P. M. S.
Power hungry, materialistic, and selfish.
These three words characterized my life.
As a child, my mom frequently moved around, and as a result, I
had no stability, developed no close friendships, and soon developed a fear of
rejection.
In order to “overcome” this fear, I learned to gain
acceptance through my performance. When
I was in grade school, I promised myself that I’d excel in everything that I
did because I wanted people to look up to me and be under my control. (That
way, it would seem that people needed me and I didn’t need them).
As time went on, I became more insecure. So I strove for more power. I took “Honors Classes” in High School so
people would see how smart I was and respect me. Later, I joined the Army where I discovered
that being power hungry only meant being disliked. So, I turned to drinking in order to fit
in. It helped me to relax and become
more sociable, temporarily. Eventually,
I ended up going through about two bottles of alcohol each weekend. Drinking wasn’t the answer because I couldn’t
stay drunk all the time, and it was becoming an expensive habit. Soon after, I got out of the Army, stopped
drinking, and began to wonder what the purpose of life was. It didn’t make sense to me: Why strive for power, money, and
materialistic things if I couldn’t keep them when I died? By this time, I wanted something I could
devote my life to – something that would not be a waste.
Then about three months later, in September while I was
on my way to the University library, a guy stopped me and explained how I could
get to heaven. I agreed that “Christ
died for my sins,” but I didn’t understand why.
Because I wanted to find out why, I met with him daily. It wasn’t until he shared some further
passages from the Bible with me that I understood why Christ had died. It finally made sense that Christ died in my
place. By placing my trust in this fact,
all my sins were forgiven and I was
going to heaven when I died.
Since becoming a Christian, I’ve learned that there is
more to Christianity than just getting into heaven. I now have someone to live for. I have a purpose in life – to love God by
evangelizing the spiritually lost, building up believers spiritually, and
living a holy life. No longer do I waste
time by seeking things, power, career, or people in order to feel satisfied and
fulfilled. Rather, Christ is my
satisfaction and fulfillment in life. I
no longer need to be accepted by others on the basis of what I’ve done because
I’m accepted by Christ due to what He has done.
As it says in Romans 15:7,
“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring
praise to God.”