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Chapter Four
“What’s It Say?”
Marshall looked at AJ strangely. He always hated conversations that started with something along the lines of ‘We need to talk.’ But ever since they had that fight a month ago about communication. Marshall had tried to humor the younger man. Listening to anything he felt was important. Even listening to him when he got emotional about something with the other Backstreet Boys. So, this was the same way. “Alright.”
AJ looked down at his hands for a few moments trying to gain the words and confidence he would need. ‘Marshall, you know those pills I told you about? Well, I took them and they worked.’ No, that wouldn’t work. He had to think of something cleverer. Something that wouldn’t cause Marshall to think he was joking, or something.
Ok, Marshall was getting scared now. It had been almost five minutes since AJ told him they needed to talk, and he wasn’t saying anything. This could only mean something bad. ‘Is he going to break up with me?’ He though.
Finally AJ got an idea and sighed. He turned to see Marshall sitting next to him with fear in his eyes. “Marshall, I have something to tell you, but I don’t think you are going to like it.”
“Oh, fuck I knew it. You’re going to break up with me. This is just fucking perfect.” Yelled Marshall jumping off of the couch and started to pace in front of it.
AJ looked on in shock. “Marshall! Stop for a second all right! I never said anything about breaking up with you!” He yelled back.
Marshall stopped pacing and looked at AJ, relief showing in his eyes. “You’re not?”
AJ had to smile at Marshall’s hopeful tone of voice. “No, I’m not trying to break up with you. Now, you might want to break up with me after what I have to say thought.”
Marshall walked back to the couch and sat down. Taking AJ’s hand in his. “I doubt that. I’m in love with you Alexander James McLean.”
Tears were threatening to spill out of AJ’s eyes at the tone of voice Marshall was using. Yeah, Marshall was a great boyfriend and AJ knew he loved him with all his heart, but he never really said it out loud. Taking a deep breath he started what he knew was going to be the end of their relationship. “Do you remember last month, we got in probably our biggest fight so far?”
Marshall nodded and waited for AJ to continue.
“Do you remember what it was about?”
“You were mad at me for not wanting to talk. That our communication skills needed to be worked on.” Said Marshall rubbing the palm of AJ’s hand for support.
AJ nodded. “Yeah, that was part of it. But do you remember what I wanted to talk to you about?” Yeah he knew he was just delaying the enviable. But he wanted Marshall to say it himself.
Marshall thought for a moment. “Do you mean that baby shit?”
Well, the real Marshall was back that was for sure. ‘Why couldn’t the sentimental Em, stay around for a few more minutes. AJ asked himself. Taking a deep breath again and trying to keep his composure he started again. “Yes, I mean that baby STUFF.”
“Come, on Alex, just say whatever your thinking. I can already tell by the way you are scared, that it’s not something I’m going to like. So, quit beating around the fucking bush, and just spit it out.”
AJ thought about this for a moment, and agreed. “It worked and I’m pregnant.” He said closing his eyes tightly and hiding his face expecting to feel something hit his head. But when nothing happened he looked up to see Marshall looking at him with no _expression on his face. That was worse then he had expected. Normally he could read his expressions, not being able to was terrible. “Please tell me what you’re thinking. Yell at me, do something. Just don’t sit there looking at me like that.” Whispered AJ with tears already streaming down his cheeks.
“What do you expect me to say, Jay?” Asked Marshall getting up off the couch, walking towards the large window that looked out at the front of the house. He could see Hailie and one of the neighbor girls playing in the driveway with their dolls. Yeah, he already had a daughter. Having the kids wasn’t the problem here. But, he was having fucking kids with AJ, another MAN!”
AJ was crying freely now. Balling actually. He hated this so much. “Marshall please.” He pleaded.
Marshall turned around with tears in his own eyes. The look on his boyfriend’s face was heartbreaking. He quickly walked back to the couch and sat down, putting his arm around AJ. This wasn’t a time to be a jackass. It wouldn’t do any good to yell or be mean. He had to be there for AJ, to figure out what the hell was going on. “Don’t cry baby. Please, you know I can’t stand to see you crying.” He whispered in his ear.
AJ sniffed and looked up into Marshall’s loving eyes. “You’re not mad at me?”
Marshall pulled away to look at AJ. “I’m not mad really. Mostly confused. Why did you do this Alex?”
