Jen opened her eyes awaking from an uneasy sleep. Her dreams had been filled with images of her and Nicks relationship which haunted her. She wasn't completely sure why she had let them talk her into letting Nick stay there, but then again, she wasn't sure about a lot of things lately. There was a point in time when she might have given Nick a piece of her mind and then sent him on his way. It shocked and unnerved Jen to see that AJ was doing all this. He was the one that encouraged her to do everything that she had done. The kids are probably what made him change his mind.
AJ's sudden change of heart was probably motivated by good. He knew it would be better if Anthonys real father was around. That was the best thing for Anthony and Jen knew it. Jen looked over at AJ who was sound asleep. She smiled at him trying to convince herself that she was doing that right thing.
She knew that AJ would never do anything to hurt her or Anthony, but sitll in the back of Jens mind, there was still a slight concern for her safety. She wasn't sure if Nick would snap one day and hurt her. That would be a major fear that would always follow her as long as Nick was around.
Jen decided that maybe she should get a drink. She sighed as she climbed out of the bed. As Jen headed down the stairs, she saw that the kitchen light was on. When she walked into the kitchen, she saw Nick.
"Hi," Nick said.
"Hi," Jen replied softly.
"Couldn't sleep either?" Nick asked.
"Not really," Jen said grabbing a cup from the cabinent and tried to decide what she wanted to drink.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she said pouring some iced tea into her glass.
"It's about me isn't it?" Nick asked looking at Jen.
"Truthfully? Yeah, it is," Jen admitted.
"Look, I'm sorry for everything that happened. I promise that I will never touch you again. Don't worry about that."
"Nick, try looking at this from my shoes. How would you feel knowing that the person that caused you so much pain was sleeping in the same room?"
"I guess it would bother me."
"Yeah and this bothers me a lot Nick. As a matter of fact, it scares me too because I don't know what you're gonna do and I hate it."
"You don't have to be scared. I promise I won't do anything to hurt you or Anthony. I promise you, I've changed."
"Nick, I can't seem to believe that. I want to, for Anthonys sake, but I just can't. Something won't let me."
"You're scared and I understand that. My guess is, that's what's keeping you from believing me, not that I can blame you actually."
"I loved you Nick, I don't know why, but I did. Can you tell me why you did what you did to me?"
"Stupidity mainly, anger partly."
"Did you love me at all?" Jen asked looking Nick in the eyes. He just sat there looking back at her blankly.
"No," he said after awhile. Jen felt her heart break.
"Damn it, then why did you stay with me so long?" she yelled.
"I don't know."
"Was I just fucking sex? I can't believe this shit. What the hell is wrong with you? How could you lie to me as long as you did?"
"Jen look, I'm sorry. I know that was the worst thing to do. I'm sorry I hurt you, but we have a son and we need to work together."
"Yeah," she said not wanting to believe what she was just told.
"I didn't mean to hurt you just now," Nick said.
"Yeah, I know I asked, you were truthful," Jen said near tears.
"Please don't cry. AJ loves you, I know he does. He's not a loser like me. He'll be there for you, he'll be everything I wasn't." Jen let a tear roll down her cheek. Nick closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"Nick you put me through so much, I want you to know that. I also want you to know that the first time you mess up, you're gone."
"Alright, I understand."
"Okay, I'm going to bed," Jen said heading up stairs. When she got up there, she saw that AJ wasn't in bed. She smiled when she saw him come out of the bathroom.
"Hi," she said.
"Hey baby, where were you?" AJ asked.
"In the kitchen getting something to drink."
"Oh alright," he said laying back down.
"Nick was down there."
"Oh really?" AJ asked sitting back up.
"Yeah and I told him that it scares me to have him living here and how much he hurt me."
"How'd he take it?"
"He promised that he changed. I don't really know about that though."
"Why's that?"
"I don't know, I just don't."
"Well, just remember he won't do anything."
"Why? Becuase you're around?" Jen asked and went to lay in the bed, next to AJ.
"Yes, exactly," he said wrapping his arms Jen.
"What made you change your mind about you attitude towards Nick?"
"I thought it would be the right thing to do. I just wanted to do what was best for everyone."
"Who's idea was it to have Nick stay here?"
"Mine, because I sorta knew what things Nick was going through. I knew what it was like to have to deal with a serious problem. Everyone desirves a second chance," AJ said.
"So you think he's better now?"
"Yes, otherwise I would never have asked you to let Nick stay."
"Alright, I trust you. But if Nick messes up once, he's gone. I'm not going to risk getting hurt again."
"I don't blame you for feelin' like that, but if he messes up, he'll most definately be gone. Okay? Now go to bed."
Chapter 12