HUMOR Digest - 26 Aug 1997 to 27 Aug 1997

Date: Tue, 26 Aug 1997 03:56:15 -0400
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Dining Out

A friend is one who takes you to lunch, even if he can't deduct it from his taxes or put it on his expense account.

Before the laws in Maryland were changed to allow no smoking at all, restaurants had separate areas for smokers and non-smokers.

Mrs. JimJr and I were dining out and two Yuppettes, who obviously couldn't get a seat in the non-smoking section, were very loudly commenting on smoking after I had lighted a cigarette.

One said, "We should have gone to the restaurant on the Lake, they don't allow smoking."

The other agreed and replied even louder, "Or we could have gone to Bruno's. They don't even allow smoking on the deck."

I turned directly facing them and said even louder, "Why don't you both go to Hell ?  Nobody can ever smoke there."

Years ago in this country, there used to be a man who went around to different restaurants rating them. Establishments which received a good rating were allowed to post a sign -- "Duncan Hines ate here."

One time I had a waiter ask me if everything was "alright".

Assuming that he meant other than the slow service and the terrible food I said, "I really think y'all should post your 'Duncan Hines wept here' sign."

There's a real nice French restaurant in Columbia. The waiters even have a sense of humor. Ours came over and introduced himself, told us the specials, then said, "And Monsieur, this week there's a special 10% discount if you don't try to order in French."

I realize good restaurants aren't like McDonald's. But I'm sure y'all have been to places where the service is almost non-existent.

When our waiter finally reappeared with the drinks, I said "Are you sure you're the same waiter who took our order. Somehow I expected a much older man."

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