“I wanted a baby.”
Marshall laughed. “Well, that’s a given. You must really want this huh?”
AJ nodded. “More then anything in the world. You already have Hai; I just wanted to know what it was like to have a child. To have YOUR child.”
“Ok, so let me get this straight. You have been talking those little pills for a month now, and they made it so you could get pregnant?”
AJ sighed and nodded again. “At least I think I am. I have all the classic symptoms. I mean, don’t you remember when Leigh was a few months pregnant. She, was in the bathroom all the time.”
“You’ve been that sick?”
“No, not really. I mean I’m only a little over a month pregnant.”
“AJ, I’m still a little confused. I know I wasn’t there when you got all this information, but how in the world is this even possible?” Asked Marshall.
AJ got up off the couch and walked over to the bookcase, grabbing a file folder. “Why, don’t I show you the exact same thing Doctor Clark showed me.” He said sitting back down next to Marshall.
~~~~~@~~~~~
Almost three hours later Marshall and AJ were still sitting on the couch in each other’s arms. They had just spent all that time reviewing all the information in the file. Marshall was surprised but all the stuff actually made since. From what was in the file he was surprised that only one doctor in country was trying this stuff. It actually seemed really simple. Marshall smiled and kissed the top of AJ’s head, before looking back down at the paper they were looking at. “So, those pills you have been taking, haven’t just been making it possible for you to get pregnant, but they have been making a space inside of you where they baby is growing?”
AJ nodded.
“You haven’t felt this? I mean if my internal organs were moving around, I think I would have been totally grossed out or something.” Asked Marshall slightly moving around in his seat at the sound of it all.
AJ couldn’t help but laugh. “The doctor explained it kind of like the earth moving. The earth moves all the time, but we don’t feel it. The same goes for all of this stuff. It’s moving so slowly that I don’t feel it. Its not like I’m sitting down and all of a sudden my bladder moves, or my other organs move. It doesn’t work like that.” Explained AJ.
“Did Doctor Clark tell you what you are supposed to do if this did happen? I mean, you would be the first man to have a baby right?” Asked Marshall stating his biggest fear. The thing he hated the most was the thought of all the scientists and media poking and prodding the love of his life. And even after the baby was born, they wouldn’t get any peace and quiet. Hell, they thought their life was bad now.
“There are five other couples that are part of the program. Two of them started before I did, and the other three were actually starting the medication around the same time as me. Up until this point I’m not sure if any of them have actually gotten results from taking it though.”
“Umm, Alex I have a strange question.”
AJ laughed. “What would that be Marsh?”
“Can you still…um…you know…could you get somebody pregnant too?”
At first AJ didn’t get the question. But then he understood. “I’m still just as much of a man as you are baby. Even though I’m putting more estrogen in my body then I would normally have, its not enough to cause any life altering damages. If I ever wanted to go out and get somebody pregnant, male of female I could. Now, I don’t think I could while I’m pregnant. Because from what I’ve read, I’m going to have to be taking three times the amount of estrogen while I’m pregnant that I’m taking now. Which, is supposed to cause some problems.” Said AJ quietly. He knew Marshall wasn’t going to like the sound of that last part. Marshall was always very protective of him, and hated anything or anyone that hurt his beloved Alex.
“NO!” Said Marshall shaking his head violently.
“What do you mean no?”
“I don’t want you taking something like that. I don’t need you turning into a fucking girl! If I wanted to date a girl, I wouldn’t be gay!” Exclaimed Marshall, getting flustered.
AJ looked at Marshall in shock. “When did I say I would be turning into a girl? I never fucking said that!” He yelled, too getting annoyed at the whole situation.
“You just said you would be taking like four times more estrogen then a normal man would have. So, if that doesn’t mean you’re turning into a girl, then please explain to me.”
“Marshall, taking the medication I need to take for this to work, will make my estrogen levels go to around 70…the levels for a normal female is around 100.(AN: I have no clue about what a normal estrogen level is, so oh well LOL) So to be a girl I would have to be taking that much more. Plus I will have more testosterone then normal women. So believe me I’m still going to be a guy.” Said AJ trying to reassure Marshall.
Marshall sighed and looked down at the ground. “I’m sorry, I’m totally loosing it here. This is just a lot to take in all at once ya know.”
