Sun, Dec 3, 2000
9:56 pm PST
mood:
yum: Meatloaf
song: GaEul DongHwa OST
words: "I love Christmas!"
movie list:
Bounce 11/24- The Legend of Bagger Vance
Remember the Titans 10/7- Pay It Forward
Meet the Parents 11/11Unbreakable 11/25Little Nicky 11/17- Men of Honor
- What Women Want
- The Family Man
Titan A.E. 11/25
the list:
1015 8/25- Sound Factory
- Pier 39
Union Square 12/3- Golden Gate bridge
- Noraebang
- Golden Gate Park
Punahele Grill 9/22- Sausalito
- Roy's
- Pac Bell Park
- Kirala
Koko House 9/1Avaron 10/27Gilroy 9/23- Go to San Jose (why? i have no idea)
Krispy Kreme 10/7&11/17
look:
^_^
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I was so happy. It was as if I was screaming to be shot down. I don't know why I do this to myself
sometimes. Back when I broke up with Boyet it was partially because I had never broken up with anyone and
I wanted to know what it felt like. That wasn't the only reason of course, but still...
Maybe I just have a need for pain. Maybe I'm masochistic in that sense, but really, I love being happy.
Maybe I'm just not used to being so happy and content with nothing wrong in my life.
Is it so wrong to be so honest with the person you love? I want to be so honest with him that its
dangerous. I hurt him and uprooted some of his trust in me on Friday. It was torture waiting for him to call
me that night. He called right as I was falling into deep rem sleep. I ended up not sleeping until 3 after
a waterfall of tears. At one point he even told me I was "the one." I can't explain it but everything about
him seems so right that I don't want anything to ever go wrong. I hope nothing does. We're okay now. We
are trying to put this past us, and now, deep down inside, I know things will be okay.
He is always in my thoughts. I love it. I love everything about him. I love how his voice sounds, I love
how he smells, I love how his adam's apple sticks out just little bit more than some peoples'. I love kissing
him. He says he's never wanted to kiss anyone else as much as he does with me. Isn't that so cute?
I'll spare you the sappy mushiness now. Anyway, after sleeping only 3.5 hours and waking up with severely
swollen eyes I went to take my CBEST. Aish...so ghetto. So insultingly easy. I still can't believe the guy
next to me was cheating with a dictionary. Its not like any of the words were that hard. sheesh. I sorta
started losing hope and faith in the whole educational standards of our country but Grant gave me his whole
speil about why he's becoming a teacher and so now my hopes and goals have been rejuvenated. So yeah..that's
that. All I have to do now is finish my essay and app. funfun. Deadline: Dec. 15.
Shopping in Union Square today was so fun with Tammy and Won. We took a picture in front of the xmas tree there.
I love Christmas and Christmas shopping! Well, the whole thinking process and finding stuff for people is
the torturous part, but I love the whole Christmas season and feeling. Ahh. Its so nice. =) And its always
so nice to constantly think of the one you love while doing all of this. It would be even better if he was
there with me while I shopped and thought of him, but you know, good things come to those who wait. I'm willing
to wait for him even if it hurts a little.
Gosh, does this mean that I could actually be in love? *gasp* I better go to sleep so I can think and
dream about him some more. ahh..such a nice thought.
<3 always,
mah-rheee-yah
p.s. Sorry its so sappy. This is what lack of sleep does to me. Its already 1:17 am! eek
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