Eminem - The Real Slim Shady

May I have your attention please
May I have your attention please
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up
We're gonna have a problem here

Ya’ll act like you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
Started whoopin her ass worst than before
They first were dirvorced throwing her over furniture (scream)
It’s the return of the
(Aw wait, no way, your kidding, he didn’t just say what I think he did, did he?)
And Dr Dre said...
Nothing you idiot Dr Dre’s dead hes locked in my basement (haha)
Femenist women loved Eminem
Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him
Look at him walking around grabbing his you know what
Flipping at you know who (yeah but he's so cute though)
Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's going on in your parent's bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let Loose
But I can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
My bum is on your lips my bum is on your lips
And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
And that’s the messege that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course there gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit 4th grade
They got the discovery channel don’t they
We ain't nothing but mammals, well some of us cannabals
Who cut other people open like cantoloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote
Women wear your pantyhoes, sing the chorus and it goes

Chorus

Im Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real slim shady
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up
Cuz I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up

Will Smith don’t gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too
You think I give a damm about a grammy
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
(But Slim what if you win, wouldn’t it be weird)
Why, so you guys can just lie to get me here
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear them argue over who she gave head to first
Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
(Yeah, he's cute but I think hes married to Kim, hehe)
I should download an audio on MP3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (scream)
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me
So I been sent here to destroy you
And there,s a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me
Who just don’t give a fuck like me
Who dress like me
Walk talk and act like me
It just might be
The next best thing
But not quite me

Chrous

I'm like a headtrip to listen to
Cuz I'm only giving you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only diffreance is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
And I don’t got to be false or sugar coat it at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
Whether you like to admit it
I just shit it Better than 90% of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can these kids kids eat these albums, like valiums
It's funny cuz at the rate I'm going when I'm 30
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurses asses when jacking off with Jergins
And I'm jerking but this whole bag of viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin'
He could be working at Burger King spittin' on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot circling, screaming I don’t give a fuck
With his windows down and his system up
So will the real Shady please stand up
And put one of those fingers on each hand up
And to be proud to out of your mind and out of control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go

Chrous (2X)

(laugh)
I guess theres a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it
Lets all stand up