HUMOR Digest - 22 Aug 1997 to 23 Aug 1997

Date: Fri, 22 Aug 1997 04:03:13 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Childbirth

I suppose pregnant women do get tired of each person they talk to only discussing either babies or pregnancy with them. I was at a party one time and overheard a lady ask an obviously near full term mother-to-be how she was feeling these days.

The expectant lil' Mother frowned and said, "Not too good. I've missed seven or eight periods, and I'm beginning to worry about it."

The obviously concerned husband was standing alongside his wife as she lay on a stretcher, ready to be taken back into the delivery room, and obviously in a great deal of pain. He had a concerned look on his face as he said, "Honey, are you really sure you want to go through with this ?"

Pity the poor pregnant woman who is subjected to remarks about her size and girth. A VERY pregnant lady boarded the MetroLiner and found no seats. Instead of a gallant male jumping up they all just sat there.

Finally she said, "Well, isn't anyone going to offer me their seat."

This little fellow jumped up and said, "Well... I guess I can make a small contribution."

Following a long and painful labor and the birth of her 4th child, the woman relaxed in the hospital bed, drifting in and out of sleep. While she dozed, her husband entered the room with flowers, moved quietly towards the bed, bent over and kissed her.

She awoke at once, took one look at the flowers and said, "Ohhhhh Walter ! Please !!! Not so soon !!!"

The husband was trying to downplay the pain involved in childbirth. The woman asked her doctor if she could describe it to him.

"Sure." the doctor replied. "Mr. Armacost, grab hold of your lower lip." And when he did, she said, "Now pull it over your head."

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