HUMOR Digest - 13 Aug 1997 to 14 Aug 1997

Date: Wed, 13 Aug 1997 03:59:14 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: US Imports

I hear President Clinton just worked out a trade agreement with the Russians. We're sending them fifty thousand cars, and they're sending us a hundred and fifty thousand unused parking spaces.

There's a new French perfume about to be imported into the US. It is so powerful and alluring that it has a warning label not to use it if you're just fooling around.

My neighbor bought an expensive South American parrot. I stood in front of the cage and said "Good Evening" in an attempt to get him to say it.

The parrot answered "No hablo Ingles."

Now when I go over there, the bird teaches me Spanish.

I suspect age is creeping up on me. I had some Mexican beer made with their local spring water. Now, I got a bad case of the "walks".

A woman is losing her hair and goes to the doctor. He sez there's a brand new male hormone from Australia available that works, but not approved for use in the US.

She arranges for a delivery from a friend she met on the Internet.

Two weeks later, the friend in Oz asks how it's working.

"Great so far." she replied "But it makes my testicles itch."

The FDA is warning Americans not to order "Mafia Acupuncture Kits" from Italy -- seems they're ice picks.

Politics is sometimes reflected in imports. In light of the recent scandal over the Swiss banks' relations with the Germans during World War Two, I understand all their latest cuckoo clocks have a bird that comes out and shrugs.

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