THE RULES OF CHOCOLATE


  • If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, 

    • you're eating it too slowly.
  • Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices 

    • and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many 
    as you want. 
  • The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate 

    • home from the store in a hot car. 
    The solution: Eat it in the parking lot. 
  • Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll 

    • take the edge off  your appetite, and you'll eat less. 
  • If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on 

    • top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, 
    and they willjump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
  • If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white 

    • chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other? 
  • Money talks. Chocolate sings. Beautifully. 
  • Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives 

    • make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat 
    more chocolate. 
  • Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things 

    • to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing 
    done.
  • A nice box of chocolates can provide your total 

    • daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that 
    handy? 
  • If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the 

    • freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's 
    wrong with you? 
  • If not for chocolate, there would be no need for 

    • control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry 
    would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can 
    you?
  • Chocolate being brown is a universal color and 

    • therefore can be substituted for any other food group.



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