My dilemma is about my major. I chose a major under pressure because it was already my second year in college and I had to choose one quickly. I also felt pressured by my parents and friends. I am now very close to graduation and I absolutely hate what I majored in! I feel that I made a HUGE mistake and that I never want to work in this field. What do I do????
Confused and Careerless
Dear confused and careerless,
You are in a tough spot but it's not as bad as you think! Firstly, everyone makes mistakes so don't beat yourself up over it.
Now, let's be practical. You have several options. You can graduate and try out the field you majored in. Often, real life experience is very very different than what you learned in school. Who knows? Maybe once you try out the field, you'll love it. Otherwise, as a college grad with a BA in your name you are a very desirable candidate for many positions, not necessarily in this dreaded field. Of course, you can always change your major and be in school for another few years, but I doubt you want that.
Finally, my last suggestion is, stick it out and go to graduate school eventually. Many people only really focus on their career choice in graduate school.
Whatever you choose to do, be real to yourself and don't look at other people. In other words, do what is right for YOU! Good luck and if you can't find a job soon, you can be my assistant in writing this column.
Abby the Alumna
Dear Abby the Alumna,
My question is kind of personal so please make sure it remains anonymous. I have been dating a guy for a few years now, and mostly we have been very happy. A few months ago I met a really nice Jewish guy at my work. Even though he is not Russian and is several years older than me, we have a lot in common. We have become close friends and I started telling him the problems I am having with my boyfriend. He has been convincing me lately to break up with my boyfriend. Little does he know though that I have my eye on him and he is what's really motivating me. My question is, should I break up with my boyfriend who I was sure I love? What if this guy won't even go for me and I'll be left all alone? Help!!! I'm so confused.
Potential heartbreaker
Dear potential heartbreaker,
Wow! I believe you need to do some serious thinking. It sounds like your relationship with your boyfriend is being seriously challenged. This new guy is a definite challenge, but he can also be a hidden message. You need to think objectively about your current relationship without thinking about this new guy. Think about whether this is someone you see yourself with long term, whether he has marriage potential, and whether your feelings for him are real. It is not a pick-and-choose game between these two guys. In the long run, it is better to be alone than to be with the wrong person. It is important to remember that every relationship will have its problems. What counts is how significant they are and how two people deal with them together. In the end, make sure you're being honest to yourself, not just choosing something "shining and new".
Abby the Alumna
