| Lost Max and Maria on Valentine's Day |
| Author: Minnie Rating: PG Fandom: Roswell Category: Max, Maria Disclaimer: I am not, nor have I ever been, Jason Katims, the WB, Melinda Metz. They own these characters, not me. No infringement intended. Notes: Please do not archive elsewhere without permission.Spoilers for Disturbing Behavior. A Valentine's Day fic challenge. To shadowgrl, buffster and *Maria*. Archive Date: 2/15/2001 Maria DeLuca sat on her living room couch, carelessly flipping TV channels on Valentine’s Day. As another sappy Valentine ad came on TV, she rolled her eyes. “It’s a conspiracy, that’s what it is. Hallmark just wants to rub in it!” she grumbled. Her mother entered the living room, all decked out in a floaty red dress. “Maria, honey, can you do my back?” Getting off the couch with a sigh, she walked towards her mother and hooked the clasp on her mother’s evening dress. “So, where are you and the sheriff off to tonight?” she asked her mother. Amy giggled like a teenager as she said, “I don’t know. Jim said it would be a surprise!” “Great,” she muttered under her breath. “My mother has a date on Valentine’s Day and I’m stuck at home watching stupid Valentine commercials!” “Awww, honey, I’m sure Michael will be here later,” her mother said in reassuring tones. “Not a chance. He’s doing the family thing with Laurie tonight. Said he wanted to spend more time with her,” Maria explained, a little piqued. “Well, I’m sure he’ll do something to make it up to you,” Amy continued. “Mom. The man thought Christmas was a croc, a marketing scam sponsored by greedy retailers. What makes you think he believes in Valentine’s Day?” Maria countered. “Well, he got you those lovely pearl earrings for Christmas, didn’t he? Maybe he’ll get you something special for today, too,” Amy reasoned. “Don’t hold your breath,” Maria muttered. “Anyway, I’m glad you have a date,” she remarked, with slightly jealous overtones. The doorbell rang once. “That’s Jim! Maria, could show him in? I’m not finished getting ready yet,” her mother asked. “Sure, why not? It’s not like there’s line of guys outside waiting to take me out,” Maria said resignedly. Maria went to the front door, plastered a smile on her face and said, “Hi, Sheriff, my mother …” She tailed off as she came face to face with Max. “Max!” Maria said in surprise. “What are you doing here? No, don’t tell me. There’s an alien crisis and you need my help. Max?” she babbled. Max looked slightly taken aback at Maria’s ramblings. “Uh, Maria, no. There’s no crisis.” “Oh,” Maria replied, a little deflated. She was feeling revved up, ready to handle anything. Anything but another round of sappy card commercials. “Well, what are you doing here then?” she asked Max. “Can I come in?” he asked quietly. “Oh, sure, come on in,” Maria invited. Max walked into the house and stood in the middle of her living room. He glanced around slightly, looking rather aimlessly at everything. “Max? You going to tell me why you’re here?” she questioned with a little smile. “Maria, was that Jim? Oh, hi, Max!” Amy greeted Max as she strolled into the living room, donning on a bracelet. “No, it’s Max,” Maria mentioned, pointing slightly to him. "Hello, Mrs. Deluca," Max greeted her. “It’s nice to see you again, Max! See, honey now you don't have to be alone tonight. Max is here. You will keep my daughter company, won't you? She's feeling a little down.” Amy gushed. "Mom!" Maria burst out, feeling a little mortified. Mercifully, the doorbell rang before Amy could get out another word to embarass Maria. “That’s Jim," Maria's mother announced, not waiting for Max's reply. "I’ll see you later, honey. Have fun, you two. Bye Max!” Amy said as she sailed off to meet Jim at the door. “Feeling a little down? What's wrong?" Max queried. "Nothing's wrong!" Maria screeched. "It's just if I have to watch one more Hallmark commercial, I will do something drastic like paint the television black. Anyway, what are you doing here, Max? You never said," Maria confronted Max again. “I thought. We could hang out,” her friend stammered a little sheepishly. "Hang out," Maria said with a slight question. “Max, you do know what today is, right?” Her brows arched up. “Yeah, It’s Wednesday,” Max replied matter of factly. “It’s Valentine’s Day, Max. Valentine's Day. Know what that means? Chocolates, red roses, dates with your significant other or whatever. Shouldn’t you be out with Liz or something?” Maria said with neglible shake of her head. “Um, I don't know where Liz is exactly. I think she might be with her family,” he explained a bit morosely. “And besides, I don’t really believe in Valentine's Day stuff,” Max added. Maria slanted her head off to the side and screeched, “Not believe in Valentine's Day?” as though she herself had not scoffed at the notion minutes earlier. “What is it with you aliens and holidays? What, is it some kind