Chapter Two

He Wont Have To Know



AJ didn’t look back as he ran up the stairs.  He was so mad at Marshall right now he was sure he would blow up.  Running into their bedroom and flopped down on the bed tears falling freely from his eyes.  “How could I have been stupid enough to think he would agree with me?”  He yelled to nobody in particular.  Of course he and Marshall had disagreed about things over the last few years, but Marshall had never actually came out and told him how stupid he thought an idea was.  That was what hurt AJ the most.  Not that Marshall didn’t like the idea, but how he reacted.

Marshall watched AJ Walk up the stairs in shock.  ‘Did he really just ask me about that?’  He thought to himself as he looked down at the coffee table.  Sure enough there was the file folder with all the information on it.  ‘Why didn’t he tell me he was thinking about this?  You know perfectly well why he didn’t tell you about it, you would have reacted just like you did.’  His mind screamed.  Marshall couldn’t help but sigh and look back up the stairs.  He knew AJ was mad at him, and he had every right to be.  “Why the fuck did you have to yell at him like that you asshole.”  He screamed as he threw a glass against the wall.



AJ heard the sound of glass shattering downstairs, but didn’t care enough to go make sure Marshall was all right. He was glad Marshall was feeling bad for talking to him that way.  This wasn’t the way you were supposed to treat the person you loved.  Deep down he really didn’t want to be mad at Marshall. No, what he really wanted was to have him with him making love to him like there was no tomorrow.  He was right when he said he was being emotional because it had been too long since they had seen each other.  He didn’t want to break down though, he needed Marshall to come up to him and apologize first before anything could happen.  There was no way in hell he was going to be the one apologizing.



Marshall felt himself sob as he threw the glass against the wall.  He didn’t understand why he was getting so emotional over the whole situation.  ‘Maybe its because you agree with him.’  Yeah, that was it; he really wanted to have a baby with AJ as much as he did.  But deep down he knew it wasn’t possible.  It wasn’t the fact that he thought the idea was totally bogus.  It was the idea that nobody knew they were even a couple, let alone able to have a baby together.  ‘That’s what you need to tell Alex you idiot.  Go upstairs and tell him what you’re thinking.  Remember he wanted you guys to start talking more.’  His mind screamed.  Finally coming up with a solution he walked up the stairs to his and AJ’s bedroom.   Once he got to the door he secretly hoped it would be locked.  That way he wouldn’t have to talk to AJ.  Talking about his feelings was one thing Marshall Mathers wasn’t good at.  ‘Just open the fucking door!’  His mind screamed again as he reached for the doorknob.  It turned easily and he walked into the room.  What he saw there made is breath catch in his throat.  AJ was lying on his stomach on the bed with his head in his pillow.  He almost looked childlike in that position.  “Alex.”

AJ felt himself stiffen when he heard Marshall’s voice.  He wasn’t sure why, but at that moment he was really scared of Marshall.  Maybe he was afraid he would turn out like that glass, and be shattered against the wall.  Or maybe because he knew he wasn’t strong enough to not break down and give in to Marshall’s loving arms.  “Marshall…Just go away…Please!”  He knew he was whining, but he didn’t care.  He couldn’t handle having Marshall around him.

Marshall walked closer to the bed.  “I’m not leaving until we talk about this.  You were the one that said this communication shit was important.  So, here I am, ready to talk.”

AJ turned around and looked at Marshall with hurt in his eyes.  “You want to know what pisses me off the most?  When Marshall didn’t say anything he continued.  “What I hate the most is the fact that every time I seem to have an idea or something is important to me, its always stupid.  Why is that Marshall?”

AJ watched a million different emotions flash across Marshall’s face.  The one thing he learned over the years was how easily you could tell what Marshall was thinking or feeling by just looking into his bright blue eyes.  Right now there was a mixture of sadness, surprise, and even fear.  Seeing the fear sort of helped to calm AJ down.  It took a lot to scare Marshall Mathers, and it helped him to know that Marshall really did feel badly about what had happened.  That he was scared he was going to loose him.

Marshall looked down at the ground for a second.  Why was he always doing that to AJ’s ideas?  He really had no idea.  “I don’t know Alex, and I’m sorry I’ve been doing that. I really don’t think your ideas are stupid.”

AJ couldn’t help but laugh.  “You are sure good at pretending that you hate it then.”  Yeah he knew he was being harsh, but he wasn’t going to let him off that easy.

