HUMOR Digest - 6 Aug 1997 to 7 Aug 1997

Date: Wed, 6 Aug 1997 03:56:55 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Drinking

Had a cousin once who was the town drunk. Not that unusual
really, unless you considered the fact that he lived in New York.

Mrs JimJr sez I drink too much. In reality though it really only
takes one drink to get me totally plastered... It's either the
fifteenth one or the sixteenth one, I always forget which.

She may well be right though. We went to a party Saturday night and
I could have had a bit too much to drink. I'm writing these jokes
on Tuesday afternoon, and I still have a hangover.

Actually I drink for a very good reason. I willed my body to science
and I figure I should try do my part in the meantime by
preserving it in alcohol until they get it.

In Columbia Maryland they're talking about closing the bars earlier.
Big deal. The way I figure, if you can't get drunk by midnite, you ain't half trying.

I've kinda been a drinker all my life though. In college, I was
voted the man most likely to dissolve.

A drunk looks up from his drink and says, "Bartender, I have to go.
Which way is the bathroom ?"

The bartender points out the direction, and as the man staggers off,
he sez "While you're there, go for me too."

The drunk returns, sits down, then sez "Damn ! I forgot something."

Then, minutes later, returns again and sez, "Hey bartender, you didn't
have to go."

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