of alien objection to Earth-based holidays? First Christmas, now this?” “No. I just don’t believe in singling out one day above the rest to say that you love someone,” he explained simply. “So it’s more like a personal objection?” Maria hounded him. “Yeah, something like that,” Max clarified for her. “Okay. But please tell me you at least believe in the Easter bunny,” she said, her eyes twinkling. “Uh, Maria …” Max stammered again, trying gracefully to spit out a denial. “Max, how can you not believe in the Easter bunny? He’s cute! He’s bouncy! He’s got big ears! Like someone I know!” Maria whooshed out. Max reddened slightly at the reference to his much noted lobes. “I just wanted to come over and see if you weren't doing anything, maybe you and I could do something together. We haven’t done that lately,” he elaborated. “Yeah, those other stupid aliens kept getting in the way,” she quipped. Max merely smiled at her. “So, since you're not doing anything, do you want to get a bite to eat or something?" "Oh sure, rub it in, Max," Maria grated. "Sorry. So how about it?" he invited. “What the hell, lead on, McDuff!” Maria took him up on his offer. “Hey, we’re not going to the Crashdown, are we? I’m kinda burnt out on that,” she stated. Max quelled the suggestion that was on his lips upon hearing that remark. He was going to suggest the Crashdown. He hastily thought of other options. Senor Chows. No, too many reminders of Liz there. He wanted to have a nice, carefree evening with Maria. “How about the Taco Shack outside town? I haven’t been there in a while,” Max offered. The shack was a casual roadside diner, specializing in Mexican delicacies. “Ah, the place that guarantees to give you all sorts of gastronomic ailments. Well, I'm got my antacids so let’s go!” Maria trumpeted as she grabbed her purse and jacket. The two friends summarily hopped into Max’s waiting jeep and took off for dinner. Once there, Maria ordered two of the day’s specials: a taco platter complete with rice, beans and a small salad upon Max’s urging. When the orders were served, Maria groaned. The taco shells came in the form of a heart. “Geez, even if this place, I can’t escape VD!” she said, rolling her eyes. “VD?” Max blinked at that statement. “Valentine’s Day, Max! What did you think I was talking about?” she replied with a cheeky grin. "Uh, never mind," Max responded with his own grin, casting his eyes downward as he took a bite of his own taco. They finished their respective meals, peppering them with easy and friendly talk. When it came time for dessert, Maria declined to eat another bite. She sat and watched Max as he half-heartedly spooned a sticky and sweet concoction. Max was silent, seeming lost in thought. She knew that mood of his. She was familiar enough with it. During the summer when she and Max bonded, prolonged silences from always meant that a serious talk was coming. Deciding to bite the bullet and get down to the business of the 'serious talk', Maria asked “So, you want to talk about it?” “About what?” Max questioned. “About whatever it is that’s bothering you,” she prompted. “Nothing’s bothering me,” Max said solemnly. “Max, girlfriend, this is Maria you’re talking to. C’mon, spill,” she urged. “I don’t have anything to spill,” Max reiterated. “So you come over to my house on Valentine’s Day of all days, act like you don’t care that you're not spending it with Liz, diss the whole Valentine thing and invite me for some tacos because you just felt like hanging out with me?” “Yeah, pretty much,” Max agreed with her assessment. “Max, that’s. That's very sweet of you,” she smiled. “Thanks. And really, nothing’s wrong," he reiterated. "Uh-huh," she said with disbelief. "Maria, I didn't come here tonight because something's wrong and I wanted your advice or anything," Max stated. "Why not? Everyone seems to come to me with their problems and ask me for advice these days. I should open up a shop and charge people admission. Ten bucks an hour. Beats working at the Crashdown, you know?" she said saucily. "I just. I wanted to spend some time with you again. We used to do that a lot before. I missed that. So many things have happened,” he said seriously. “You can say that again. Michael has just been on this family kick lately. I can’t really blame him. And Liz! Liz has been …” Maria went off. “Maria, I really don’t want to talk about Liz or Michael right now. I just want to talk about …” Max interrupted her. “About what?” Maria wondered. “You. What’s going on with you?” Max queried, sounding quite serious. “Me? That's a switch! Let's see, what's going on with me? Oh, nothing much, just your normal everyday teenage stuff. Crossing state lines with my clueless guy and his relative, getting shot at, dealing with aliens. Stuff like that,” she glibly stated. Max smiled again. Somehow her snide answer didn’t surprise him. She usually hid serious matters