Nick was in complete shock when I told him about just how involved Adam was in all of this. He was just as angry as he was confussed, not that I didn't know the feeling. It was like a been there done that situation. AJ and Howie were in there with him right now. Kevin couldn't seem to face him, probably because he felt guilty about being the only one that thought that Nick was really dead.
I looked over at him. He was with Kristin but he wasn't saying anything. There was guilt in him and I could tell. Better go talk to him, I thought and walked over to him.
"Kev, you alright?" I asked with a lack of a better way to start a conversation.
"Yeah," he said looking over at me.
"You sure? I asked hoping that he would confess to me.
"I'm fine," he said to me. Without knowing whatelse to do, I just walked away, I went to go sit with Caitlin. I put her hand on her shoulder.
"I told you that everything would be alright," I said to her.
"I know, I just can't believe how bad he looks, officer Davis said that he would look back, I just didn't imagine that it would be that bad."
"It's going to get better Caitlin. We've already gotten through the worst of it. Nick is going to heal and he needs us to be there for him."
"I know Brian but it just hurts to look at him, he went through so much while he was gone."
"Just remember time heals all wonds. Be there for him and help him get better emotionally. The guys and I are going to be with the both of you every step of the way. You can always ask any of us for help," I told her. To be honest I knew that Nick would get better physically. Like I said, time heals all wonds. What worried me was his emotional and mental state.
"Thanks Brian," she said smiling at me. I could tell it was a forced smile, but I returned it to reassure her anyway. I was going to be there for the both of them. I turn my head when I heard AJ and Howie come out of Nicks room.
"They really fucked him up," AJ said, "I want to go back to that station and give them both a piece of my mind."
"AJ no. You can't do that. First of all, you'll be arrested and second it won't solve anything," I told him with as serious a voice that I could manage at that point. I didn't feel like getting mad at anyone, but I also didn't want AJ to make things worse.
"Kev," Howie said seconds later, "Nick asked where you were and when you were coming in." He didn't say anything. I could still see the guilt in his eyes.
"I'll go with you," I said. He looked at me and stood up, I smiled and we both headed into Nicks room.
"Hey big bro," Nick said softly, "what took you so long?"
"Nothing, I just couldn't bring myself into coming in here," he admitted as I remained silent and listened to them.
"I know it looks bad, but don't worry about that," Nick said.
"No, it's not about the brusies," Kevin interupted.
"Then what is it about Kev?" Nick asked worried. I turned to face Kevin to see what was going to happen. There was a really long pause. Neither of them said anything. Nick just continued to wait for Kev's responce and so was I. I just wanted to hear him admit that he felt guilty. When he did that, we could handle it, but until then, we were all powerless.
"While you were gone....," he finally began and then paused to really look at Nick, he was just listening to what Kev was saying, "I honestly didn't think that you were going to be coming back," I watched as Kevin stopped, and it was like he hated himself for doing that. "I had even began to talk everyone into having a memorial until we found your body. I was taking away everyones hope. I'm sorry Nick."
"Don't be," Nick said after looking at Kevin and then glancing over to me, "I didn't think I was coming back either. I had written a letter, and that's why it's this bad. The guy came after me when he saw that I was trying to get help."
"Why didn't you fight back?" Kevin asked.
"For starters, he had a god damn gun. That and he knew how to handle things. I wasn't sure what to do to get myself out of there. He had prevented like everything I could think of. Except writting a letter. I didn't know how I was going to get it where it could help me, but it was worth having just incase I did find away. He came back just as I was finishing the letter. He exploded and attacked me. I didn't know what to do so I did fight back. Just, I didn't get very far. When I finally got a safe distance, he pulled his gun out on me and said," Nick explained as tears began to roll down his cheeks, "that I was lucky that he wasn't finished yet. I don't know what he meant by that, I just knew that I shouldn't fuck with him anymore. So I just stayed where I was. I didn't move at all and that's where I was when the ambulance came to get me. When the ambulance got there, I didn't think that I was going to make it. I was bleeding really badly and I had, at one point, actually throwing up blood. Shit when they got there, I was like they should have just called the morgue by that point."
"You proved just how tough you really are," Kevin told him.
"And just how tough is that? I'm the one laying in a hospital bed. Those guys don't have as much as a scrape anywhere," Nick yelled becoming more upset.
"You survived, that was all you needed to do to prove how tough you are. Those guys are the ones that hid behind lies. They are the ones that were crazy enough to even think about doing this. That's not what being tough is Nick. Being tough is making it through something that seems almost impossible. That's exactly what you did Nick," Kevin said trying to keep from yelling. He was angry and I could tell but wasn't sure why.
"Kev," I said to my cousin, "relax. I don't know what's got you all wound up like this, but you need to get over it. You getting angry isn't going to help."
"I know," he said leaving the room. I got up to run after him.
"Brian wait," Nick said stopping me in my tracks.
"Yeah Nick?"
"Let him get his mind clear. Then talk to him alright?"
"Okay," I said to him, "I'm just going to leave and let you get some rest alright buddy?"
"Yeah man," Nick said as I walked from his room.
Chapter 19
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