HUMOR Digest - 12 Aug 1997 to 13 Aug 1997

Date: Tue, 12 Aug 1997 03:54:46 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Baltimore Maryland - One Tuff Town !

You think your town is tuff.     HA !    Baltimore Maryland has:

* hotels that ask your name, address and next of kin to register

* ice-cream trucks that play "taps"

* gun shops that have "Back to School" sales

* high school newspapers with obituary columns

* restaurants that serve broken leg of lamb

* school songs w/o music; the accompaniment is Police sirens

* nite clubs that frisk ya & if ya don't have a gun, they lend you one

* chapters of Jehovah's Alibiers

* confessionals with bouncers

* bowling alleys where most people bowl overhand

* schools that require a sick note co-signed by a parole officer

* Christmas pageants that feature the three Wise Guys

* advice columns with hints like how to get blood off of a chain saw

* a 911 emergency service with a two day waiting list

* "honor students" who practice saying "Yes/No, your honor"

* Mothers who give their kids $5 every day for the holdup man

* hit men with concrete on their breath

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