I am writing with a sort of difficult question. I am currently in college and I really would like to go to Israel during my winter break this January. Since some of my friends are going and I've never been there, I feel it is the perfect opportunity. The thing is that my parents are very strongly opposed to it. They feel that it is very dangerous now and they're afraid of my being there. I tried to convince them but every single time I try we get into a fight. I don't know what to do because it's almost January and I have to start making plans. Any suggestions?
-A wanna be tourist
Sounds to me like you have a tough situation on your hands. On one hand, you want to be with your friends this winter break and what better way than to travel, especially to a place you've never been to but heard so much about? On the other hand, you want to respect your parents and you don't want them sleeping with the radio on all night either.
I'm not sure which approaches you've tried with them but I can recommend a few. Perhaps you can have them speak to some of the parents of the other girls going. If they hear it from a parent's point of view it may sound different to them than hearing it from their own daughter. Also, saying to them "But Marina's parents let" doesn't have the same effect as Marina's mom who can relate to your mom actually telling her WHY she lets. This will also give your parents adult ears listening to their concerns and being able to relate.
Another approach I would recommend is writing a list of all the reasons you want to go but at the same time on the other side writing down your parents' concerns and giving them this list to read alone, without you there. This will accomplish a few things. Firstly, when you write things as opposed to say them in a heated discussion they're more likely to be accepting of them. Plus when you're not there they won't feel the need to refute every argument you have. They can just calmly read the list and absorb it. Aside from writing down how you love those Israeli soldiers, it would be a good idea to include some "responsible" reasons like gaining some independence skills and learning a new language. Writing down their concerns on this same page will show them that you are acknowledging what they feel as well.
One more idea I have is giving them an exact plan of how you plan to stay safe (not taking buses, traveling on secured tours only, etc…) and promise to stick to it. This may help them feel more at ease.
Finally, if all else fails, pack your bags in middle of the night and sneak out to the airport. Just make sure to let them know you landed safely and hope they don't change the locks and seal your room off while you're gone. Just kidding about that part. But if all else does fail make sure your friends take lots of pics and find something so cool to do that they'll wish they stayed behind! Good luck to you and a safe trip to you wherever you end up going!
Abby the alumna
