Long Time ~*~~*~Present~*~ The rain fell onto the London streets like large tear drops filling up muddy puddles a kid walked past dressed a bright yellow raincoat with matching Wellington boots and a hat they jumped in the every puddle that was near them while I just shivered with coldness a blanket had been wrapped round me as I was looking out the window I was still in shock from what happened a few hours ago why did it have to happen to me I always felt perfectly safe in London I had my boyfriend with mehe was great, Funny, caring, kind and a very good lover but that didn't matter right now. I felt scared didn't know where to turn where to look I felt ashamed when I looked atand when I saw my reflection I felt even more ashamed of myself I felt dirty and un-clean even if I washed fifty times already today nothing would take this dirt away not until he was caught the dirty image played over and over again in my mind...I gone out in this pouring rain to get some milk as we had run out I kissedgoodbye and went down the road just a normal thing for me to do walk down to our local kiosk but what was hiding down the alley I had to past changed that forever "hey cutie" came a husky cold voice I ignored it and carried on walking faster someone caught my arm and dragged me into the alleyway they slammed me against the wall and started to kiss my neck I pushed them away I saw his face it was full of evilness his dark eyes burned into my memory like fire burning through paper he held the back of my neck hard "don't resist it sweetie" he said his voice was full of such coldness he shoved his tongue down my throat as his hand went to the zip on my trousers he pushed me down to the floor and with all his force entered me it was painful and I cried all the way through it "thanks for that you slapper" he said as he got up and ran off I lay there shivering and crying I couldn't move I was to stunned... ~*~'S~FLASHBACK~*~ I looked up at the clock worriedshould of been back by now it only took 20 minutes to go to the local kiosk and back now she had been gone double that time I got up and grabbed my coat I decided to go down to the kiosk and see if she was there I banged the front door shut and walked down the road as I passed the alleyway I saw a women led on the ground crying hysterically I walked up to her "are you ok?" I asked she moved her hands away from her face "" I said stunned as I went down to her level "what happened babe" I asked pulling her into a hug "a man grabbed me as I walked by then he...he... raped me" she said through tears "what?" I said in disbelieve how could somebody be so cruel as to hurt my baby girl "come on lets get you home" I said standing up pulling her with me she held her trousers that were now ripped up and hobbled along with me till we got back to our house we were silent all the way back and it didn't seem right normally we'd be chatting away like nobodies business but I suppose this was a different matter a very different matter. I opened the front door and shut it again behind me with my footlet go of me and walked in the direction of the bathroom she turned the shower on then looked back at me normally she would ask if I wanted to join her but she just shut the door and said she'd be out in half an hour. I sat in the living room in silence I looked from photo to photo of her and myself she was always smiling I remember when she told me "never frown you never know who could be falling in love with your smile" when I was felling a bit down she could always turn my frown upside down and now she was the one with the broken smile I looked to the most recent photo that hung above the mantle piece as I looked at her sweet lustful smile I was still trying to figure out how somebody would want to hurt her, she's too beautiful to see her in pain. The bathroom door clickedcame out into the living room she wore her soft lilac bathrobe "I’m so sorry" she said sitting down next to me "hey, hey baby you've got nothing to be sorry for" I said pulling her closer she cried in my arms "butI have I feel ashamed of myself I feel really dirty" she said her eyes all sad. ~*~Present~*~ She got up and walked away from me she sat down in the window seat and look out at the rain I slowly got up and went into the kitchen I switched the kettle on and got two mugs down from the cupboard and put some instant hot chocolate is wasfavourite hot drink and hopefully it would calm her down make her realise that she shouldn't be ashamed of herself or be sorry to me she didn't do anything wrong the only person who did was the man that raped her and took away her confidence I poured the hot water into the mugs and went back into the living room I set my down on the table then went over to Linzi "here take this babe" I said she turned round and took the cup from my hand "thanks" she smiled weakly I put my arms around her and kissed her forehead. ~*~Few Weeks Later~*~ ~*~~*~ It had now been a few weeks since the incident and I was finally ready to letmake love to me it had taken all my strength to forget about what happened I didn't report it to the police because I wanted to forget what happened but asmade love to me that night I saw the face that haunted me and I started to cry "I’m sorry I can't get his horrible face out of my mind its burned into my brain" I said as I pushed away "its ok babe" he said and just hugged me "I’ll be back in a minute" I said getting up and going into the bathroom I turned back went up to and gave him a long passionate kiss it would be his last well from me anyway I thought as I wonder back into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet I took out the paracetemol and opened it I took the glass on the side and filled it with water as I gulped it back I popped pill after pill into my mouth the pot was now empty as I went back into my room I started to feel the effect of them but didn't want to alarmI climbed into the bed and snuggled