HUMOR Digest - 15 Nov 1997 to 16 Nov 1997

Date: Sat, 15 Nov 1997 03:52:07 -0500
From: Jim Moore Jr
Subject: Malapropriety

A maid asked for a week's advance on her salary. "Our pastor is leaving the Church this Sunday, and the congregation wants to give him a little momentum."

At his destination he said, "I can't tell you how grateful I am for the ride. I hope someday to recuperate."

A mother commenting on her son's wife: "She may be a good Mother and all, but her housekeeping certainly is half-hazard."

A young boy, having lived on a farm all his life, was going to his first school dance. The Father asked him if he had a date and the boy replied, "No. I'm just going stud."

At a ceremony in the National Cathedral, an old lady buttonholed an usher and commanded, "Be sure you get me a seat up front young man. I understand they've always had trouble with the agnostics in this place."

Telling of a member expelled from her club, a woman said, "They dismembered her."

At the peak of the Saturday afternoon traffic, parking spaces were non-existent. A distraught looking matron rushed into the cleaners and said, "Would you wait on me next ? I'm double-breasted."

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