My Favorite Mistake

By Larilyn

Disclaimer: I asked for Angel for Christmas and all I got was a stupid T-shirt.

Summary: Ficlet. Angel POV. Faith and Angel. ‘Nuff said.

Rated R

Answer to a Dark Magick challenge. You can read it at the end of the story. Or you can scroll down and read it now. You’ll ruin the story, but hey, if that’s what you wanna do…

My Favorite Mistake

People make mistakes. I’ve made more than my fair share. Most were mistakes I made Before.

Before is that crazy time in my life (for lack of a better term) when I was soulless and fancy free. The good old days, except, looking back, they weren’t so good.

So, for the sake of my sanity, I try to limit my memories to the After. The definition of After is the point where I met a certain demon and he kicked my ass into shape.

There’s a empty space between Before and After, but its not important, not right now.

Those mistakes I spoke of? I can think of three big ones.

One involves a night of passion with a certain blonde Slayer. In retrospect, it wasn’t such a good idea.

The second? Letting my former compatriots chow down on a group of humans. Granted, they were evil humans. Lawyers, no less. Still, I have some remorse.

The third is sitting next to me. She’s watching the night fly by with the window rolled down as we speed away from Sunnydale.

She’s my favorite mistake.

*** Faith dropped her bag on the floor. She breezed through the lobby of the Hyperion taking every thing in.

"Shit, Angel, this place is…"

"The bomb?" I supplied. "Phat?"

"I was gonna say nice, but yeah, its the bomb." A smile blossomed across her features, "Where you been learning slang, Big Guy?

"I’ve been picking it up, here and there." I shrugged. Then I deadpanned, "I’m a cool guy."

"Yeah…" The noise flowed from her mouth, but it was not really a response. Her attention had turned to the group of people exiting the small office behind the massive lobby desk.

Faith’s chin raised a notch in greeting. "Cordelia. Wesley."

Wesley’s voice blew out across his clenched teeth. "Faith."

Cordelia’s tone was scarcely kinder, "How have you been?"

"Well, you know, prison ain’t exactly a kick. But I survived." She looked the other girl up and down. "Who’s the string bean?"

Fred giggled in response and extended her hand in greeting. "Hi. I’m Fred. I’ve heard a lot about you."

"And yer still shaking my hand?"

Fred continued without hesitation, "And this is Charles."

Gunn lifted his chin in salute, "Sup?"

Faith did an identical gesture.

Lorne babbled a hello and called Faith a peach pit. She took it as a compliment. "Nice place y’all got here."

Then the room dove into uncomfortable silence.

***

It was easier than I thought, bringing Faith into the fold.

Fred has room for an army in her heart.

Gunn found a kindred spirit.

Lorne heard her humming Sweet Child ‘O Mine once and declared that ‘Faith’s soul was searching for acceptance’, or something like that.

Cordy and Wes were harder to convince, but it happened.

It was almost idyllic, our little family. As idyllic as a demon-killing family can be.

Then, one day, it all fell apart.

I said it before; We all make mistakes.

Mine came late one night.

***

"Where the fuck did he go?" Faith shouted. "Angel?"

We barreled through the skeleton of the uncompleted high rise, looking for the rogue demon. Faith was dangerously dangling from the beams that would eventually become the seventeenth floor.

From the second floor, I yelled back, "I lost him too."

"Fuck!"

I chuckled at Faith’s enthusiasm. It was contagious. I was enjoying this hunt. I enjoyed every second in her presence. She had brought something indefinable into my life. Sometimes I even felt alive again when I was with her.

"Do you see him?" She yelled, drawing my mind back into the hunt.

I had no time to answer.

The demon was on the ground. He plowed his shoulder into the structure and with the strength only a demon would possess, he toppled the uncompleted building.

I searched for twenty minutes through the debris. The entire time, my unbeating heart lie in my throat. I couldn’t find her. Every second, more and more panic coursed through me. It was a nightmare that was about to get much worse.

***

People weren’t supposed to be alive after an injury like that. But Faith didn’t meet your standard definition of people. She was a Slayer. Strong. Even with an I beam protruding from her abdomen she was able to croak out, "Angel."

"Faith. You’re gonna be ok. Hold on."

Her scream split the night sky as I lifted her off the metal that had impaled her. I cradled her in my arms, promising all the while that she would be fine. I was lying. I knew that even Slayer strength could not save her. All it could do was prolong the inevitable.

"Angel…I’m dying."

"No…you’ll be fine."

"I don’t want to die, Angel."

With unnatural swiftness, she produced a knife and cut a crimson line into her neck.

"I don’t want to die. Angel. Please."

"I can’t. Faith. Don’t."

The knife came up and sliced a gash into my chest. Her lips nuzzled the wound.

I meant to protest. I even tried to say no. My lips formed the word, but no sound emerged.

The feel of her suckling the blood from my body was too much. The demon in me burst forth, sealing Faith’s fate.

