mood:
playlist: here.
Get ftp access by emailing me yum: starburts
song: Most Beautiful Girl by Nu Flavor
words: "If you don't put it away I'm gonna slap you." -my mom (so mean yah?)
movie list:
Ok, I'm sorry my recent updates have majorly sucked. I now understand why people who work full time and also maintain
active social lives go on hiatus for long periods. This journiary was the last thing on my mind the last week or so. So yeah...sorry.
I'll try to make it up to you today. =)
There's only 3 more days until the finale. Its quite scary, but exciting at the same time. I can't wait to see how all the
kids perform and how it all turns out. It really is a sight to see. If anyone has time, come by...its on wednesday at 7pm at
Salt Lake District Park. And if not go to see the cute kids and the funny plot of the program go to see me make a total ass out
of myself trying to dance. At least I know I won't be the only one doing so...too bad they stuck me in the middle though. argh. ;P
Yesterday was spent all day at the park trying to get all the finishing touches done for finale. We put wood to support the various props,
painted more signs, painted the paper for the sides of the gym, and did a whole lot of other crap.
Grant spent a lot of the day making the master tape with all
the talking and songs. I felt so bad at the end of the night when we discovered the tape had made the songs a little slower
than the originals so Grant would have to figure it all out and redo the whole thing. That was at 11pm last night...we had spent
12 hours at the park! It was him, me and Kekoa who were
there till that late. Russell had dropped by earlier
with Glenda, this girl he's sorta seeing. It was so cute. But yeah..I totally felt bad for Grant because of that tape thing.
He even swore cuz he was so upset!! (he never swears ;P) and then when we left he was speeding too, and I've never seen him speed
before. Poor poor Grant.
I've seriously been having second thoughts about leaving lately. Its partially because of summerfun and also because of
Grant. I dunno. He and all my coworkers have made Hawaii seem like the best place to live and its making me not want to leave
anymore. My view of SF is changing to that of a BIG city that is impersonal and cold and not a pleasant place to live, even though
I know that I really do like the city and all it has to offer. I'm just confused. Now I'm thinking that if things don't work out
I'll just come back after a year. But then what? I dunno. I think I'll apply to the college of ed at UH for next year just in
case.
So most of the time I'm having second thoughts, but then I come home and get bitched at by my mom and it totally reinforces my
persistence to get away. I can't take her nagging anymore. Today she even threatened to slap me if I didn't put something away that
I had left out for a bit. She hasn't hit me in a while, but just the fact that she thinks she can get away with pathetic threats
like that pisses me off. If I wanted I could totally hit back and defend myself. Maybe even beat the crap out of her...not that I would, but still. It just totally
irritates the hell out of me and strengthens my resolve to leave this hell hole.
Yes, I have a lot of things to resolve with myself apparently, so perhaps its a good thing I'm going away even if its just
for a bit.
On the way home from the KSA officer meeting that no one told me would be cancelled or whatnot, I was thinking about how
race factors into the way I go about the opposite sex. Since I'm merely HALF asian I tend to think that others see me as
white and nothing else. Well, I really don't think I look asian in the least no matter how much I wish I did so that's why I
assume others see me that way too. Then think about how you almost never see white women with asian guys. I would always
think that asian guys never went for white girls cuz they didn't like them or something. So where did that leave me, this "white"
chick who digs asian guys? I used to assume that my lack of success with the guys I liked back in the day was due to that.
Today I was thinking how I saw this white lady with this Japanese guy and their 2 kids after the movie on Friday. Then I
thought about how Martin is going out with Jennifer (both are in ksa) and Jennifer is only half Korean too. There are
random white girls that I see with asian guys every now and then. So I dunno...I guess I still have a chance.
I know, it sounds completely ludicrous but that's just how my mind works sometimes. Of course, I have gone out with asian guys before
so I dunno why I'm worrying about it. Its just something that crosses my mind every now and then. What
do you think?
Well, I best be going now. I gotta do laundry and clean my room more. I'm packing little by little but I still have a
whole shit load of crap in my room that I know I won't take with me. What do I do?! I just know my mom will throw stuff
away once I'm gone..gah!
Ok, have a nice week...hopefully you'll hear from me again before its over ^_~ Baibai
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