Written by: Amanda

Kevin is sitting backstage in their dressing room, he’s old, gray, wrinkled, and hasn’t moved in three hours. Nick thinks Kev’s dead. He approaches Brian, who’s watching a basketball game featuring - well, he thinks it’s the Kentucky Wildcats, but he’s so old, he doesn’t realize that it’s the Louisville Cardinals. “Brian?” Nick asks, taking a seat beside his friend.

Brian turns to his friend, “Which one are you, again?”

Nick smiles, hoping his friend is joking. “Are you serious, Brian?”

Brian begins laughing, then coughing. Nick smacks him on his back, hoping he’ll cough it up. “Dang Nick, you were always the joker, I thought you’d find it funny.”

“Well, Howie’s senile, AJ’s, well, he’s AJ, and Kevin hasn’t moved in hours...we’re all going to Hell, I thought maybe you were losing your memory.”

“That’ll never happen,” Brian comments

“Brian,” Nick begins, honesty flowing through his old-man voice. “You’ve been watching the Cardinals...they’re not the Wildcats, buddy.”

“THAT’S why they’re not wearing blue and white...”

Nick nods “Anyway...uh, I think Kev’s dead.”

“Did you double check this time?” Brian asks, pushing his glasses back up on his nose.

“Last time I really thought he was dead! I swear!”

“I know, but what was really bad was that Kevin saw it on the news that he was dead. He almost had a heart attack.”

“It was kinda funny though.”

Brian shakes his head in disagreement. “It was not funny.”

“Well, can you go check and see if you’re cousin’s dead this time?”

Brian grabs his cane (same one from ‘Yes I Will’) and hobbles over to his cousin. “Kevin?”

Kevin’s head turns slightly, “Yes cousin Brian?”

“Nick said you haven’t moved in three hours...”

“I was watching the bluegrass grow.”
,br> “We’re not in Kentucky,” Nick comments.

Kevin’s eyebrows furrow, “It doesn’t matter.”

“And there are no windows in the dressing room...” Nick adds.

“It doesn’t matter.” Kevin repeats.

“What time are we going on tonight?” Brian asks Kevin.

“4:30. My bedtime is at 8:00...”

“Should we rehearse the wheel chair, cane, and coffin routines?” Brian asks.

“No, we’ll do fine.”

Howie and AJ walk into the room. AJ’s completely bald, and Howie’s hair is down his back. It’s gray, and looks like it needs to be brushed. “Howie doing guys?”

AJ pulls the cigar out of his mouth and smiles - false teeth. He’s still wearing sun glasses, and he’s got on a fuzzy, leopard cowboy hat to cover up his baldness. “Fans are chanting our name right now.”

“How do you know?” Nick asks.

“I’m wearing Howie’s hearing aids.”

“I thought I was wearing Howie’s hearing aids!” Nick questions.

Kevin snickers to himself, “I’m wearing Howie’s false teeth.”

Brian stares, confused. “Kevin...Howie doesn’t wear false teeth.”

They all look at Kevin, looks of disgust on their faces.
Nick laughs to himself, “Kevin doesn’t even wear false teeth...”

That night - or afternoon rather, during the show, the Boys (or old men?) sing all their best hits - a collection from all 34 albums they’ve released. The lights have to be turned on, or else they’ll fall asleep. They can’t dance much. They do three routines - the “chair routine” from ‘As Long As You Love Me’ is replaced by the WHEELchair routine; they still do a cane routine to ‘Yes I Will’, and they do a coffin routine to ‘Everybody’. Hip replacement surgery, knee surgery, brain surgery, plastic surgery, and Lasik surgery has prevented them from dancing their pants off. Of course, Nick still insists on headbanging to slow songs (‘More Than That’; ‘I Want it That Way’) - even though it throws his back out every time.

The fans who were there from the start, are still there. Posters, banners, blow-up dolls, granny drawers, granny bras, false teeth, and silly string are seen everywhere - even some of those items thrown on stage.

They’ve still got it. They’re still the most famous “Boyband” on the face of the planet. Everyone loves them - men, women, children... Their audience is 10-90+.

And that’s 2050.