Sun, Aug 13, 2000
1:25 pm PDT
mood:
yum: lasagne
song: Can't fight the moonlight by LeAnn Rimes and
words: "That's so hella ghetto you lose money!"
movie list:
- Bless the Child
- Autumn in New York
- Bounce
- Titan A.E.
the list:
- 1015
- sound factory
- Pier 39
- Union Square
- Golden Gate bridge
- Go to noraebang
look:
Photo shoot after finale
Grant, Kekoa, Tanya, and me.
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I'm at Rose's work place right now so I have all this time on the computer and I don't know what to do. Actually, I know EXACTLY what I want to do. I already emailed Grant...twice, emailed tanya, mass emailed the summer fun crew, emailed my sister (she's mad i took her clock radio and is attempting blackmail but it isn't working), printed up recipes, and fixed up my resume. yep, this has been one of the more productive times online. =)
I'm also trying to figure out how to redeem my online points. I need money (dammit) and I currently have a large amount of points via Mypoints.com and etour.com. I'm thinking Eddie Bauer, MCI prepaid cards, Sprint prepaid cards, Target, Sports Authority, JCPenney, or Macy's. I really have a lot for Mypoints so I could get $75 at any of the above save jcrew (the bastards). I just need to think wisely. I know I need a jacket, but I also need clothes. Then I don't want to rack up the huge phone bills. Aish. I just need money. Anyone want to donate to the "help maria survive her first month or so in SF alone fund?" hahha. email me. =)
I feel as though I'm slowly regressing again. My extroverted actions during the summer are no more and I'm becoming quite antisocial again. Well, not so much antisocial but just unsure, untrusting, hesitant, and plain old SHY. I hate being shy. If I could I would just go drinking to help me on my way, but I'm trying to stop drinking. Yep, Grant is a really good thing to happen to me so I want to stop. Its just hard to be myself when I don't have people I know very well around me. dammit. Hopefully I'll get more settled in though.
Last night I stayed over at Rose's apt. She lives in Belmont, way too far from Berkeley to make it a habitual thing. While we were driving into the city last night we passed the airport and for the first time I felt extremely sad and wanted more than anything to fly back home. I miss Hawaii and all the people, especially Grant. I didn't really think about it the past week since I was still getting adjusted but I really do miss it all. And now I just want to go home. But I can't...not until July 1st, when my lease ends. I told myself I'd do this and dammit! I will!
Since Rose is going to the Dre concert tonight, she won't have time to drop me back home all the way in Berkeley so she's going to drop me off at the BART station in Colma. I haven't taken the BART since new year's so it should be fun. I don't have any qualms about taking the BART at all, its just the fucking COLMA station that I can't stand. Colma is this really morbid town full of graveyards and headstone makers and I totally hate it but that's not why I hate it. I never posted what happened to me there when I visited Rose 2 years ago since I didn't update very much back then so I guess I'll go through it now...
So I visited Rose 2.5 years ago and she didn't have a car then so when I wanted to visit another friend in Berkeley I had to ride the bus to Colma (it took like an hour or 2) then i had to take the bart. It took like 3 fucking hours to get to Berkeley from Belmont that way I just stayed overnight. So when I came back the next day I was waiting at the bus stop in Colma waiting for this ONE bus that took forever to come. While I was waiting, this middle aged white trash guy comes around with his mangy dog and his dog comes up to me and starts smelling me and kinda climbing on me. The guy stays for a bit, talks to me a little, then leaves. Then like maybe 15 minutes later the guy
comes back, but without his dog, and he starts talking to me and asking all these personal questions like if i have a bf or whatever. I totally lied and stuff just so he would shut up but he didn't. Then out of the blue he asks me if I'll sleep with him for 20 bucks. I was starting to get all freaked out and he started talking about how he has a trailer (see, white trash!) around the corner and it cost $4000 and then he started talking about how he can go for like an hour while younger guys can
only go for like 30 minutes and something about 7 and a half inches and I was just getting so freaked out you know? Then he started showing me his id and was talking about how his name is spelled and FINALLY the freaking bus came and I ran so fast. I started crying on the bus and everything. So that's why I hate that stupid town. Its so creepy and morbid enough because of the graveyards (i hear the dead outnumber the living 3 to 1 in that town) but i hate it even more because of my experience. But I can laugh about it now. Rose's friend Mack said, after I told him what happened that day, "only 20 bucks? man, you're worth more than that!" haha and yeah, I AM!. haahahaha.
Okay, all this typing and reiterating my life here so far one 3 different occasions is tiring. I still have my written journal to write in (i finally got one. YAY!). Take care everyone. Have a great week!
Love,
mars
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