How
can I stop having lustful thoughts? How
can I have victory over my negative, critical, pessimistic thinking? How can I keep from feeling angry, jealous,
guilty, depressed, or impatient? How can
I keep my thoughts pure?
If
you are asking any of these questions, you are basically asking the question,
“How can I change? How can I control my
thoughts and develop new attitudes?”
Experiences
we have had, including childhood ones, make impressions on us. These experiences cause us to respond in
certain ways to situations we face later in life. This is a common pattern for all of us. One person never experienced an outward
display of affection from his father, and now struggles with a deep need for
that kind of expression. Another was
made to feel he could never do anything properly, so today he battles with a
sense of uncertainty and inferiority.
Another was deeply hurt by someone to whom he reached out, and now finds
it difficult to trust anyone. But there
are also the positive experiences. Many
people experienced love, acceptance, support, and encouragement as
children. They are able, as life
develops, to relate more easily to people and circumstances.
Where
the patterns are negative and destructive, the person needs change so he can
find release and experience a new freedom, freedom that comes from knowing the
truth and how to apply it. “Then you
will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (Jn.
The
important fact to recognize is that our thought patterns and habits can be
changed constructively and we can experience release from reactions and
responses that continually defeat us.
Let’s
look at a typical pattern of thinking in this type of situation. First, we recognize that there is a need to
change an attitude, whatever that attitude may be. Maybe it’s an attitude toward an individual
or an attitude toward a situation. In
order to change his attitude, the average Christian thinks that just praying
about it will hopefully change his attitude.
We
have been instructed that the way to change is through the means of
prayer. After we pray, somehow something
is supposed to happen and our attitudes change.
We may not say it that way, but there is the implication that some
mystical process takes place and attitudes change when a person reads the Bible
or prays.
We
recognize that there is a certain truth to that concept. The Bible says it, so we know that there has
to be truth in it. “How can a young man
keep his way pure? By
keeping it according to Thy Word” (Psa.
119:9). God is the only One
who can bring about real change in our thought patterns. We must always keep that in mind!
However,
people repeatedly struggle in vain for results in this pattern – they pray and
ask for help but nothing happens. No
change of attitude takes place. They
continue to struggle with the same basic conflicts. When this happens, a pattern of defeat
begins.
Of
course, the enemy (Satan) takes
advantage at this point and begins accusing, “You see,
there must be something else wrong or this attitude would change.” So people look deeper, pray harder, spend
longer periods of time with the Lord, and still many of these attitudes don’t
change. This is a real issue which we
are going to encounter continually in our relationships with people.
In
considering this we want to be very careful to avoid any idea of a so-called
“do-it-yourself” Christianity. We do not
make the changes in our lives. Only God
has the power to make deep, inner changes.
We want to emphasize that, so that there is no misunderstanding.
On
the basis of Prov.
In order to begin to understand how this applies to
the concept of changing our thought patterns, let’s examine one little phrase
from Paul, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (
Let’s
use a hilltop as an illustration. When
rain falls on a hill, the water drains off.
How does it drain off? In
rivulets or grooves in the ground.
Initially, they are just small rivulets, but each time rain falls, the
rivulets/grooves cut deeper and deeper.
They can become deep chasms.
Now
let’s compare these rivulets/grooves with thought patterns in our minds. The longer we think along any given line, the
stronger that thought pattern becomes.
Every time we react in a certain way, we reinforce that thought
pattern. This is how habits are formed.
If
we want to get rid of rivulets on a hill, we could take a bulldozer and cover
them up. We could also build a little
dam where the rivulet/groove begins so that the next time it rains the rivulets
will change some. While we can’t cover
up our thoughts with mental bulldozers, we can build a dam in our minds when
certain thoughts begin. We can refuse to
think them. We can say, “I will not
allow myself to think that.”
Building
a dam in the mind, however, is not enough.
That is, saying “no” is not sufficient by itself. We also need to provide a new course for our
thinking. We should not just suppress
thoughts! We should redirect them. We should change negative thought patterns
into positive thought patterns.
We
find a good illustration of this in Paul’s words, “He who has been stealing
must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands,
that he may have something to share with those in need” (Eph. 4:28). How does a
thief stop being a thief? Is it just by
not stealing anymore? Not quite. Certainly that is part of it. That’s saying “no” to a negative, destructive
habit. It’s building the “dam.” But it’s not enough. In order to change, the thief is told to get
a job and earn money honestly. Then he
is to give to others in need so that perhaps they won’t be tempted to
steal. Now the process is complete. The negative habit has been dealt with by an
act of the will which chooses to stop it.
But the will must also choose to replace that with the corresponding
constructive action in order that the change in thought patterns may be
completed.
And
so it becomes clear that in order to change these thought patterns we must do
two things. First, we must build the
dam, that is, refuse to allow wrong thoughts.
Second, we must redirect the flow and develop a new way of
thinking. Eventually the old patterns
will fade. They may never disappear, but
they will fade and will become less and less influential in controlling our
thinking.
