Capitalist Commands!

(Suggestion: Sing to the music of "Sloop John B.")

(Chorus) 
So, let's try to understand 
Capitalist commands. 
Right is right and Left is unholy sin. 
Can't let them win, 
Can't let them win, 
We won't let them win 'cause it's sin to let the Left win. 


Our profits are number one. 
Passing money from father to son, 
Don't let the IRS take it away. 
National health 
Steals all our wealth. 
We'd have less money to defend USA. 


(Chorus) 


De-regulation's two. 
Big government is through, 
Don't let the Justice lawyers break us apart. 
That's subterfuge, 
Socialist rouge. 
Kills our business and breaks my capitalist heart. 


(Chorus) 


Power is number three. 
Only nepotism for me, 
Don't let persons' merits determine jobs. 
It all depends, 
On helping friends. 
They'll defend and protect me from plebeian mobs. 


(Chorus) 


Conforming is number four. 
We like rich more than poor, 
Token is the word for our Blacks and Gays. 
Right wing uptight, 
Need not be white. 
You too can join us in old-fashioned ways. 


(Chorus) 


Live well is number five. 
High profits help us survive, 
It is great that you continue to buy. 
Patriots know, 
To get more dough, 
American prices rise like good apple pie. 


(Chorus) 


Sportmanship's number six. 
Losers should take their licks, 
Call all Presidential elections fair. 
It's not a great cost, 
To have many votes lost. 
There are less lost votes than voters who don't vote and don't care. 


(Chorus) 


Order is number seven. 
America is heaven, 
Business as usual is our way. 
A final decision, 
Provides clearer vision. 
Muddying waters with details can cause us dismay. 


(Chorus) 


Retribution's number eight. 
Fear and trembling should be the fate, 
Of all who challenge our morality. 
Put them away, 
Where they can't say, 
Elections were stolen, not won by majority. 


(Chorus) 


Materialism's nine. 
Going to malls is always so fine, 
With dollars anything can be bought. 
Big boats and cars, 
Fine wine at bars. 
Who doesn't agree that poverty is so much rot. 


(Chorus) 


Governing's number ten. 
The true power of the pen, 
Is enacting Right-wing bills into laws. 
All Leftists' bills, 
Our voice-vote kills. 
It's fun being in power like our papas. 


(Chorus)