Wed, June 21, 2000
8:26 pm HST
mood:
playlist: here.
Get ftp access by emailing me
yum: rice
song: Shipge by Cool
movie list:
the list:
Hike Diamond head 6/11- Hike Manoa Falls trail
- Hawaiian Waters Park
Venus 5/24- Pipeline
Oceans 5/18- Eat at Sorabol
- Tantalus
- Waimea Bay / Matsumoto's Shave Ice
- Go to the Swap Meet
Eat Jja Jang Myun 5/5- Meet up with MC
- Mai Tai bar
- Go out with Davee
- Go to noraebang
- Hanauma Bay
- Sam Choy's Breakfast Lunch & Crab
look:
cheese.
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I watched Survivor for the first time tonight. I feel so bad for the Pagong group but I guess things just happen. I can
also see why it can beat Millionaire. And that's all I'm going to say about that.
I should be studying for my MSAT that's on Saturday, or at least looking over the prep material, but I don't really feel
like it. Is that a bad thing? Tomorrow we're going to mini golf and Friday we're going to play pool at Hawaiian Brian's so
who knows if I'll ever get to looking over it. I probably will, but I figger, if I know it I know it and if I don't, there's
nothing to prevent it. ya know? I just hope I see that cute guy at Hawn Brians on Friday. I hope I hope! *crossing fingers*
I just came back from mailing my rent check. *sigh* I'm so poor. =( I don't like this feeling of leaving my life to
chance. I got an email from Winnie the other day and she made me feel a
little better when I was down, but she also said that I should make sure that I plan...and I know I should, but as of right now
my "plan" is just to basically go and see what happens. That's not a very good plan if you ask me. I'm just afraid to sit
down and lay it all out. But you know, I think things will be okay. I was thinking about it, and even though I have absolutely
no money right now, I will still have about 2000 tied up in my summer job checks (which are unfortunately a month behind). So
see, I'll still be getting paid around September and hopefully by then I'll have a job. You think? At least I have a place
to live and friends to help me adjust, which are the important aspects I know I'll need.
I caught the ending of Oprah today. It was saying something about how no one is stuck in the situation they are in. Our
lives are built by choices, one choice after another, and it only takes courage to make the choices to change the situations.
I just got to thinking how this little move of mine isn't quite such a little choice and in fact took a lot of courage. Just think,
a year ago I was planning to merely stay at UH and finish up my 5th year in Secondary Ed, which would've been just peachy aside
for the fact that I would've been stuck in Hawaii for my whole life. I mean, if all else fails in Cali, I can always return to
UH and do that, but if I didn't at least try living so far from home I would probably regret it for the rest of my life,
especially since I'm so free and unattached now. For sure it will be harder later on in life so better I do it now. Yes, I
think so.
*sigh* Worries worries. I can't help it. My nails are so short these days. I definitely haven't had quite so stressful /
anxious a summer in years. Oh the joy. But I will survive...I hope. *gulp*
On the drive home from the post office (I love mailing my mail at the airport P.O. Its just so much easier ^_^) I was
thinking how I have this bad habit of clinging on to things even though I may have outgrown them or the things just have no
use for me anymore. I'm a packrat for one and you can find so much junk in my closet, under my bed, in my drawers. But one
could also apply this fact to relationships. I think I get clingy at times and sometimes I just never know when to let go,
you know? And then sometimes I just never move on until I find another thing to take the place of that first thing. And you
probably have no idea what the hell I'm talking about so I think I'll just move on.
I also started thinking how much people change over time. I definitely know I'm different from a few months ago, albeit a
slight difference, but different nonetheless. But I was just noticing how much more grown up I feel these days. I have this
tendency to just act young and immature while trying to follow adult rules. However, as of late I feel as though I should
start acting my age, especially being a college grad and all. Its a scary thought isn't it? But I hope its a good thing. I was
also thinking how I think my facial features, and look overall for that matter, have matured over the last year or so. I don't
look so ugly as I thought I did in hs. Then again, maybe its just a maturity of self-esteem. And now I'm babbling and
making even less sense. So, suffice to say, I have been in deep thought ever since my drive. I think my over abundance of
hyper techno music has subsided for the time being. Time for slow sappy American music. Oh joy.
Okay well, I'm just gonna hit the sack now and its only 9:30. This morning I had some funky dream that I have forgotten and
it made me wake up at 6 thinking that I HAD to wake up for work. I saw it was 6, went back to sleep and then woke up at 7:10 and
late. Funfun. I always get to work with baggy eyes. Not a good thing. And tomorrow is homeroom ALL fucking day. woooo.
Have a wonderful Thursday!!
<3 always,
mar d dar
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