under a coat of sarcasm. “I’m sorry,” Max replied. “I know you’ve been going through a rough time lately," he apologized. “Hey, things are rough all over. But they seem okay, for the moment,” Maria tacked on. “Yeah. I was thinking. All those times we talked before, I bent your ear about my problems. I wanted to thank you for listening. And return the favor,” he offered. “You want me to bend your ear? Which one?” Maria told him jokingly before falling silent. Max was really serious about his offer. She could see it in his eyes. Brushing past the humor, Maria sighed. Max wanted to listen, really listen. Perhaps it was time to unload the things that had been on her mind. She drew a little breath and let out, “I guess I’ve just been feeling kinda lost lately.” “Lost? How?” Max asked. “It’s like, I don’t really know who I am anymore. Like I’ve lost myself. I’ve been so busy trying to keep up with everything that I sometimes forget who I am, what I was before you, spaceboy, Tess and Isabel came along. I mean, lately I feel like I'm this thing, you know? This label. Liz and Alex’s wacky friend. Michael’s on and off girlfriend. Your pal. But I don’t know who I am, who this Maria is!” Once she started, Maria couldn’t stop the words from coming. She felt surprised at the flow, wondering how long she had kept them bottled up. “Who do you want her to be?” Max prodded. “I don’t know,” Maria dropped her head. “I’m not good at this soul-searching stuff. I'm better at telling people what to do,” she excused herself. “Maria, it’s okay,” Max said gently, trying to make her feel comfortable. “Just say whatever comes to mind.”” “You sure about that?” Maria, paused slightly. At Max's nod, she answered with a little strain, “I want to be this person girl who isn’t scared of anything, not strange aliens, relationships or her mother dating. I want to be normal. Go out to movies, on dates. Hang out with friends for no other reason than just to hang out, you know?” she explained fully. "LIke I used to," Maria muttered under her breath. “Maria, you are all of that already,” he told her emphatically. “Am I? Then why do I still feel so lost? Why does everything feel alien to me? I can't believe I said 'alien',” Maria rolled her eyes in self-deprecation. “Maria, what did you want to be when you were little?” Max skipped over another Maria's attempts at humor to get to the more serious roots. “Huh?” She mumbled at the question that came out of nowhere. “When you were little, what did you want to be?” Max put the question to her again. “What does that have to do with anything?” she asked, perplexed. “Just answer the question. Humor me,” Max responded. “Okay. A ballerina. I wanted to be a ballerina. Someone who wore a pink tutu and danced around in tiptoes,” she remarked. “Seriously?” Max raised in question. “No, not really. I wanted to be a singer, a great singer. I used to write these silly little songs and sing them at the top of my voice. Drove my mother nuts. She said it was some sort of a meditative process to compensate for my lack of a father. Psycho-babble and stuff,” Maria concluded. “Do you still want to be a singer?” he continued. Maria wondered where this line of questioning was leading. “Yeah, sometimes I do. I mean, I sing with Alex and have little gigs now and then but it's not my goal anymore,” Maria commented with a careless shrug and wondered what Max what up to. “Why?” came another query. Obviously, Max wasn't ready to uncover his plan yet. So she said simply, “It just isn’t anymore.” “Exactly,” Max nodded as though that explained everything. “You’re losing me here,” Maria remarked dryly. “My point is, you’ve changed. You’re no longer that little girl who wanted to be a singer. You’re still changing. You have different wants, different needs,” Max started to elaborate. “So?” she quirked. “So this change, it’s constant. Nothing can ever stay the same. You can never be the same. You’re trying to hang on to what used to be, on whatever you used to be before everything happened last year. Maybe because it was safe and you knew what you wanted then. But things are different now and they can never go back. No matter how much you want them too. That’s why you feel lost. You’ve lost that part of yourself that you used to know, that you used to be comfortable with,” he let out in detail. “Wow. You’re good at this,” she commented, surprised at Max's explanation. She hadn't thought of it that way before. “Therapy. It helps,” Max deadpanned. Maria grinned at the slight tap of humor. Maybe her penchant for jokes was rubbing off on him. “Don’t feel like you’ve lost yourself. It’s the past that you’ve lost. You’ve grown, we all have. We can’t live in the past no matter how tempting it is,” he said solemnly, persuasively. “But nothing is clear now. Everything feels like it’s a mess,” Maria flailed her hands about in frustration. “I know. But you know