Things you wouldn't hear a person from Alabama say * We don't keep firearms in this house. * Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer? * You can't feed that to the dog. * I thought Graceland was tacky. * No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe. * Wrasslin's fake. * Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace? * We're vegetarians. * Do you think my hair is too big? * I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy. * Honey, these bonsai trees need watering? * Who's Richard Petty? * Give me the small bag of pork rinds. * Deer heads detract from the decor. * Spitting is such a nasty habit. * I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today. * Trim the fat off that steak. * Cappuccino tastes better than espresso. * The tires on that truck are too big. * I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad. * I've got it all on a floppy disk. * Unsweetened tea tastes better. * Would you like your fish poached or broiled? * My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's. * I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl. * Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams. * Checkmate. * She's too old to be wearing that bikini. * Does the salad bar have bean sprouts? * Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen. * I don't have a favorite college team. * I believe you cooked those green beans too long. * Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla. * Elvis who? * Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side. ---------- Submitted by: Nasir Majeed Nothing but Jokes by Nauman Faridi