Disclaimers: Law & Order – Criminal Intent and its characters don’t belong to me, but I’m looking forward to find a Bobby of my own.

Author’s note: This is silly, I just warn you. Don’t take it seriously. I don’t.

The first rock band I mention is Red Hot Chilli Peppers, that was playing on the radio the moment I was writing that part. The other is Eagles that played on my radio later.

And, yes, I confess, I stole and changed the title (please, call Detective Goren to ask me some questions... :-P)

Rating: G

Archive: I finally have a place to archive it: Here!!!

Summary: Eames is upset, having a bad day. Goren comes to her rescue.

Confessions Of A Pissed Off Mind.

By Willows

It’s a beautiful sunny day, one could say. Maybe it is, I don’t know. I just can’t feel it. Seems that clouds made my heart their home. Don’t ask me why. I can answer a question, not today. Not this week. I can’t even really think. My mind is out of work, I guess. A car crash calls my attention for no more than a minute. It’s an everyday event, anyway. The radio is on, and I almost can follow the beat of the music. A Californian rock band, as I heard the voice from the radio saying. It’s not like the old California bands. Sounds like a mix of joy and sadness, if it’s really possible.

I turn off the phone again, after trying to make a call for the twentieth time. I try hard not to lose my hope, but I think it’s not longer possible by now. I can think about hundred excuses to be like this. I can also think about thousand reasons for his phone is off. But I can’t, really can’t lie anymore. Who am I trying to cheat?

I know about the phone call he received last week. I know about the date he had yesterday. And I know that I waited too much. I let the time run, and I did nothing to help myself.

I had my chance. I could leave this situation in a better position, not as a victim. I can’t consider myself a victim. I saw the signs. I did nothing but just look. I didn’t try to stop it. I refused to believe it was happening. It was happening to me. My mistake. My guilt. My fault.

A knock on the door and I look ahead. Bobby is standing at the doorway, looking at me. I can see concern in his eyes. I half-smile at him and he comes, sitting next to me, his eyes staring at an unknown place lost in the horizon. He sees the blue sky. And somehow I know he sees inside me, too.

I manage to try a call for the twentieth-something time, but I stop my hand before touching the phone. Bobby grins and his hand rests on mine. I sigh and try to bring my concentration back to work, but it’s useless. I open my purse looking for an aspirin, but what I find is my new keys. I changed them early in the morning. I wish I’d done it before. Much before. I stare at these keys, as they were able to make everything work.

Suddenly my hands start to shake and I can’t control it. I can’t face Bobby. I cannot even control myself. I know he wants to ask me, everybody wants to know what happened. Or what haven’t happened. But I raise and walk to the breaking room, feeling all the looks following my steps. I didn’t know my private life wasn’t that private at all. I sigh as I notice Bobby walking behind me. He doesn’t want to leave me alone. But I don’t want his company. I want no company at all, at least for now. I just want to be alone.

On the other hand, I can’t simply drive home and maybe have to face him, although I don’t believe he’s back. His phone is still off.

Another California band playing on the radio. This time is an old song. I remember that. It reminds me a day when I never imagined it would happen to me. It was long ago. Twenty years, maybe. A long time ago. And now I’m here. I turn to find Bobby still staring at me. He, again, tries to smile. This time I decide to give him a chance.

"Let’s go out of here. You need some fresh air."

I nod slowly. I know what I need. Peace.

"Where do you wanna go?" – Bobby asks, as we take the elevator.

"Niagara falls." – I answer without paying much attention.

"Why?"

"When I was young, I used to watch the Woody Woodpecker, and there was an episode where everybody wants to go down the Niagara Falls on a wooden barrel. Sounded so silly. I think I need something silly to try to cheer me up." – I give him that silly answer, and I feel silly myself.

"It makes sense. You wanna do something, silly, really, really silly?" – His eyes are shining. I can’t imagine what’s passing through it.

"What you have in mind?" – I ask, with suspicious in my eyes.

"Come with me." – That’s his answer, and I just follow him out of the PD, out of the building, right to the street.

"Won’t we pick a car?" – I ask, astonished by the new color on his face. It’s excitement. Not that weird excitement that fills him when he discovers something new during an investigation. Neither the one when he’s ready to make all Carver’s procedures fail with his theories. No. It’s different. He’s looking like a child on a Sunday morning. I can almost forget the suitcase filled with man’s clothes that I left with the building janitor. I guess I waited too much to do that. I’m following Bobby through the streets, but mind is really miles away. Niagara falls. It would be a good idea, in the end. I could push Henry and nobody would miss him. This flash of idea makes me smile, and Bobby notices it.

"I can see your mood is getting better." – He says, care and tender in his voice.

"Yeah. Another silly idea with Niagara as a scenario."

"I don’t like that look in your eyes." – He says sharply.

"Don’t worry. It won’t hurt while it’ll be only in my mind." – I grin, the sun touching my skin, Bobby’s hand on my shoulder, gently guiding me down the street.

"Where are we going?" – I ask him with curiosity.

"It’s a surprise. You’ll enjoy it. I know that."

Suddenly he makes me stop, and turns me to the right, to face a small coffee shop colorful, filled with balloons and ribbons.

"What the ..." – I almost shout, not being able to close my month for a second. – "How did you find this place?"

"My cousin. I bring her children her when I’m babysitting them." – He bend his head, opening an ear-to-ear smile. – "C’mon, Eames. This is the silliest place you ever gone, isn’t it?"

"Yeah. For sure."

"So. It’ll be cool. I’m sure you’ll have fun."

We get into ‘the next to dreamland’ and, for my total surprise, Bobby calls all the workers by their names.

We sit on a yellow table surrounded by blue ribbons. There are kids playing and running around, making noise and laughing. He’s right. Despite all the mess, it’s relaxing.

The waiter comes with two giant glasses of milk shake and two amazing plates with sandwich and fried potatoes. To my entire surprise there’s a Woody Woodpecker on a barrel drawn on the plate.

I look at Bobby’s eyes. I know he’s expecting something. I look at the plate again and this time I can’t hold my laugh. Bobby had drawn the falls with the potatoes and made a smiling face with catchup.

Don’t care what I’m going to find when I arrive home. Bobby was never so fun as he is today.

~Fin~

I know it’s silly, I start writing about one thing and then, you know what happened. I just hope you enjoyed it.