AJ smiled up at Marshall with only love in his eyes. “You know Marsh, I still don’t know that I am pregnant. I could easily just have the stomach flu or something.”
“How can we find out?”
AJ looked back down at the papers in his hands. “It says here that I can just take a normal drug store, home test and it should work fine.”
Marshall was up off the couch in a flash. “Well, what are we waiting for?”
AJ shook his head and laughed. This was going way better then he had expected it too. “Hold it right their buddy!”
Marshall stopped pulling a sweatshirt over his head. “Wdknlsg?”
AJ laughed again. “Why, don’t you get the sweatshirt totally on and then I will ask you again.”
Marshall did what he was told and got the piece of clothing all the way on. “What?” He asked again.
“I was just going to say that, I don’t know about you, but wouldn’t it look a little odd, if two men go down to the drug store to pick out pregnancy tests? Not to mention two celebrities who are supposed to hate each other?” Asked AJ
Marshall thought about this for a second. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I’ll take Hai instead.” Said Marshall running out of the house.
AJ could hear Marshall yelling for Hailie to get her butt in the car, and a few second later the car leaving the driveway.
~~~~~@~~~~~
“Daddy, what are we looking for?” Asked Hailie as she followed her father into the drug store.
“Uhh, something for Uncle Alex.”
Hailie looked at her dad strangely but let it go. “Can I go look at the toys?”
“Sure, baby. I’m going to be right down here if you need me.” Said Marshall pointing down the aisle.
“Ok, daddy.” She said running down the aisle she knew the toys were on.
Marshall sighed in relief once Hailie was gone. At this moment he had no idea why he brought her in the first place. Walking down the aisle he thanked God that nobody else was down the embarrassing aisle. “This is a aisle I never thought I would be walking down again.” He said to himself as he walked passed the tampons and yeast infection creams. Finally at the end of the aisle was what he was looking for. “Isn’t it a little ironic that they put these things next to the pregnancy tests?” He said to himself putting the box of condoms back on the shelf.
“Daddy? What are you looking at?”
Marshall turned around to see Hailie standing behind him. “I thought you were looking at the toys?”
“I did, but they didn’t have anything good here. I got bored.” She said picking up the same box of condoms she saw her dad holding.
“Hai, don’t touch that.” Said Marshall getting slightly annoyed.
Hailie obeyed and put the box down. “Daddy, I want to go home.” She said crossing her arms and pouting.
Marshall groaned and looked back down at he pregnancy test boxes. ‘First response, ATP, Walgreen’s brand? What the heck is the difference?’ He thought to himself trying to figure out which one to buy.
“Daddy! Just take this one!” Exclaimed Hailie picking up the First response test and walking down the aisle.
“Hai!” He yelled running after his daughter down the aisle.
~~~~~@~~~~~
AJ was sitting in the family room watching TV when Marshall and Hailie came home.
“ALEX! Where are you” called Marshall.
“In watching TV!” AJ called back.
Marshall walked into the family room with an _expression that was hard to read on his face.
“You ok baby?” Asked AJ looking up at his boyfriend.
“Do you have any idea what I just went through!”
AJ tried to hide the smile on his face. “What happened?”
Marshall flopped down on the couch and looked up at the ceiling. “First, I had to walk down the aisle only women should be down. Then I couldn’t figure out which one of the stupid things to buy. Then if I thought it couldn’t get any worse, Hailie came down to find me and she was the one that picked the test out! My six year old daughter picked out a pregnancy test!”
AJ couldn’t hold in his laughter anymore and started laughing so hard he was sure his stomach was going to explode. “Do you have any idea how stupid you just sounded?”
Marshall glared at AJ and pouted. “I’m not stupid.”
AJ laughed again. “I never said you were stupid Marsh, just you freak out about stupid things. Now, you did get the test right?”
Marshall nodded and held up the bag in his hands.
“Well, then lets go do this shit.” Said AJ getting up off the couch and running up the stairs.
~~~~~@~~~~~
“Ok, read me the instructions?” Said AJ sitting on the toilet seat holding the foil covered sick in his hands.
“Why do I have to read them? I wasn’t even home with Kim did this.” Said Marshall standing in front of AJ.