We
need to realize that this takes place by an act of the will, not by wishful
thinking and not solely by devotional meditation and prayer. Meditation and prayer are necessary, but we
must move beyond that to an act of the will.
Paul
gives us some helpful thoughts on the subject, “Set your minds on things above”
(Col. 3:2) a declarative statement
that involves an act of the will. You
set your mind. “Put to death … whatever
belongs to your earthly nature, sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires”
(vs. 5), “You must rid yourselves” (vs. 8), “Put on” (vs. 12). Changing thought
patterns is not just “putting away” by building dams, but also “putting on” by
building new patterns. It is not just
suppressing, but redirecting our thoughts into healthy, positive ways of
thinking.
What
does “put to death” (vs. 5)
mean? The old thought patterns do not
just die naturally; it would be great if they did and we never again had this
desire or that temptation. But because “the heart is more deceitful … and is desperately sick”
(Jer. 17:9), and because the
flesh/sin nature is the flesh/sin nature and lusts against the Spirit, these
battles go on continually.
Therefore, the statement “put to death” requires a continual
action. We must put old thought patterns
to death every time they rear their heads.
We cannot just put immorality to death, and then no longer have immoral
thoughts. They will continue to come up
and every time they do, we have to stop them right at the headwaters with the
dam. Every time! The more times we put those wrong thoughts to
death and put on the new ones, the less our thoughts tend to flow in the wrong
direction.
Paul
commands us to develop healthy, positive, spiritual ways of thinking (Col. 3:12). We are to “put on” certain positive thought
patterns as we “put off” the wrong ones.
These two steps are essential if there is to be genuine change. We have looked at the illustration of the
changed thief (Eph.
Paul
deals with this concept in his letter to the Romans (chapters 6-8). It helps to
have some one-word titles for these passages.
Romans chapter 6 describes our “provision.” We have been delivered from the power of
sin. “Our old self (the control of the sin nature) was crucified with Him so that the
body of sin might be rendered powerless, that we should no longer be slaves to
sin” (vs. 6). “Because anyone who has
died has been freed from sin” (vs. 7). “Sin shall not be your
master” (vs. 14). “You have been set free
from sin” (vs. 18). “Provision” has been made so that we might
overcome the power of sin.
“Struggle”
is the key word in chapter 7. We
struggle all the time. We struggle about
how to get the provision of chapter 6 into our lives. The solution is the Lord Jesus Christ (vs. 25).
He
is always the final answer. We all
believe this. We preach sermons on
it. We teach it. But too often we have not told people how to
experience it in a practical way.
Chapter
8 tells us how. One phrase is repeated
several times. Different versions state
it in different ways, but the idea is the same.
They all refer to “setting the mind.”
Those who are according to the flesh/sin nature set their minds on the
things of the flesh/sin nature, but those who are according to the Spirit, (set their minds on) the things of the
Spirit. For the mind set on the
flesh/sin nature is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace,
because the mind set on the flesh/sin nature is hostile toward God (vv. 5-7).
Add
to that these words of Paul, “Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and
right. Think about things that are pure
and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be
glad about” (Phil. 4:8).
There,
in essence, is the whole concept of right thinking: “fix your thoughts.” It is a statement of command which requires a
response of the will – to fix our thoughts – to set our minds on these things.
The
practical application of this concept is this:
“Continue to work/live out your salvation with fear and trembling, for
it is God who works in you to will and to do what pleases Him” (Phil. 2:12,13). This statement presents the chronological
process of the effective out-working of Rom. 6-8. Another version states, “For God is the
Energizer within you, so as to will and to work for His delight” (vs. 12, New
A
light switch can be used to illustrate the Christian’s responsibility in this
process. As the light switch is moved,
it turns the light on and off. That
switch connects to a wire that goes through the house and out to a power line
that eventually goes to a generating plant.
Millions of volts of electricity are being produced there. The source of energy is enormous. The power comes through the lines to the wall
switch. Whether the light is illuminated
by the electrical energy depends on the position of the switch. The switch is a circuit breaker.
In
the same way what happens in the first part of Paul’s statement determines
whether the energy in the second part comes into our lives. Continually working/living out our salvation
has to do with what we think – what we fix our thoughts on, what choices of
will we make. In effect Paul says, “You
do your part. You do what you know is
right.” This means we should renew our
thoughts, and not allow them to continue following negative patterns. This is difficult and requires personal
discipline. Thus we are turning the
“switch” on for God’s energy to flow whenever we choose not to allow wrong
thoughts to continue.
Thought
patterns are so ingrained that we don’t recognize the stimulus that sets them
off. And before we know it, one of our
old thought patterns is off and running downhill. We respond to it as fast as a snap of the
fingers. For example, when we hear the
word “fireplace,” we immediately see an image – good, bad or indifferent. The words “ocean beaches” immediately bring a
specific picture to mind. These words
are stimuli which induce an immediate thought pattern.
In
the same way, therefore, there are many things that “trigger” or set off wrong
thought patterns. We need to ask God to
alert us through His Holy Spirit the minute these negative thought patterns
begin.
This
is all we can legitimately ask Him to do.