Her blood was spicier than Buffy’s and it burned going down. I had to have more.

It was the most erotic thing I’d ever experienced, the give and take. The life and death.

Faith’s blood flowing into me.

My blood trickling down her throat, staining her lips as she nursed the wound on my chest.

If there was a God, I’d have screamed his name.

Then I would have begged him for forgiveness.

Bless me Father, for I have sinned.

Its been three hundred years since my last confession.

***

I carried her lifeless body through the lobby. My hurried entrance drew the attention of my friends.

Cordelia asked, dogging me as I hurried up the stairs, "What happened?"

"No time to explain." I was halfway to my room before I remembered, "I need shackles. Strong enough to hold me."

Fred went to carry out my orders but Wes and Cordelia, the two people that had known and worked with me the longest, followed me to my room. Sometimes supernatural senses are overrated. Mortal ones seem to work just fine.

I gently deposited the limp Slayer onto my bed. She sank into the coverlet.

Even through the bruises and gashes that marked Faith’s body, Wesley noticed the fang marks on her neck. His watchful eyes caught the red blood that still trickled from the knife wound on my chest. Dried blood stained the Slayer’s mouth. In a whisper, he accused, "Angel, what have you done?"

"What I had to."

Cordelia had taken in the scene as quickly as the Watcher. "Angel, she’s a…"

"I know what she is!" I interrupted harshly. "Call Willow."

My seer offered a final protest, "Angel…"

"Just get her here!"

***

Faith wriggled against the bed. "Angel," she rasped, "C’mon… you know you want to."

I sat in my chair, not looking at the vampire chained there. "I’m not letting you up. Not until Willow gets here."

"But we could have so much fun…" Faith’s tongue snaked out and licked the center of her top lip. Seduction. Human or vampire, Faith was a master at it. "Or maybe… you like me all chained up. How ‘bout you come over here and play? We could do something about that nasty soul of yours." Her hips bucked up off the bed suggestively, "Pump it out of you? Then you and me, we could have some real fun. Maybe invite the prom queen to join us."

"Faith, that’s not you talking. Willow can restore your soul."

Faith screamed in fury and strained against her chains.

***

Willow.

My friend.

My savior.

There’s something between us that is more special than mere friendship. Willow has held my soul in the palm of her hand. She is my salvation.

Now she is Faith’s as well.

***

"What should I tell Buffy?" The red-haired witch asked as she packed away the Orb of Thesulah.

Faith stared morosely out the window, watching the raindrops run races down the glass.

"Nothing." I ran my hand through my hair, searching for an answer. "I’ll figure something…later…"

"Tell her it was my fault." Faith’s voice echoed eerily against the window.

"Its no one’s fault," I insisted in a voice that was half a whisper. I reached for her but she walked purposefully toward Willow.

"Tell her that I forced myself on him. I brought out his demon and made him drink from me. Then I ripped open his flesh and nursed on his blood until I became…this. Tell Buffy that. Tell her how I violated Angel. Make sure she brings a stake when she hunts me down. But whatever you do; don’t tell her I have a soul. I don’t want Buffy’s famous moral fortitude keeping her from doing the job."

Faith smashed a table and picked up a shattered wooden leg. "Here, give her this." She tossed the improvised stake to Willow.

"Stop!" With vampiric speed, I had Faith’s arms pinned to her side. "No one is staking anyone. You didn’t do anything wrong. You survived."

Willow allowed tears to bubble up in her expressive eyes and promised, "I won’t tell Buffy. I won’t tell her anything."

She left without another word, leaving Faith and I alone with each other, and our guilty souls.

Faith reached down and picked up a splinter off of the floor. She twirled it in her fingers, staring at it with gruesome intensity.

I spoke quietly, but my voice still blared through the room. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"

She looked up at me through the tears that darkened her eyes. "Because I hurt."

I went to her, held her in my arms. Her head rested against my chest, near the wound that had brought us to this place.

Against the fabric of my shirt, Faith begged, "Forgive me."

"There is nothing to forgive Faith."

She drew her gaze up to mine. My hand cupped the back of her head. Faith raised up on her toes. Her fingers skimmed my face.

And we kissed like long lost lovers.

Two vampires. Two souls. Both in a state of perfect despair.

I know its cliché-d but making love to her was like coming home. We were so alike, both of us resigned to the dark. Trying to save a world that didn’t even know we existed.

Contrite consciences clinging to each other in a sea of desperation. One for the sins of the past. The other for the heartbreak of the present.

***

She blew into the hotel like she owned the place.

Buffy.

Her presence was still jarring, still a thunderbolt to my heart.

Her eyes were wide with desperation. Spike had disappeared. She couldn’t find him. Willow couldn’t trace him.

"He has a soul," she explained to me. Her bottom lip quivered a infinitesimally and she bit down on it.

Buffy was in love with another vampire with a soul.

I was in love with another Slayer.

