Texas quotes 


From the unknown Texan:
     
In Texas, we're proud to have the best politicians that money can  buy.
     
For your delight and edification, here are some fine quips and quotes 
from some of our most notable politicians.
     
The following are actual quotes from (actual) Texas politicians:
     
1. "It just makes good sense to put all your eggs in one basket."
   Texas Rep. Joe Salem speaking on an amendment requiring all 
   revenues to go into the state treasury
     
2. "Lemme give ya' a hypothetic."
   Texas Rep. Renal Rosson
     
3. "Ain't nothin' in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead 
   armadillos."
   Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower
     
4. "And now, will y'all stand and be recognized?"
   Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis to a group of handicapped people in
   wheelchairs
     
5. "Dallas salutes a person who can buy a piece of art, but not a person 
   who can create one."
   A. C. Greene
     
6. "No thanks, once was enough."
   Texas Governor Bill Clements, asked if he had been born again
     
7. "Oh good.  Now he'll be bi-ignorant."
   Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower when told that Texas 
   Governor Bill Clements had been studying Spanish
     
8. "I'd just make a little bit of money, I wouldn't make a whole lot."
   Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis defending himself against the  charge 
   that he would personally profit from a bill he had introduced.
     
9. "Well, there never was a Bible in the room."
   Texas Governor Bill Clements, asked about repeatedly lying about 
   the SMU football scandal.
     
10. "I am filled with humidity."
    Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis
     
11. "If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drillin' rights on 
    that man's head."
    Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower discussing President 
    George Bush's policies
     
12. "If it's dangerous to talk to yourself, it's probably even dicier to 
    listen"
    Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower
     
13. "I move we recess to go outside and throw up."
    Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis during a budget hearing
     
14. "This is a real competitive business."
    A gas station owner, when asked to explain the rapid rise in 
    gasoline prices when Kuwait was invaded
     
15. "...idiots, imbeciles, aliens, the insane and women..."
    Law standing in Texas until 1918 regulating who could not vote
     
16. "It's the sediment of the House that we adjourn."
    Texas House Speaker Wayne Clayton
     
17. "Let's do this in one foul sweep."
    Texas House Speaker Wayne Clayton
     
18. "This is unparalyzed in the state's history."
    Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis
     
19. "I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished
    yourselves this session."
    Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis
     
12. "We'll run it up the flagpole and see who salutes that booger."
    Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis
     
21. "There's a lot of uncertainty that's not clear in my mind."
    Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis
     
22. "I can explain it for you, but I can't understand it for you."
    Anon.
     
23. "There are still places where people think that the function of the
    media is to provide information."
    Don Rottenberg
     
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Submitted by: Angela from New Jersey


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Nothing but Jokes by Nauman Faridi