Jen sat in the rocking chair in Anthonys room, holding him lovingly in her arms. She never wanted to let him go again. Jen knew in her heart that she wasn't ready to have another baby, but it hurt to lose her second child in the way that she did. She also knew that it was hurting AJ too.
Jen had talked to Brian so she could find out what exactly happened to Nick. It turns out that he was in a pretty bad car acident and was seriously hurt. They didn't know if he was going to survive. At ths point, Jen hated Nick, but she didn't want this to happen to him.
Jen wasn't really sure how to feel. Nick had caused her so much pain and now he was suffering like she had, but yet she felt guilty. Then again, he was paying the consequences of his own stupid decision. Not only that but he was the reason that Jen had lost her baby.
"AJ," Jen called. Moments later, AJ showed up at the door with a puzzled look on his face.
"What's up?" AJ asked.
"What do you think about what happened to Nick?"
"I don't know, but this is something that he brought on himself. He did it, but I guess I shouldn't have thrown him out."
"Do you think he desirved it?"
"No one desirves this, no matter what."
"Have you talked to any of the guys?"
"No, but I really should."
"Do you think Nick's going to die?"
"I don't know, we have to wait and see what happens."
"Do you want him to die?"
"No, because no matter how much I don't want him to dead. Why? Do you want him to die Jen?"
"Of course not. I just wanted to know what you thought."
"Jen, I know you're upset about the baby, but we can always have another if you want to. Like I told you at the hospital. We can plan the baby so that we can give it a wonderful life. That and so that we will know that I'm the father and not have any doubts."
"Thank you AJ, but I doubt that will happen anytime soon, I wasn't ready."
"That's alright, I understand."
"Thank you," Jen said and smiled, "You really wanted this baby didn't you?"
"Yeah, I did, but the funny thing is, I never wanted a kid until I came so close to having one. It's a little weird really."
"Not really. When I found out that I was going to have Anthony, I was scared, but the first time I held him, I knew everything was going to be alright. I loved him and I knew he would be the best son. I want him and love him more with everyday that goes by."
"I can tell, you really are a great mother."
"Thanks, and I think you'll be an amazing father when the time comes."
"You think so?"
"Of course. I mean look what you've done for me and Anthony. No one has showed us as much love and compassion than you have."
"I only did what I thought was right."
"Well, a lot of people wouldn't have done that. You were the only one that did."
"Glad to help. I really like you so I want things to work out for us."
"Me too, but what about Anthony? How are we going to explain his father to him? What do we say?"
"I don't know, but when the time comes, we'll give him an appropriate explanation." Jen nodded in agreement. AJ sighed when he heard the door bell and went down stairs to get it.
"AJ," Howie said when he opened the door, "how are you feeling?"
"Tired, haven't slept much."
"Oh."
"Come inside," AJ said.
"How's Jen?" Howie asked walking into the house and into the living room behind AJ.
"Pretty upset, she's stayed really close to Anthony a lot lately."
"Yeah, I understand. Why didn't you want to come up and see us when Brian told you about Nick?"
"Because you know what, he put Jen through a lot and me too because I wanted this kid badly. Being so close to having a baby, made me realize that I do want a kid and Nick took that away from me. I just don't feel like going to see him."
"Did you want this to happen?"
"No, of course not."
"Okay then, please just come by. I know you really don't want to, but he slipped into a coma this morning and maybe having you there would help. You know, maybe he would feel as if he had been forgiven."
"Why would that help? Why would I forgive him? He was pissed at me and Jen, what would having us there do? It would just make things worse."
"Alright, you got a point."
"I'm not trying to be an ass, just avoid more problems."
"Yeah, I didn't think of that, I gotta go now, I'll see you later," Howie said leaving the house.
Chapter 18