what? We don’t have to figure it all out now. That’s the beauty of it. We’re still growing, still changing, that’s why nothing can be set in stone. That’s why I can’t say I’m this leader, this king, this savior or this soulmate. Because like you said earlier, it’s just labels, things. It could all change tomorrow,” he said with certainty. “Max, you’re depressing me here,” Maria shot out, not liking the feeling of being out of control. She thought it was rather ironic that Mr. Control Freak himself was rather calm and accepting of these so-called changes. Perhaps the therapy was helping. Or perhaps as Max said, he was growing. “Sorry,” he replied, feeling a little sheepish for expounding on the subject that had been knocking about his mind recently. “You know, I think I like you’re all philosophical like this. It’s a new you. Wait, don’t say it. Change and growth, right?” Maria remarked. “Right,” he agreed. “Maria? It’s not so bad, you know. And I’ll be here … if you need me. If you need to talk,” he offered. “Thanks, Max. Thanks for listening,” Maria remarked with gratitude. Then a question on the tip of her tongue found its way out. “Do you ever talk to Liz like this? Oops, forgot. Not supposed to talk about Liz. Or Michael.” “It's okay, Maria," Max replied, knowing they wouldn't be able to avoid the subject all night. "Have I talked to Liz about this?" Max repeated the question. "No," he replied shortly. “Why not?” she questioned, wanting him to talk this time. “I don’t know. I guess it just never came up,” Max shrugged. “So I’m the only beneficiary of Dr. Max’s little pearls of wisdom?” Somehow the knowledge tickled her. It did feel good to be on the receiving end of advice. Especially since it helped to calm her down. “You could say that,” Max nodded. “Oh, I feel so special now,” Maria smiled again. “You are special, Maria,” he told her, sincerity etched in his voice. “Keep that up, Max and I may just believe you,” she parried the compliment, all the while reveling in it. Max leaned in closer and asked the same question Maria threw at him earlier. “Have you told Liz what you just told me?” Max wanted to know. "No. I haven't talked to Liz about this stuff. I jdon’t want to add my problems on top of hers. She’s too busy dealing with her own problems,” she explained. Max looked like he was about to press her to elaborate on that statement but kept himself in check. They were after all, talking about Maria. He nodded his head as though he understood and moved on. “What about Alex or Michael?” “Talk to them? About this? Uh-uh," she shook her head. "I love Alex to death but I can’t really talk to him about being lost especially since he’s found a new attitude. I don’t want to drag him back to where I am. It wouldn’t be fair,” Maria continued. “And Michael?” Max's question hung in the air. “Michael? Michael’s … well, he’s Michael. I think he’s been lost for quite a while too. The difference is, he’s trying to find the past he lost, the one he doesn’t remember. Hey, maybe you should give him your spiel about change and growth too. Maybe then he’ll focus on the here and now. And the future. Or me even. On second thought, never mind. You guys would probably wind up arguing again,” Maria recanted her suggestion. At Max’s nod, Maria continued and said, “I used to think that we'd find whatever it was we were looking for together but it's like he's so closed off, so focused on what he has to do that there’s no room for me. Everything is about him and I’m like this afterthought or something. I have to remind him time and time again I’m still here. I know he loves me and cares about me but sometimes he’s just not there for me, you know? He’d never ask me what you did,” she realized. “I’m sorry, Maria,” Max's eyes conveyed an apology. “Hey, don’t go and feel sorry for me. I knew what I was getting into with him. I just needed to spell this thing out. Although why I’m telling you all this and not him, I don’t know. Anyway, that’s it. I’m officially stopping this poor-Maria stuff. It's your turn to talk. My turn to listen,” she put up. “I think I’ve done enough talking already. Besides, I’ve already said what I wanted to say,” Max waved her off. Maria looked at him in understanding. Tonight's talk wasn't just about her. It was actually about them. They were both in the same boat, with changes swirling around them. Max had found a way to cope and he offered her the same kind of sanctuary he found. That touched Maria and she found herself smiling at him in gratitude. “If you feel the urge to just rattle on, I’m your girl. Okay?” Maria offered. The thought of him rattling on a la Maria brought another grin to his face. Maria never failed to make him smile. Despite any kind of serious situation, she always managed to bring some kind of humor in it. That's why he liked being around her. Glancing at his watch, Max was surprised at late hour. “It’s