But still, there was a pull. An obligation. To Buffy. To the memory of us. So I agreed to help her.

Buffy steeled herself against the sight of Faith. How would she feel if she knew the truth? Would she be resigned to it? Would she be angry?

"Faith…" Buffy’s voice dripped with disdain.

I was going with angry.

"Willow said you were part of the LA scene now. How was prison?"

To her credit, Faith kept her composure. She ignored Buffy’s harsh comment and informed me resolutely, "I want to help."

***

I shouldn’t have taken her.

It was a mistake.

One of many I’ve made in my long existence.

I smelled Drusilla’s presence as soon as we got to Sunnydale. Rose petals and patchouli. Drusilla’s personal perfume. Spike would never be rid of her. And Dru was fickle. If she sensed his soul…

Spike was in a world of trouble. Buffy was in a state. And Faith, Willow, and I were keeping a terrible, beautiful secret.

It was a recipe for disaster.

***

"He’s this way."

I could feel his proximity. I could sense all three of my ‘children’. Spike’s pain, Drusilla’s madness, and Faith’s comforting presence.

"Dru’s close too. Keep alert."

Buffy clenched the stake she held tighter in her grip. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me nervous.

"There’s another." Buffy asserted. "There’s more than three vampires in this cemetery."

Behind Buffy’s back, Willow and I exchanged knowing glances. Faith remained stoic. "I think your Spidey Senses may be off, B."

Buffy conceded in a hushed tone. "Maybe."

"In there." Faith nodded toward a vine covered mausoleum. I shot her a warning look. She added, "I’m guessing."

Willow magically created an makeshift door.

There he was, chained up, beaten up, and shirtless. Spike is frequently all of these things, so the scene was no shock to me.

Buffy flew to his side, lifting him gently and whispering assurances that all was now well.

He noticed. He felt Faith’s condition in that place where vampires can sense their kin. Spike’s head tilted to the side like a puppy who hears a familiar word.

I warned him with a glare and a tiny shake of the head, but it was too late.

Putting two and two together, Buffy stared at Faith with new eyes. "Oh my God."

Faith reached out her hand as if to steady Buffy. "B, its okay… I have a soul. Think. Would I still be here if I didn’t?"

She choked out, "How?"

I attempted an explanation, even though I knew nothing would placate her. Buffy’s eyes never left Faith’s face. "There was an accident. She was dying."

Faith’s voice was hard when she added, "I made him."

Still gawking at Faith in disbelief, Buffy’s words marked my betrayal. "Angel made you?"

"I forced him to. It wasn’t his fault."

Buffy spat, "I believe that." Still supporting her lover, the golden Slayer plucked a stake from her pocket.

"Jesus B. You’re gonna stake me?"

"No," Buffy said severely, "I’m gonna stake her."

With the floodgates of Faith’s emotions open, I hadn’t sensed Drusilla. We all turned to watch the dangerous dark goddess as she rambled on about how Spike and I had betrayed her.

A fairly short and boring battle ensued. Even with Spike out of the game, two vampires, a Slayer and a witch were more than a match for even Drusilla. In the end, Buffy was on the ground next to a pile of vampire dust that used to be Drusilla.

Faith was once again extending her hand to Buffy. "Let me help ya up."

"Don’t. I’m fine."

"I was just trying…"

As Buffy rose from the ground, her gaze bore into me. "How could you? How could you not tell me?" Her piercing eyes drifted over to Willow and she hissed, "Both of you."

I attempted to sputter an explanation, "Buffy, I…"

"Get out. Get out of my town."

***

So we did. And we took someone with us.

"How’s she sleeping?"

Faith glanced into the backseat of my car at Willow, curled up like a child.

"Like a rock." I could feel Faith’s gaze on me even as I stared ahead at the road to LA. "Think she’ll ever get over it?"

"Willow?"

"Buffy." With another glance at the sleeping witch, Faith mused, "I understand her turning her back on us. But Willow?"

Searching for an explanation, I said, "Buffy can be…"

"…a bitch?" my love finished for me. I shot her an admonishing look, but she shrugged, "Hey, I just said what you wouldn’t."

It was my turn to shrug. "She’ll get over it. Pretty soon, Buffy will be begging Willow to come home."

"And maybe she won’t."

"Maybe."

***

Mistakes.

They say that’s how you learn.

I’ve learned a lot in the past 300 years or so. And I’ve redefined Before and After.

Before was life before I found my soulmate.

After is the point where Willow refined the ‘curse’. No matter how happy we become, Faith and I will always have our souls.

We will always have each other.

I will have eternity with my favorite mistake.



End

The Challenge: Angel turns Faith(the reasons are up to you). Faith has a soul. No one knows about it until Buffy shows up and her senses kick in when she's near Faith. Angst ensues between Angel, Buffy and Faith. Drusilla makes an appearance. Angel falls for Faith. Must have a happy ending. :-)

Thanks for the inspiration Marleena!