HUMOR Digest - 17 Aug 1997 to 18 Aug 1997

Date: Sun, 17 Aug 1997 07:01:04 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Wisdom Doesn't Always Come w/Age

Shortly after a new police commissioner took office, the local "house of pleasure" was raided and the girls were lined up outside for questioning and transport to the Police Station.

A little old lady chanced to walk by, and noticing the "line-up" asked what was happening. As a joke, one of the chicks told her they were standing in line for free lollipops.

A few minutes later, a constable approached the elderly woman and asked, "Aren't you a little bit old for this ?"

"Officer," she cackled, "as long as they keep making them, I'll keep sucking them."

During the wedding reception in the family mansion, the bride's Grandfather slipped her a $500 bill which she concealed in her glove, since he told her to keep it for "mad money".

By tradition, the couple spent their first night together in the historic house. The bride's Grandmother saw her sneaking down the stairs later that night, and asked where she was going.

"I left my gloves in the library, Grand-MaMa, and it's important that I have them."

"Oh you youngsters !" the Grandmother sighed. "You march yourself right back upstairs and grab hold of that thing with your bare hands, just as I did your Grandfather's."

"The attractive man I met last night insists he just wants to be friends." the girl told her maiden Aunt. "Now I know what to do with a lover, but, what the heck do I do with a 'friend' ?"

The wise old lady smiled and said, "The same as with your lover dearie, only not quite so often."

The newly wed seniors were having sexual problems. The counselor thought it might be due to the fact that the woman was taller. He suggested special shoes with build-up heels to help the man's ego.

The next month, he asked if things had improved in their love life with the shoes.

"Well yes..." the woman replied, "but those shoes get the sheets so dirty."

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