up to him where I fell asleep instantly. ~*~~*~ I woke up the next morningwas still in my arms but she had gotten really heavy I looked at her face and noticed her lips were blue and her face was snow white I checked her pulse but I couldn't feel it "," I said rocking her frantically I got no response I reached for the phone on the bedside table and dialled 999 "please help me, my girlfriend won't wake up" I said upset "sir can you please tell your address and an ambulance will be right round" I said my address and waited for the ambulance to show up I went into the bathroom and when I got there I saw a pot on the floor I picked it up it was supposed to be a pot of paracetamol but it was empty I ran back into the bedroom and screamed "PLEASE TELL YOU DIDN'T" I said tears falling faster and faster why did she do this did it really get to her that much that she had to end her life why? was the constant question going round and round in my mind the door rang and I ran down the stairs to answer it "she's up there" I said pointing to the stairs the paramedics ran up the stairs and in the direction of our bedroom "but I think its to late" I whispered to myself as I climbed the stairs "I think she took an overdose" I said as I entered the room "yes she has and she had been dead for about 7 hours" the paramedics replied one of them got a mobile-type out of his pocket and I heard him say "can I have an undertaker sent to ....... as soon as possible please" "he'll be here in 20 minutes" the paramedic said to the other then they both looked at me as I burst into tears and sat down against the doorframe "this is a nightmare isn't it?" I asked looking at them "sorry" one of them said as the other shook there head. Hours Later had been taken to the morgue,andhad come round to comfort me "she didn't seem the type to do such a thing"said looking at an invisible spot on the carpet "I know" I replied and stared at her picture a fresh set of tears came down my face as I saw her smile it reminded me of the fact I’d never see that beautiful smile again until god takes me under his wing in the gates of heaven. It had been a year since then and I slowly but sorrowfully got on with my life Blue the bad that I was in with,andhad to record there first album which would go by the name of our first successful single All Riseloved that song some much when she was alive and our career first started up we'd just released another single 'If You Come Back' which had been written for us I really didn't want to release it as it made me think of Linzi I knew she would like that song. "You alright"said coming out of the studio door "yeah fine just going to record a song for our album" I said and let a song sheet fall in front of him he looked at it and smiled sympathetically as he knew the meaning of it I walked into the studio and the music started then I started to sing... The warmth in your smile is the warmth that I desire, 'Cos it's cold and lonely in this place, oh yeah. And I need to get close to the flames in a fire, And lose myself in yesterday, oh yeah. It's gonna be a long long long time, till I can be with you again, and see your smile. It's gonna be a long long long time, till I hold you in my arms all through the night, it's gonna be a long long time. Looking outside and I feel so un-inspired And It rain's all through this lonely night oh yeah. I'm losing my mind and my soul is feeling tired, 'Cos girl you are my guiding light oh yeah. It's gonna be a long long long time till I can be with you again, and see your smile. It's gonna be a long long long time till I hold you in my arms all through the night it's gonna be a long long time. Girl I been missing you I never thought I'd feel this way. All the feelings I have inside grow stronger everyday. Girl I want you to know that I will never let you go. You're the only one I really want And there's one thing you've gotta know It's gonna be a long long long time till I can be with you again, and see your smile. It's gonna be a long long long time till I hold you in my arms all through the night it's gonna be a long long time. It's gonna be a long long long time till I can be with you again, and see your smile. It's gonna be a long long long time till I hold you in my arms all through the night it's gonna be a long long time. Listen girl I need you Are you there? There's nothing I can do about it And I wanna hold you And show you how much you mean to me Oh yeah That's right Don't you know I want you in my life, my life, my life I finished singing the last line as a tear dropped from my eye I walked out of the studio looked at me and smiled lightly "song for" I said "I know I’m sure where ever she is she heard it" I nodded 5 years on ~*~ ~*~ Today was the sadest day of mine,'s and's life it was the day of's funeral he had died a week ago because he was involved in a horrific car accident but I can't shake this feeling that it was done on purpose maybe he wanted to die he never forgot aboutshe was one of them girls who'd no matter what would always leave footprints in you heart we got into the church seeing's coffin led on two gold plated metle stands brought tears to our eyes after the vicar had said what he had to say and myself along withandhad said what we had to a familiar song started playing as it ended I thought I sawat the alter along withbut she wasn't in the clothes she died in neither wasthey were in smart clothesin a wedding dress andin a tailored suit they looked over in our direction and smiled before kissing each other just as the song ended...It's gonna be a long long long time till I can be with you again, and see your smile. It's gonna be a long long long time till I hold you in my arms all through the night it's gonna be a long long time. I looked atandand I knew they had seen it to it confirmed what I had thought earlier the accident had been on purpose but it was fate even if had to wait fora 'Long Time' The End