“If you are talking about this whole baby plan, then yeah I would have to say you are out of your mind Alex.  I don’t mean to say this to hurt you in anyway, but have you really taken the time to think about what this would all mean.  I mean, people don’t even know we are together, AJ.  How do you expect them to react when they read the newspaper headline?  ‘’Backstreet Boy AJ McLean, and Rapper Eminem’s secret love affair, and child.’  I don’t know about you but I’m not ready to explain that to anymore.”  Marshall stopped to watch AJ’s reaction.  He didn’t want him to be mad at him, but he didn’t want to be gentle with what he was saying either.  He needed to make sure that AJ got the idea of what he was trying to say.  That this simply wouldn’t work.

It was AJ’s turn to look at that ground.  He knew in his mind that what Marshall was saying was true, but his heart was telling him differently.  He could feel a new set of tears coming to his eyes.  “Marshall…I want this so…Badly.”  He hiccupped.

Marshall was at AJ’s side in a second.  “I know you do baby, and if I could give it to you I would in a second, but it’s not possible.”

AJ moved away from Marshall shoulder.  “But it is possible Marsh, you need to read all of that folder.”

Marshall groaned.  He was sure he got through to AJ, but it seemed he was still stuck in this dream world.  A world where it was normal for men to love each other.  A world where it was normal for men to have babies.  Knowing he had to some how get AJ’s mind off the topic he went with what he knew as AJ’s week spot.  Placing his mouth by AJ’s ear he began to blow into it.  He smiled to himself as he felt AJ react to what he was doing.  “Why don’t we forget about this for a while and have some fun?”  He whispered.

AJ shivered.  Yeah, Marshall was just trying to stall, but heck he would have to be half dead to not react to what Marshall was doing to him.  It was then that he got an idea.  “Marshall, I have to pee.”  He exclaimed and jumped off the bed.

Marshall just laughed and watched him walk across the room to the bathroom.

Once inside the bathroom AJ reached behind the toilet picking up a small paper sack.  Setting it on the counter he slowly took out the small bottle of bright red pills.  ‘You know you want to do this Alex.  What do you got to loose?’  He asked himself as he looked down at the bottle in his hands.  Opening the bottle he took out one of the pills and held it to his mouth.  He couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of the situation.  He had seen many movies where the woman in the movie was thinking about wanting to have a baby.  In the movie the woman would be looking at the pill in her hand trying to figure out if she wanted to take it or not.  Here he was trying to decide the same thing.

“Alex, you alright in there?”  Called Marshall.

“Yeah, I will be out in second.”  He yelled back looking down at the pill again.  ‘Just do it!’  Slowly he put the pill to his lips and grabbed a cup of water and it was done.  He swallowed the small pill. ‘It only takes a matter of seconds for these to get in your blood stream.’  AJ could hear the doctor’s voice as he sighed and flushed the toilet to make it look like he actually went to the bathroom, and left the room.

“Took you long enough.”  Said Marshall with a twinkle in his eye.  “Normally you are more eager then I am when it comes to this kind of stuff.”

AJ smiled and walked to the bed.  “You know how bad it is when you have to pee when you’re hard.  I didn’t want that to happen.”  He explained crawling over to Marshall.  “But I’m ready now.”  He whispered in Marshall ear, making sure to take time to suck on his ear and neck.

Marshall moaned.  This was going better then he expected.  He thought he would have to beg AJ to forget about the whole baby thing.  But here he was acting exactly how he was supposed to be, and it was a relief to Marshall.

“You like that baby?”  Asked AJ as he continued to suck on his lover’s neck.

“You know I do.”  Was all Marshall could say before he felt AJ’s hands moving from his shoulders down his stomach and wandering farther to his jeans.

“I think these things need to go.”  Said AJ tugging on the unnecessary piece of clothing to make his point.

Marshall responded by quickly standing up, pulling his t-shirt over his head, and stripping his jeans and boxers off in one quick easy movement.

AJ laughed.  “And I thought I was the sex freak.”

“You still are.  And Mr. sex freak I think you are the one that is a little over dressed.”

AJ followed suit and began to take his own clothing off.  Once both men were naked they lay lying on the bed not moving.  At first AJ thought Marshall had some idea of what he had done in the bathroom.  He couldn’t believe he was lying to Marshall about the whole thing, but he wanted to be able to prove it worked.  Maybe, just maybe, he would become pregnant, and then he knew Marshall would understand.

“You alright J?”

AJ shook his head and turned to see Marshall looking at him with concern in his eyes.  Smiling slightly he nodded.  “Yeah I’m fine.  Are we just going to lie here naked?  Or are we going to take advantage of this situation?”  He asked looking over Marshall’s naked body.  He could feel himself getting hard just looking at the man he loved.