“Well, there’s a first time for everything. Plus its hard to read and do what it says all at the same time.” Said AJ. “So come on read them.” He said pointing to the slip of paper in Marshall’s hand.
“Alright fine.” He looked down and began reading. “Remove sick from wrapper, but only right before you are about to use it.”
“So that means I don’t open it yet right? I mean I should wait until you tell me what to do first.”
Marshall shrugged. “Sounds good to me.”
“Ok what’s next?”
“Pee on the stick.”
“That’s what it says? The instructions say to pee on the stick?” AJ asked.
“Well, it actually says, stick the tip of the stick under you’re urine flow for at least five seconds. But I thought it made more sense to just say pee on the stick.”
AJ shook his head and laughed. “You are too much ya know that. So, is there anything else after I pee on the stick?”
“Wait for three to five minutes for results.” Read Marshall.
AJ looked down at the box sitting on the counter. “So, if I’m pregnant a line will show up in each window, and if I’m not then only one line will show up?”
“If that’s what it says, then yeah.” Said Marshall shrugging.
“You’re a lot of help.” Said AJ smacking Marshall’s arm playfully.
“Why don’t we just get this done.” Said Marshall getting ready to leave the bathroom.
“Wait! Don’t leave.”
“You’re going to the bathroom.”
AJ unwrapped the stick and began to unbutton his pants. “Its not like you haven’t seen it before.”
Marshall shook his head and went to sit on the bathtub. “Alright, lets do this.”
“I can’t believe I’m actually doing this.” Said AJ as he peed on the stick.
“You and me both. I’m sitting here looking at your cock, and no I’m not getting any thing out of it.”
AJ glared at Marshall but saw the look in his boyfriend’s eyes and knew he was joking. “So, this thing has been peed on what do I do know?”
Marshall looked back down at the directions. “Put the cap back on the end of the stick and sit and wait.”
AJ did what he was told and pulled his pants back up. “I hate waiting.” He said sitting back down on the toilet.
“Could be worse I suppose. I’m going to set my watch so we will know when it’s done.”
“Yeah I remember my mom saying something about these things taking like a half an hour or something at first. I think I would die, if I had to wait that long.”
“Me too. So is it doing anything?” Asked Marshall looking towards the counter but not being able to see anything.
AJ looked but shook his head. “It’s only been a few second Marsh.”
Marshall sighed and looked around the room in nervousness. “I never thought I would be doing this again. I mean as soon as I admitted to myself that I was gay, I never thought I would be getting anybody pregnant.”
“I never thought I would have kids at all. I can still see the sadness in my mom’s face when I told her. She wasn’t mad that I was gay, but mad that she was never going to be a grandma.” AJ smiled at the thought. “She is going to be really surprised.”
“Oh, I bet she will be. I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I think I might even tell my own mother about this. It would sure cause her to shit her pants.”
AJ glared at Marshall. “You’re so mean.”
“I’m not mean….”
Marshall was interrupted by the sound of the watch alarm going off. “It’s done.”
“Yeah I know, but I’m afraid to look. You look at it.”
“I’m not going to look at it, you look at it.”
“Daddy?” Came Hailie’s voice though the bathroom door. “Are ya in there?”
“We’ll have her look at it.” Said AJ standing up holding the test upside down in his hand so he wouldn’t be able to see the results.
“You are not going to have my six year old daughter read that!”
“Oh you bet I am.” Said AJ opening the door. “Hai can you do me a favor?”
“Sure.” Said the small girl sitting down on the bed.
“Can you look at this and tell me what you see?” Said AJ handing the stick to Hailie.
“What is this?”
“Don’t worry about what it is. Just tell me how many pink lines you see.”
Marshall stood in the bathroom doorway shaking his head. “This is probably the craziest sight I’ve ever seen.”
“Shut up Marshall.” Said AJ looking back at the girl. “What’s it say Hai?”
“There are two lines, can I go now?” She said getting up off the bed.
AJ looked at Marshall in shock. Yeah, he knew this is what was going to happen, but when it actually did he was still completely shocked.
“Uncle AJ, can I go now?”
AJ nodded but didn’t take his eyes off Marshall’s.
As soon as Hailie was out of the room Marshall ran over to AJ wrapping his arms around his waist and swinging him around. “We’re going to have a baby!” |
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