getting pretty late so I’d better take you home before your Mom sics the sheriff on me.” "Yeah, like you couldn't handle the sheriff," Maria quipped. The pair left the Taco Shack and sped off for home. Both sat in companionable silence. They had done enough talking for the night. Once in a while, Maria caught herself sneaking glance at Max, watching the calm way he drove. He was quite a good driver, didn’t speed up or slow down excessively, just drove with relaxed ease. “Are you comfortable? Should I turn up the heat?” Max asked. There was a slight chill in the February air. “No, I’m good,” she replied. Maria was feeling more than good. She was feeling quite relaxed, more relaxed than she had felt in a long time. Catharsis was good. Catharsis with a good friend was even better. She watched the scenery passing them by, absently noting it. She thought she felt Max’s gaze on her but dismissed it as him looking at the scenery too. Maria looked at Max again. He looked settled, she thought. It looked like her catharsis, her babbling helped him too. Max glanced back at her and the corners of his mouth lifted. Yeah, he looked as relaxed as she did. He reached out a hand to flip the radio buttons on his car, settling on a nice modern rock tune. Subconsciously, Maria hummed along. She looked at his arm before he dropped it to his side, thinking it was rather nicely tanned. Another glance at Max revealed his moonlight on his face, casting a shining glow on it. Something in her shifted. She stopped humming and opened her eyes. Max was actually very good looking. Maria tilted her head to study his profile and decided she liked it. She had never really looked at Max before. Oh, she saw him countless times but this was the first time, she actually looked at him. What she found was something quite appealing. Long curly eyelashes, dark hair with small bangs clinging to his forehead, a nice looking mouth that looked quite kissable. “Whoa, Maria, back up and slam the brakes on that thought,” she told herself, sitting straight up. “What’s wrong?” Max asked, noticing her sharp movement. “Just thinking, that’s all,” she said blandly to him. Max simply nodded and left her to her thoughts. "This is no time to be thinking of Max that way," Maria berated herself. She had just gotten comfortable and relaxed. No need to think of strange thoughts involving her friend. But still, Maria found herself catching more glances at his profile. “Yeah, right, Maria,” she muttered under her breath and concentrated on the road again. The jeep slowed down and stopped in front of her house. Maria felt strange. Relaxed yet tense. Her talk with Max was great but her recent observation of him just felt weird, out of place. “Maybe I'm just tired. Or maybe I'm just happy that I finally got stuff off my chest and someone like him was there to really listen,” she rationalized the strangeness. A small voice in her head piped in to say, “Or maybe it’s because you’re changing, opening your eyes to different things. Max said nothing ever stays the same.” Maria quieted down that voice. Max, always the gentleman, walked her to her door. As they stood at her front door, Max said, “I had a good time tonight. Thank you, Maria,” he said in soft tones. “So did I. And hey, we managed to live through an entire evening with no alien crisis. I’d say that qualifies as a good time,” Maria responded. Max tipped his head slightly in agreement. A few moments passed with Max looking at her. Then Max said, "Good night,” and dropping a quick kiss on her cheek. Maria blinked at the kiss, her cheeks reddening. Max had never so much as given her a hug or a friendly peck before. It was nice. “Good night, Max,” Maria reached out to give him an equally quick hug and then turned to insert the key into the front door. Max walked away from the door and towards the jeep. Before reaching the jeep, Max turned around and called out, “Maria?” “Yeah, Max?” Maria looked back at him. “You look beautiful tonight. I mean it,” he said simply. “Happy Valentine's Day,” he smiled and got into his car. He pulled out of her driveway and rode off into the darkness. Maria went inside the house, glowing slightly at the compliment that Max gave her. “Looks like I wasn’t the only one looking tonight,” she thought. It was a thrill, perhaps a harmless one. Perhaps not. As she got into bed, Maria thought of the night’s events. It wasn’t the Valentines’ Day she had envisioned having but it was lovely. She had a nice meal, reconnected with a good friend, talked about her worries, got a compliment and felt good all around. And whatever she was feeling at the tail end of the evening, she decided not to worry or think about it too much. She recalled Max’s words earlier. “We don’t have to figure it all out now,” he said. And that, she thought as her eyes closed, was all right with her. -End- HOME ROSWELL FAN FICTION FAN FICTION ROSWELL |