asks Xena again if she wants her to teach her what she knows. Xena looks worried about the hallucination but says nothing. Gabrielle gives up and leaves.

Xena storms up to Aiden and puts her fingers on his neck, as if to put the 'pinch' on him. She demands to know what's going on. Aiden tells her that a person's real self is revealed in this place and it may be light or dark. Xena asks him what she can do. As she does so, she has a vision of herself slapping Gabrielle and she becomes even more agitated. He tells her that only death can stop the visions and that eventually she will start to act them out. Aiden advises her to leave before she hurts Gabrielle.

Back in their quarters, Xena is sat writing a note to Gabrielle. Blood starts to drip from her nose onto the scroll and, as she looks at it, Gabrielle enters. Xena quickly hides the scroll and goes to Gabrielle who is complaining about her back. Xena offers to fix it so Gabrielle lies down and Xena massages her back. The blood starts to drip again and Xena sees her vision of Gabrielle on the cross.

She talks to Gabrielle about their journeys together and what she has learnt from Gabrielle. She continues to massage Gabrielle as she does so. More blood falls and she again sees the vision, but this time she manages to catch the blood before it falls on Gabrielle. This continues and she starts to get agitated as she rubs Gabrielle's back and legs. She sees herself standing over Gabrielle with a hammer in her hands, ready to nail her legs to the cross. Some blood lands on Gabrielle's foot and Xena hastily wipes it away. Gabrielle has fallen asleep and Xena tells her goodbye.

Xena is haunted by her darkness. She is uncertain about her true motives for fighting because Gabrielle posed the question. She struggles with the vivid destiny of death posed by the vision. Gabrielle has repeated her mistake of trusting someone who promises spiritual knowledge, and Xena has mirrored Gabrielle's errors. She is prepared to leave Gabrielle with Najara CRUSADER and, now she is prepared to leave Gabrielle to Aidan. Xena's motivation is compounded by the fear fed by Aidan that she will hurt Gabrielle.

Xena is walking through the garden. She throws down a rag with blood on it. Then, she spots a medallion hanging from one of the statues. She calls out for Garr. He runs away and Xena chases him. Garr trips and panics, running straight into Xena's leg. Xena asks Garr about the statues, realising that they were once real people. Garr tells her that it was Aiden's doing and that he leached the goodness from them with his talk of stillness and peace. He tells her that these were his men and that he tried to warn them but they wouldn't listen. Xena heads towards the house but Garr stops her. He says Aiden will use her goodness against her. Xena replies that she has no choice but to let it go so she can help Gabrielle but Garr is afraid that she will kill everyone in the process. Xena whispers something to him and then sends him away.

Aiden is working with Gabrielle, telling her to sink deeper and deeper into the stillness.

Aiden's voice is hypnotic as he stands behind Gabrielle. Xena arrives and demands that he let Gabrielle go. Aiden tells her she is too late and that Gabrielle will soon be drained completely. Xena throws her chakram at Aiden but he stops it in front of his face and blood drips from it onto the ground. Xena screams and attacks but Aiden tosses her around like a rag doll. Xena gets up and rushes him but he throws her again and stands up. He walks over to her in order to leach the goodness left in her but Xena grabs his wrist and throws him. She rolls towards Gabrielle and screams her name but gets no response. Aiden rises and again, Xena rushes at him but is thrown into a wall and collapses to the floor. Gabrielle is turning blue on her shoulders and neck. Xena rises once more and moves towards Aiden who throws her to the ground. This time, however, he seems to be weakening.

Xena picks up her sword and runs at Aiden but is thrown again. In the meantime, even more of Gabrielle is now blue. Aiden hits out at Xena again but there is little effect this time. Xena taunts him but he launches himself through the air, landing on Gabrielle's feet. He takes her energy to replenish that which he has lost then launches a mental attack at Xena who clutches at her head and seems to be having a fit. Aiden glides to the ground, picks up Xena's sword and moves towards her but she kicks him away. Xena collects her sword and goes after Aiden. However, she sees Gabrielle whose face and arms are now turning blue. She raises her sword as if to attack but Garr stops her. Xena then drops her sword and lifts Garr above her head. Meanwhile, Aiden rises.

Xena flicks her foot so that her sword is standing upright, with the blade pointing upwards. Garr is crying out in fear and this seems to bring Gabrielle round. She sees what Xena is doing and screams at her to stop. Xena kicks her sword, which flies towards Aiden and buries itself into his stomach. He cries out and falls to the ground.

Xena drops Garr and goes to Gabrielle, taking her hand. They turn to see Aiden crumble into a skeleton. As this happens, the statues also start to crumble and the world of Aiden begins to disintegrate. Back in the cave: Xena's chakram, sword and some clothes are being slung across the cave. Gabrielle sits up and realises she is naked. Xena gets to her feet unsteadily as her wound has returned whilst Garr appears, asking what happened. Gabrielle hides behind Xena whilst Xena tells him he is free. She is regretful that they couldn't save his men but Garr tells her that they were pacified by Aiden years ago. He realises that he was mad whilst Xena explains that this was what kept him alive. Aiden was unable to use Garr because he could not still his mind. Xena says that his demons saved him and that's what she used to get Gabrielle's attention. Xena explains that she knew Gabrielle would not let her kill an innocent person.

Gabrielle: I learned something about myself and you. I sometimes talk about your darkness like its some sort of disease. But without it, neither one of us would be here. It's kind of ironic.

At the end, Xena bases their salvation from Aidan's treachery in her faith that Gabrielle would never let her hurt an innocent. Xena continues to hold fast to her faith in Gabrielle's inherent goodness.