HUMOR Digest - 5 Aug 1997 to 6 Aug 1997

Date: Tue, 5 Aug 1997 03:39:50 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Put Downs

A rather plump man boarded a bus and sat down. The woman seated opposite said to her friend, "If that stomach were on a woman, it would indicate she were pregnant."

The man, overhearing the remark, turned to her and said, "It was, and she is."

A woman was shopping in a fairly nice dress store. Trying on a dress and liking it, she asked the salesman the price. When he told her she launched into a tirade about prices these days, covering just about everything from housing to auto tires.

After ten minutes or so, the salesman had obviously had enuff and said, "My dear lady. If the cost of living is so high and obviously so offensive to you, why do you bother ?"

A couple completed their dinner and the man asked for the check. Thinking to impress his date, he called the waiter over and loudly complained that the bill was incorrect.

The waiter patiently reviewed the bill with the man, and it was indeed correct.

"Are you trying to make a fool out of me ?" he huffed.

"Oh sir... Not in the least... I never interfere with nature."

As Mrs JimJr and I were leaving a party, where I may have overdone the comedy a wee bit, she fumed, "I hope you're happy with your antics tonite. Lord, I just hope nobody realized you were sober."

Two Yuppettes were lunching, and one looks over to see a friend entering the restaurant. "Oh, there's Ruth, do you believe that awful story about her ?"

The other woman says, "Of course ! What is it ?"

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