Owner/General Manager - Kenny Mac
Knows next to nothing about hockey, but that hasn't stopped him yet. Kenny Mac amassed his fortune on the internet selling the controversial vegetable product "Tomacco", a cross between tomatoes & cigarettes.
His goal for the Ken Stars is to build the most fearsome bunch of goons the RFPHL has ever seen. Oh yea, if his team can win a few, that's good too.

Head Coach - Richard Jeni
Known for a great stand-up routine, Jeni was the first and obvious choice to lead the K Stars onto the ice. His quick wit and verbal repartee has earned him numerous appearances on HBO. Funny, irreverent, and a little arrogant, Jeni's main contribution will be his biting insults and put-downs of the opposition during the national anthem. Oh, and he doesn't know much about hockey, but he is from New York.

Head Trainer - Coach Chuck
A spindly lad from Sand Springs, Coach Chuck brings months of education and experience to his job. Author of the well-renown fitness book "ON YOUR BELLY!!!", the Coach has brought an air of discipline, desire, and danger to the team. Boasting of a 99% success rate, Coach Chuck's only disappointment was a cocksure truck driver named Teddy Jack Eddy.
 

Equipment Manager - Chiana
A "Space Babe" of the first order, Chiana got the job of equipment manager not because of her knowledge of hockey (which is none). But, because she can steal anything, anytime, anywhere, including the heart of one tom servo, with whom she has been seen with lately.

Radio Announcer - Bob Hudna
One of the most experienced play by play men in the country, Bob "I Don't Believe it, Bill!!" Hudna has been signed for the next three seasons by the K Stars. He authored the best selling book, "I Don't Believe It, Bill!  One Man's Battle with Manic Depression." Tuning into the K Stars should be exciting with Bob on board.  Hopefully, he remembers to bring his medication.
 

Public Relations Staff - MST3K Crew
Fired from two "prestigious" cable networks, the Satellite of Love crew has found a home in Dallas with a newly built theatre and all the tacos they can eat.  Here's a breakdown of what each crewmember does.

- tom servo: Head Spokesman
- Crow T. Robot: Asst. Spokesman
- Gypsy: DC-3 Pilot
- Cambot: Feature Reporter & Photographer
- Magic Voice: Gossip Control & Official Whatsis.
- Mike Nelson: I...I...haven't a clue.