* Two wrongs don't make a right, but
three rights make a left.
* Do you have trouble making up your
mind? Well, yes or no?
* Home is where the television is.
* Before borrowing money from a friend,
decide which you need more.
* Death is hereditary.
* Many things can be preserved in
alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
* When you're right, no one remembers.
When you're wrong, no one forgets.
* Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
* Always remember that you are
absolutely unique. Just like everyone else..
* Well done is better than well said.
* Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is
to make them when nobody is looking.
* They say hard work never hurt
anybody, but why take the chance.
* I like work. It fascinates me. I can
sit and look at it for hours.
* If you can't see the bright side of
life, polish the dull side.
* Pessimist: A person that looks both
ways when crossing a one way street.
* The light at the end of the tunnel is
the headlamp of an approaching train.
* Where there's a will there are five
hundred relatives.
* Everybody wants to go to heaven, but
nobody wants to die.
* Everyone should have a spouse,
because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can't blame on the
government.
* The evening news is where they begin
with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
* There are three sides to every
argument: your side, my side and the right side.
* An expert is someone who takes a
subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
>> Word When
you rearrange the letters
>> ----------------------------------------------------------------
>> Dormitory Dirty
Room
>> Desperation A
Rope Ends It
>> The Morse code here come Dots
>> Slot Machines Cash
Lost in 'em
>> Animosity Is
No Amity
>> Mother-in-law Woman
Hitler
>> Snooze Alarms
Alas! No More Z's
>> Alec Guinness Genuine Class
>> Semolina Is
No Meal
>> The Public Art Galleries Large
Picture Halls, I Bet
>> A Decimal Point I'm
a Dot in Place
>> The Earthquakes That Queer Shake
>> Eleven plus two Twelve
plus one
>> Contradiction Accord
not in it
>> Astronomer Moon
Starer
>> Princess Diana End
Is A Car Spin
>>
>> AND HERE IS THE MOST INTRIGUING PART:
>> Year Two Thousand A
Year To Shut Down
Facts
Money isn't made out of paper, it's
made out of cotton.
A shark can detect one part of blood in
100 million parts of water.
The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottle
represents the number of varieties of pickle the company once had.
A rat can last longer without water
than a camel.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer
of mucus every two weeks,
Otherwise it will digest itself.
You can drop a rat 50 feet, and it will
land without a scratch.
The dot over the letter 'i' is called a
tittle.
A person cannot taste food unless it is
mixed with saliva. For example, if a strong-tasting substance like salt is
placed on a dry tongue, the taste buds will not be able to taste it. As soon as a drop of saliva is added and the
salt is dissolved, however, a definite taste sensation results. This is true
for all foods.
A male emperor moth can smell a female
emperor moth up to 7 miles away.
Some insects can live up to a year
without their heads.
A giraffe can clean its ears with its
21-inch tongue!
The 'Screwdriver' was invented by
oilmen, who used the tool to stir the
drink.
A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows
why.
40% of McDonald's profits come from the
sale of Happy Meals.
Every person has a unique tongue print.
Every night, wasps bite into the stem
of a plant, lock their mandibles
(jaws)into position, stretch out at
right angles to the stem, and, with
legs dangling, fall asleep.
315 entries in Webster's 1996
Dictionary were misspelled.
During the chariot scene in 'Ben Hur' a
small red car can be seen in the distance.
Einstein couldn't speak fluently when
he was nine. His parents thought he might be retarded.
On average, 12 newborns will be given
to the wrong parents daily.
When he was young and poor, Pablo
Picasso kept warm by burning his own paintings.
Chocolate kills dogs! True, chocolate
effects a dogs heart and nervous
System, a few ounces is enough to kill
a small sized dog.
Playing cards were issued to British
pilots in WWII. If captured, they
Could be soaked in water and unfolded
to reveal a map for escape.
Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by
torpedoing up into the shark's
Stomach from underneath, causing the
shark to explode.
Due to precipitation, for a few weeks,
K2 is taller than Mt. Everest.
The number of possible ways of playing
the first four moves per side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.
Upper and lower case letters are named
'upper' and 'lower', because in the time when all original print had to be set
in individual letters, the
'upper case' letters were stored in the
case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.
There are no clocks in Las Vegas
gambling casinos.
There are no words in the dictionary
that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver.
There are four cars and eleven light
posts on the back of a ten-dollar
bill.
Bruce Lee was so fast that they
actually had to SLOW a film down so you could see his moves. That's the
opposite of the norm.
The first CD pressed in the US was
Bruce Springsteen's 'Born in the USA.'
The original name for the butterfly was
'flutterby'!
By raising your legs slowly and laying
on your back, you can't sink in
quicksand.
Celery has negative calories! It takes
more calories to eat a piece of
celery than the celery has in it to
begin with.
In Gulliver's Travels, Jonathan Swift
described the two moons of Mars,
Phobos and Deimos, giving their exact
size and speeds of rotation. He did this more than 100 years before either moon
was discovered.
Chewing gum while peeling onions will
keep you from crying!
An elephant can smell water three miles
away.
Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under is
cap to keep him cool! He changed it every 2 innings!
Back in medieval times, no one trusted
each other. Everyone as a
Potential enemy. When two people
approached one another, they would stick out their hands to each other to
show the stranger they were not
carrying a weapon. Both strangers were put at ease knowing that they were not
about to be killed. This action of outstretched hands grew and evolved to the
modern gesture we know as the handshake.
You are smarter than you think you
are. You already knew some of those,
and would have figured out others if you had an occassion to ponder them.
>CLEVER
SIGNS
>On a diner's billboard: - - -Eat
here or we'll both starve.
>In a non-smoking area:- - -If we
see you smoking, we will assume you
are on fire and take appropriate action.
>On a front door:- - -Everyone on
the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.
>At an optometrist's office:- - -If
you don't see what you're looking for,
you've
come to the right place.
>At a car dealership:- - - The best
way to get back on your feet-miss a
car
payment.
>Outside a muffler shop:- - No
appointment necessary. We'll hear you
coming.
>On a desk in a reception room: - -
We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd
one just left.
>In a veterinarian's waiting room: -
- -Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
>At the electric company: - -We
would be de-lighted if you would pay your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.
>On the door of a computer store: -
- Out for a quick byte.
>In a restaurant window: - - Don't
stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed
up.
>In the front yard of a funeral
home: - - - Drive carefully, we'll wait.