~Mom's Brownies~ 1. Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375. 2. Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan. 3. Remove teddy bear from oven and tell toddler "No, no." 4. Add margarine to 2 cups sugar. 5. Take shortening can away from toddler and clean cupboards. 6. Measure 1/3 cup cocoa. 7. Take shortening can away from toddler again and bathe cat. 8. Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail. 9. Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour. 10. Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation. 11. Take telephone away from toddler and assure party on the line the call was a mistake. 12. Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill. 13. Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well. 14. Let cat out of refrigerator. 15. Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan. 16. Bake 25 minutes. 17. Rescue cat and take razor away from toddler.  18. Explain to toddler that you have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn. 19. Throw cat outside while there's still time and he's still able to run away. ~Frosting~ 1. Mix the following in saucepan: 2. 1 cup sugar 3. 1 oz unsweetened chocolate 4. 1/4 cup margarine 5. Take the darn teddy bear out of the broiler and throw it away ~ far, far away. 6. Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn't know your toddler had slipped out of the house and was heading for the street. 7. Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes. 8. Answer door and apologize to neighbor for toddler having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot. 9. Promise to pay for ruined carpet. 10. Put toddler in playpen. 11. Remove burned brownies from oven.  ~Author unknown~ Comments? To return to Beth's Pages... Background set by... ~Page designed by Beth~ ~I just want you to know who I am~