Mon, Nov 20, 2000
9:03 pm PST
mood:
yum: Pizza and carrot sticks
song: [see my post]
words: "boohar"
movie list: (I'm beginning to think I'm never going to see any of these)
- Bounce
- The Legend of Bagger Vance
Remember the Titans 10/7- Pay It Forward
Meet the Parents 11/11- Unbreakable
Little Nicky 11/17- Men of Honor
- What Women Want
- The Family Man
- Titan A.E.-Its coming out on video on 11/10! YAY!!
the list:
1015 8/25- Sound Factory
- Pier 39
Union Square 8/22- Golden Gate bridge
- Noraebang
- Golden Gate Park
Punahele Grill 9/22- Sausalito
- Roy's
- Pac Bell Park
- Kirala
Koko House 9/1Avaron 10/27Gilroy 9/23- Go to San Jose (why? i have no idea)
Krispy Kreme 10/7&11/17
look:
*sigh*
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I'm feeling a bit melancholy. I'm not really sad per se, its just that there are a lot of not so happy
thoughts going in and out of my head. Happy thoughts are in there too, so its just a matter of weeding out the
bad ones I shouldn't think about. heh
Last night was a bad night. I thought it started off so well too. Me and Tammy ate kim, bap, mandoo,
and kimchee for dinner. That meal is undoubtably our best comfort food. We both agree that its surprising that
something so simple could make us so happy. We quickly ate up the kim (korean nori..seawead) before Anna
got home because once she eats that stuff (its the really good kine!) she'll never go back to that other
crap that she eats. She absolutely adores kim and takuan...and she always manages to eat it all. erg.
I also got to talk to Grant last night on the phone before dinner. It was a nice talk. Sometimes I'm
surprised that we can talk for so long about so much. Definitely a good sign.
After dinner and after Anna came home I was in my room just bouncing around the web killing time. I was
kinda bored but I managed to amuse myself. T & A's friend had come over and they were watching the Simpsons.
I went to get ice cream and in the process I put some stuff in the dishwasher again. It was then that I
found one of my blue chopsticks in there with a broken tip...a full inch violently bent askew. I asked
Tammy if she had put it in there, because i specifically remember putting it on the counter with the other
chopsticks to be handwashed. Nope..it was Anna. The bitch probably didn't even realize she had broken it. I
just bit my tongue since there was company. I was sooooo mad. She just never takes care of other peoples'
shit you know? And its not even the fucking chopstick. That's just the tip of the iceburg. Everything
she does these days is just fucking annoying. Like...how does one manage to get an ucky brown film half way
up the bathtub sides?
I locked myself in my room and tried to calm down, but these days it doesn't work. I just kept palying
my technoy songs...high energy songs like Ayumi Hamasaki's immature, nsync's nothings gonna change my love for
you, koyotae's passion, and HOT's Iyah. Oh yes...Iyah was exactly how I was feeling. heh Maybe it wasn't
the best music choice to calm down, but I couldn't get to sleep anyway so I might as well let out my tension
that way.
Then Grant came online and found out I was pissed. I told him not to call since I didn't want him to.
Then later we somehow got to the topic of drinking. Not good. I told him I didn't want to deal with that
topic at the moment because I was already pissed. He tried to put it aside but failed miserably. So then
I ended up getting depressed and sad and feeling really bad for all this stupid shit. You see, Grant doesn't
drink. Besides the fact that he's Mormon, he just doesn't like the stuff and he doesn't understand why people
do it. He also hates it when people change when they drink...like when they act stupid. So yes, how does
one explain why one drinks? *shrug* I also made the mistake a while back of saying something to the effect of
wanting to stop and that with him I wouldn't need to drink. Yep...I'm eating my words now. I just like
having fun with friends sometimes. sheesh! I ended up spilling some shit about insecurities and such and
I just ended up bawling most of the last hour we were talking
So yeah, I was pissed for one hour, then annoyed/depressed/guilty for the next hour. I told Grant I was
so emotionally and mentally drained that I had to go to sleep. It was 1 am for crying out loud! So I
disconnected and went to bitch to tammy, who always manages to understand my pain (and if not she just punches
me.hehe). I cried, I laughed, I shivered. It was cold! Tammy's bed is so soft and warm. *jealous*
I got up, brushed my teeth, washed my face, then dragged myself to bed at 1:40. 1 minute later...phone
rings, Anna comes out of her room and tells me its for me. Damn. Grant. He had things to say to me and
couldn't go to sleep until he let it out. So I lay there and listened...cried...and then we resolved things...kinda.
I didn't get to sleep until 2am. ugh. 4 hours of sleep is half of what I require. Not good.
Today was a really busy day at work. It will continue to be busy well into January since its our biggest
month. erg. Oh wells. So now...I'm sorta feeling calm, collected, and resolved...but I'm also a bit
sullen. I hate it when these things happen in my life. But that's how it goes sometimes I guess.
So to accompany my mood, I've also been playing some songs...heh. And Dave wonders how I can just list
one each time. Well, here's more for ya Dave. ;P
- Nandito Ako by Lea Salonga
- Stay the Night by IMX
- Stay Another Day by Intrigue
- I Will Remember You by Sara McLaughlin
- Visions of a Sunset by Shawn Stockman
- Savage Garden by I Knew I Loved You
- Swear it Again by Westlife
- Spanish Guitar by Toni Braxton
- Twinkle Twinkle by Simplicity
- Heaven by NuFlavor
- I Will Be Waiting by D-Cru
- Please Forgive Me by Bryan Adams
- Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman by Bryan Adams
- Always by Atlantic Starr
- I Believe by Blessed Union of Souls
- Invisible Man by 98 Degrees
- Rainbow Connection by Kermit the Frog
<3 always,
mar
p.s. Thanks Lester for making the brownies...yeah..you scored a lot of "Brownie Points" for that one.
wah wah wah. wocka wocka.
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