Marshall could see the look in AJ’s eyes and felt himself getting hard.  “Oh you better believe I’m going take advantage of this situation.  I don’t think I could stay here looking at your body, and not be able to do the things I want to do.”  He said crawling on top of AJ’s body grinding his lower body into his lover’s.  Marshall smiled when he felt AJ’s reaction to his movements.  It had been way to long since they had been able to do this.  They hadn’t gotten more then five minutes together in the last month.  This was when having a career in the music industry was really shitty. Especially when you are gay, and not out in the open about it.

“We really need to stop spacing out on each other like this.”  Said AJ looking up at Marshall’s dazed expression.  “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were bored of me.”

It was Marshall’s turn to shake his head to clear his mind.  “I could never get tired of you baby.”

“Make love to me Marshall.”

Looking into his lover’s eyes he could see the love and reassurance he needed.  Moving slightly to the side he reached into the bedside table and pulled out the bottle of lube.  Climbing back onto his lover he opened the bottle he poured some of the smooth liquid into his hands trying to warm it up before he put it on AJ.  He knew how much he hated having the cold liquid on his body.  Finally when he was sure it was warm enough he began to rub it soothingly onto and inside AJ’s ass.

“Oh God.”  Was AJ’s response.  “It has been way to long Marsh.  I don’t know how much of this I’m going to be able to take.”

“I know baby, I know.”  Said Marshall as he started to insert fingers into AJ.  He felt AJ tense for a second when he used three fingers.  “Are you ok?  I can stop you know.”  He said worried that he was hurting him.

“No! Don’t stop, just give me a second alright.”  Said AJ closing his eyes trying to imagine other things to try and get his mind off the pain he was feeling.  Finally after a minute or so he felt his body relax and knew he was ready for more.  “I’m ready Marsh, I need you inside me NOW!”

Marshall shook his head and laughed.  “Yes, sir.”  He moved so he could reach his own cock and put some of the liquid onto it.  Trying hard not to pay to much attention to what his hands were doing, knowing it would be over before it began if he let that happen.  When he felt he was ready he grabbed pillows from the top of the bed and put them under AJ’s hips.  “You ready baby?”

“I just said I was didn’t I.”  Came AJ’s husky response.

Marshall groaned at AJ’s voice and knew right away this wasn’t going to last as long as he would have hoped.  Lifting AJ’s hips just right he positioned himself at his entrance.  Slowly as not to hurt him he began to push inside.  He felt AJ tense a little bit but also saw the look of pleasure go over the young man’s face.  Marshall was actually surprised when he was all the way inside and AJ hadn’t said anything.  Normally he wanted him to wait a little bit before he got all the way inside.  Looking up at AJ’s eyes he knew he was all right and began to move in and out of his lover.

“Fuck Em.  That feels amazing.”  AJ screamed as he felt Marshall hitting his prostate.

Marshall was moaning and groaning himself, but had never been much of a vocal person during sex.  But that was all right to AJ, because the sounds he was making was enough to know that Marshall was more then enjoying himself.  After a few minutes of moving Marshall felt himself nearing his climax. 

“I’m…Close.”  He panted out.

“Oh, God me too!” Came AJ’s just as struggled response.

Marshall wanted AJ to cum at the same time he did so he moved his hands between their bodies and found AJ’s erect cock and began stroking it.

“AHH FUCK!” He screamed as soon as he felt Marshall’s hands on him.  “I’m…oh God.”  Was all AJ could get out before he began to shoot his load all over his and Marshall’s stomach.

That was all it took for Marshall to go over the edge.  “ALEX!”  He screamed as he shot his own cum deep inside AJ.  Feeling his earth shake he knew this was probably one of the most intense orgasms he’s had in a long time.  “That was…”

“Amazing.” AJ finished.

“Yeah, amazing.”

Marshall pulled out of AJ and rolled over onto his side of the bed.  He was more then exhausted and bent down to pull the blankets over them.  “Good night baby.”

AJ scooted closer to Marshall and yawned.  “Good night.”

AJ felt Marshall’s breathing deepen and knew he was asleep.  Yeah, he was tired too, but something inside of him was keeping him awake.  He couldn’t help but wonder if in the last minute his life could have totally changed.  ‘Thinking too much about this shit is going to drive you crazy.  Just get to sleep.’  He told himself and turned over resting his head on Marshall’s chest falling asleep.