lindltr

This letter was emailed to me from a young girl who lost her beloved brother to drugs. It broke my heart and I cried as I read it. PLEASE if you are using or ever think about trying drugs and you have siblings, listen to the anguish in this beautiful young girls heart. No 16 year old should have to suffer this much pain.

Betty,

Hello my name is Lindsey Mayes and I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed you web site. I have been crying now for about 15 minutes straight because of it! My brother Josh just recently died from heroin and crack. His heart had exploded. I know that you [probably get a lot of e-mails every day, and mine might just be another story but you actually seemed like you cared. (a lot of people honestly don't) I'm only 16 years old and I have already gotten into drugs and out! I didn't get that far, but even just starting is going too far. I try so hard every single day to tell people about not using drugs. I have saved a couple people from them so far which is more then a lot of people can say.

My brother and I were very close. We were best friends and it got taken away from us by drugs. If only I could explain just how much I hate drugs and other substances. For a while I had to be locked up in a "mental " house. That is how bad that I wanted to be with him, I almost killed my self. The last time that I saw my big brother, we were crying to each other. He had told me that the night before he had almost killed himself but he couldn't because he thought of me. And I said well what if something had happened to me? And he said then I would kill myself because there would be no reason for me to live. Then.....he slipped the ring (that I always tried stealing from him because I wanted it so bad) on my finger while we were both crying. He told me that he didn't want to be sick any more and that he hated drugs. Then he went to a center, left that and went to live with some guy (that did heroin) and I didn't see him for two weeks and the time I finally go tot see him he was in a casket. I couldn't believe it! My best friend, hero, and brother all in one,........was gone from me. No more "special nights" that were made for just him and I. Nobody to help decide what guys to go for and who not to go for.....etc. It was all just gone just like that! POOF!

Your daughter was and still is very beautiful I want to add. She has a face of an angel. My mom always tells me that she just knows that Josh is my guardian angel. And I believe that Lisa is yours. I have no doubt in my mind that she is yours. I just wish that people would learn from all of these deaths caused by drugs. I also wish that it didn't take such an extreme measure to do that. I myself (from experience) do not believe that they teach about this subject well at all in school. Especially in High School. That is where almost all of the people that I know that do drugs started at in that point of their life. They started either because they were just curious (like I was) or they felt pressured. I have been clean from weed for about a year now. I get asked to do it almost every day a couple times a day, and every time I say" NO "with pride that I can say that now. My best friends tell me all the time that I have will Power that they didn't notice before. And that they are proud of me. And that is something that I absolutely love to hear. Especially from people that I love with all my heart. I am going to try with everything I have to keep people away from drugs so that they don't have to feel any sort of pain like the kind I feel now and always will. A lot of people tell me how sorry they are and I appreciate it, but most of them turn right around and do what got Josh that way. If they were even half as sorry as they say, they would at least think twice before doing that.

I hope that you're understanding everything that I'm trying to say, if not ask me. I would love to receive an e-mail from you . If you have time. Please. I just can not explain the pain that I felt and still do feel. It just about eats me alive when I think of how if he never did start such a stupid thing like drugs, he would still be the wonderful brother and friend and everything else he was to me and everyone else. A lot of people probably feel the same. But there is a difference between them and me. (and people like yourself) that actually don't just sit and watch it happen over and over again. We are trying so very hard to save them now. I just wanted to commend you on that and one day I hope that someone will commended me . You are a very special person who I can tell, cares. we need a lot more people like you in this world. Thank you!!
With lots of love and care,
Lindsey

This message board is for Lindsey if you would like to post a message to this brave young girl. We need to let her know that people do care. I think that it is the young people like Lindsey, having the courage to tell their peers NO DON'T DO IT, that can change the tide of drug use.

click on enter the forum for Lindsey's message board

Please visit Memories of My Brother Carl . This is also by a sibling who lost her brother. She has described very eloquently how hard it is to deal with your grief when no one around you will talk about it. A lot of us get lost in our own grief and don't realize how hard it is on the siblings. These 2 young ladies will touch your heart.