Sorry I didn't get to stay.
To laugh and run and play.
To be there by your side.
I'm sorry that I had to die.
God sent me down to be with you,
to make your loving heart anew.
To help you look up and see
both God and little me.
Mommy, I wish I could stay.
Just like I heard you pray.
But, all the angels did cry
when they told little me goodbye.
God didn't take me cause He's mad.
He didn't send me to make you sad.
But to give us both a chace to be
a love so precious...don't you see?
Up here no trouble do I see
and the pretty angels sing to me.
The streets of gold is where I play.
You'll come here too, Mommy, someday.
Until the day you join me here,
I'll love you Mommy, dear.
Each breeze you feel and see,
brings love and a kiss from me.
--Sandy Eeakle
You asked, "How are you doing?" As I told you, tears came to my eyes - you immediately begin to talk again, your eyes looked away from me, your speech picked up, and all the attention you had given me went away.
How am I doing? I do better when people will listen to my response, even though I may shed a tear or two - for I so want their attention; but to be ignored because I have in me pain which is indescribable to anyone who has not been there - I hurt and feel angry. So when you look away, I am again alone with it.
Really, tears are not a bad sign, you know! They're Nature's way of helping me to heal. They relieve some of the stress of sadness. I know you fear that asking how I'm doing brought this sadness to me.
No you are wrong - the memory of my son's death will always be with me, only a thought away.
It's just that my tears make my pain more visible to you - but you did not give me the pain - it's just there.
When I cry, could it be that you feel helpless? You're not, you know. When I feel your permission to allow my tears to flow, you've helped me more than you can know. You need not verbalize your support of my tears - your silence as I cry is my key - do not fear.
Your listening with your heart to "How are you doing?" helps relieve the pain, because once I allow the tears to come and go, I feel lighter. Talking to you releases things I've been wanting to say aloud, and then there's space for a touch of joy in my life.
Honest - when I tear up and cry, that doesn't mean I'll cry forever - maybe just a minute or two - then I'll wipe the tears away, and sometimes you'll even find I'm laughing at something funny ten minutes later.
When I hold back my tears, my throat grows tight, my chest aches and my stomach begins to knot up - because I'm trying to protect you from my tears. Then we both jurt - me because I've kept the pain inside and it's a shield against our closeness, and then you hurt because suddenly, we are distant.
Please take my hand - and I promise not to cry forever - (it's physically impossible you know.)
When you see me through my tears - then we can be close again.
--by Kelly Osmont in memory of her son Aaron.
You don't know how I feel
don't tell me that you do.
There's just one way to know
have you lost a child, too?
"You can have another."
Must I hear this each day?
Each person is unique,
they cannot be replaced.
Don't say it was "God's will"
that's not the God I know.
Would God on purpose break my heart
then watch as my tears flow?
"You have an Angel in Heaven
a precoius child above."
But tell me, to whom here on Eearth
shall I give my love?
"Aren't you better yet?"
Is that what I heard you say?
No! A part of my heart aches.
I'll always feel some pain.
You think that silence is kind
but it hurts me even more.
I want to talk about my child
who has gone through death's door.
Don't say these things to me
although you do mean well.
They do not take my pain away
I must go through this hell.
I will get better slow and sure
and it helps to have you near.
But a simple, "I'm sorry your child died"
is all I need to hear.
SIDS is a HORROR
SIDS is a SURPRISE
SIDS is a COWARD
You can't look in it's eyes
It sneaks in the night
It makes you wake up in a fright
It's not a DREAM
It makes you CRY
It makes you SCREAM
It makes you want to DIE
SIDS is a HORROR
SIDS is a SURPRISE
It makes you say the forever GOODBYE
SIDS is a COWARD it sleeps in disguise
It creeps in the night and waters your eyes
It steals away your PRECIOUS HEAVENLY SURPRISE
I wish that you would just open your eyes
Sadness and emptiness will forever be locked inside
Oh, please just open your eyes
Goodness and mercy has to arise
I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART
Please look away
Oh what can I do
Oh what can I say
All is lost and in a DISARRAY
HELPLESS AND POWERLESS I say GOODBYE
As I look in SADNESS
She floats AWAY
