mood:
playlist: here.
Get ftp access by emailing me yum: shrimp and green beans in sweet chili sauce
song: Be With You by Enrique Iglasias
movie: Tarzan
movie list:
this is what the thoughts in my mind look like. (image from some guy named Sean Robertson and
3DShop.com)
boohar =(
Don't you hate it when you're just so preoccupied thinking about things? That one sentence alone describes my day to a tee.
But rather than talking about what I've been playing over and over again in my head I'll just talk about past events that
have set me in such a funk. Believe me, its better this way.
Back when I received my first kiss from this nasty guy named Thomas I kept thinking about it in school the next day. Then
later that school year I started seeing Leon (I would much rather consider that my first kiss, but alas, I can't). After he said
he "wanted to focus on school for the next 2 years" rather than start something with me I was preoccupied with thoughts about him
for the rest of the semester. I almost failed calc 3 thanks to that lovely episode. Actually, it was basically only in Calc
that I ever dwelled on it and couldn't stop thinking about what had happened between us.
I remember the first time I slept with Boyet my mind was filled with clutter the next day. Did I love him that much? Was
I right in doing it? All these stupid questions that you just ask yourself after the fact.
Then the day I was going to break up with Boyet I just kept playing it over and over in my head just so I could get through
it fast and painlessly. How the hell was I to know that he would break down crying and would start stalking me?
You know how when you just have something weighing on your mind that its all your mind, heart, and soul can stand to think about
at the time? My spirit normally gets rather weak and nervous through the whole process and even though it doesn't quite hurt in
the literal sense, I just don't like that feeling.
I think the last time I felt this way was the day Paul and I broke up. I don't remember if I was like this the day after...or
actually I was ("anti-climactic"),
but I remember that day, while waiting to see my math proffessor for help for the upcoming test,
I just couldn't stop thinking how things were probably headed down the break up path and how he'd probably feel better without me.
I had been depressed for quite a while before that and had ultra-super stress from encountering a week chock full of midterms
and papers. I decided, while sitting in that hallway, that I wouldn't fight it anymore and would let him go if he so choosed...and
he did.
Now the images and thoughts running through my head have no actual bearing on my life and have nothing to do with life altering
decisions or events, but they are there weighing on me nonetheless.
Don't you hate that?
Well, I should go back to finishing my resume (yes still) and sorting through all my junk. I closed one of my bank accounts
today. SIX more weeks exactly. *sigh* Ok, well I will leave you with the lyrics to Enrique Iglasias' song "Be With You"
because its sorta how I'm feeling (not really..but i really like this song and the melody and tone of the song pretty much
match my mood). Tomorrow is fieldtrip day to the beach. YAY! Have a good one folks! baiiii!!
Monday night and I feel so low
I count the hours but they go so slow
I know the sound of your voice
Can save my soul
City lights, streets of gold
Look out my window to the world below
Moves so fast and it feels so cold
And I'm all alone
Don't let me die
I'm losing my mind
Baby just give me a sign
And now that you're gone
I just wanna be with you
And I can't go on
I wanna be with you
Wanna be with you
I can't sleep and I'm up all night
Through these tears I try to smile
I know the touch of your hand
Can save my life
Don't let me down
Come to me now
I got to be with you some how
And now that you're gone
I just wanna be with you
And I can't go on
I wanna be with you
Wanna be with you
And now that you're gone
Who am I without you now
I can't go on
I just wanna be with you
And now that you're gone
I just wanna be with you
And I can't go on
I wanna be with you
Wanna be with you
