I Shall Be Strong

Title: I Shall Be Strong (1/1)
Author: LJ (ljensen1@gladstone.uoregon.edu)
Rating: PG (but depressing)
Spoilers: "The Body" (takes place about where Episodes 17 and 18 will probably fit in)
Author's Notes: I'm still depressed from "The Body" and thus have been unable to write the next part of my current story "Mum". I was playing with two images from "Fool for Love" and managed to stick them together halfway decently. Upon doing so, this popped into my mind. You can find the image I created here: http://www.oocities.org/brigidharper/gilesjoyce1.jpg. Also, I don't think I've ever written from the male perspective (being female myself), so feel free to pick apart every word - feedback of any form would be appreciated.
Distribution: My site, http://www.oocities.org/brigidharper/index.html only.

*********
I Shall Be Strong
*********

I shall be strong.

I must be strong.

I must not show them that my heart has been torn in two.

Is it my duty to always bury the women I love before they truly know that they have captured my heart?

//Rupert-//

I must not allow my tears to show.

//-I know it's presumptuous of me to ask-//

Did she not know I would do anything to keep these children safe?

//-but if something should happen-//

Did she not know that she needn't even ask?

//-if I don't make it-//

I shall be strong.

//-or if there's something after-//

I must be strong.

//-already talked to her, but she'll need you-//

Footsteps behind me in the grass.

//-need you even more than her real father, both of the girls will-//

Two sets, light and feminine.

//-surely you know that you're her father now, all but in name and blood-//

Both are heavy with grief.

//-especially if he never even calls - you know by now how he can be-//

I lower my hand to the cool stone before me-

//-will you take care of my girls, Rupert?//

-and I trace the hewn letters.

//-can be friends, can't we? I don't blame you anymore-//

A hand comes to rest on each of my shoulders.

//Thank you, Rupert.//

I lower my head in defeat as the tears force themselves out into the world.

//-know they're in good hands with you, that you love them as if they were your own-//

At their mother's grave I weep and mourn the love from her that I will never know.

I remind myself: for their sake, if nothing else, I shall be strong.

I may yet cry, I may yet give into this demon, grief, but I shall be strong.

*******
END
*******