When we ask God to change our thought patterns, we are asking Him to do
something for which He has already said we are responsible.
Let’s
consider conflict in an interpersonal relationship as an illustration. One person says, “I have prayed for months,
literally, for love for that person but I just can’t love him.” However, when God says we are to do
something, it is never a question of “can’t” but “won’t”. God commands us to love others, whether or
not they are our enemies, whether or not they have mistreated us. We are to love each other. No matter how we feel, God commands that we
demonstrate the qualities of love (1 Cor.
13:4-7) by an act of our wills in obedience to that command. As we act in obedience, our feelings will
respond accordingly. “A new commandment
I give you: Love one another” (Jn.
There
are many similar areas where we often find ourselves asking God to change
something when He has told us what to do.
He tells us clearly that it is our responsibility to “fix our thoughts”
and “set our minds.” We have the right
to ask God to alert us to be sensitive to the beginning of that negative
thought pattern, but as soon as He alerts us, then the responsibility to take
action is ours.
For
example, one of the areas that men have a great deal of difficulty with is
their eyes – what they look at. We teach
men that it is their responsibility to control their eyes. And while that emphasis may be proper, it
presents a problem. The problem is that
we are asking them to suppress a normal reaction. The Bible refers specifically to this. We are told in the words of the Lord Jesus
that if a man looks on a woman to lust after her he has committed adultery in
his heart. Jesus didn’t say it was wrong
to look. There is a difference.
Jesus
never condemned seeing what normally crosses our line of sight. Yet, we do.
We ask a man to act contrary to normal reaction and we produce a
conflict immediately. The moment that a
man looks at anything that might cause lust, he feels guilty. It is as though he shouldn’t see or is
supposed to wear blinders. It produces a
tremendous amount of frustration.
What
we should do is help men realize that looking at someone or something that is
attractive is normal. However, how a man
handles his subsequent thoughts is important.
If he allows himself to dwell on lustful desires for that person or
thing, according to Jesus, he is sinning.
But I would emphasize that the same stimulus can be used to produce a
positive response as well as a negative one.
Years
ago when I began to realize this, I learned for the first time how to have real
victory in this area of my own thought life.
I remember how revealing and liberating it was. Whenever I would find myself looking at an
attractive woman who could have generated thoughts that were wrong, I would
admit them and control them by saying, “Thank you, Lord. Thank you that I am healthy, that I have
normal responses, that I am made the way you intended me to be made, and I
praise You, Lord for Your creative ability in how You’ve
made this attractive person. May her
inner character and personality be even more attractive, because it’s more
important than her outward appearance.”
It
only took a split second, but a dam was built and a new positive channel was
being produced. It happened very
quickly. By the grace of God that has
become a thought pattern now.
The
principle is to utilize the same stimulus that could produce negative thoughts
to produce positive responses instead by choosing that which you are going to
allow your mind to think about. I did
not suppress those feelings. I did not
say, “Come on George you are not supposed to think that way.” That only reinforces the negative response
which I am trying to overcome.
Suppression reinforces negativism.
Sublimation or redirection reinforces a positive replacement of that
negative thought. So, the same stimulus
can produce positive/pure results, if we are alert to catch them the moment our
thoughts begin a negative/impure pattern.
We do this by building a “dam” by saying “no” to the destructive thought
and saying “yes” to a positive, constructive alternative.
This
is where Scripture comes in. Verses or
concepts of Scripture can be used to build these dams which check our thinking,
The next time that same thing stimulates our thinking
we should tell ourselves, “Don’t think that way, think this way.” This redirects those thought patterns into
positive directions. “Fix your thoughts
on what is true and good and right” (Phil. 4:8).
If
we do what God requests (Phil.
Let’s
look at another personal example. I
found that in my relationship with my wife, Florine, I am not beyond feeling
impatient. I never will be. As long as I am in this body and have the
heart of flesh that I have, I am going to have these tendencies. But I find now that I am able to recognize
these impatient feelings.
We
all experience them: anger, resentment, envy, jealousy, defensiveness, lust,
and others. These are part of the
temptations spoken of by Paul (1 Cor.
1. Our Emotions React. As we’ve seen, we all have feelings that are
set off by a variety of stimuli. It’s
important that we admit these feelings.
It is destructive to try to deny or suppress them. But, as followers of Christ, we must not be
controlled by these initial reactions.
2. Our Intellects/Minds
Evaluate. We are responsible to “set our
minds” and think through on our emotional responses and their possible
results. It is at this point that the
Bible is so important. The more we know
of what the Bible says, the more truth we have by which to evaluate our
reactions. This will also help us know
what to do with the feelings we are experiencing.
3. Our Wills Choose. Having had the initial reaction and having
evaluated, we now must choose our course of action. Here is the crucial step! Our evaluation may have told us that our
feelings/reactions are not biblical; they are neither constructive nor
loving. In spite of this we may choose
to act on the basis of our feelings.
This would be immature response and behavior. It is also disobedience and sin (James
(This article is primarily the work of
George Sanchez of the Navigator organization.)