Overcoming Our Pride
Pride is the sin that deceives us. Its effects are
found everywhere. It is the chief cause of human strife and tragedy. Pride is
the original sin, committed by Satan resulting in his fall from heaven, and by
Adam and Eve when they were sent from the Garden. All other evil can be traced
back to pride.
What is this sin? Pride is an undue sense of our own superiority; it is
inordinate self-esteem. It is the raising of ourselves above others. As a
result of pride, our relationships with God, with others and with ourselves
are severely affected.
C. S. Lewis wrote, “Pride always
means enmity – it is hatred. And not only between man and
man, but enmity (hatred) to God. … A proud man is always looking
down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you
cannot see something that is above you. … As long as you are proud, you cannot
know God (experientially at that point).”1
We are God’s creation. He intricately
designed us and brought each of us into being. In every way God is vastly
superior to us. He is infinite; we are finite. He is righteous; we have sinned
and are unrighteous. He is wise; we are foolish.
When we are proud, we deliberately
choose not to acknowledge God’s Lordship in our lives. Instead, we exalt our
own way of doing things, and we say to God, “I’ll do this my way. Don’t
interfere in my life.” But if we do not know that God is immeasurably superior
to ourselves, then we cannot know Him at all (personally).
Pride alienates us from others.
If we judge others and deem them to be inferior to us, we become crippled in
our ability to relate to them. Pride wrecks relationships, setting husband
against wife, parent against child, friend against friend, worker against boss.
In our pride we can become isolated and alone.
Pride also wreaks havoc in our
own lives. According to the book of Proverbs, there is more hope for a fool
than for a proud person.2 Indeed, a proud person is the biggest fool
of all because pride will bring him low, leading to his ultimate destruction.3
My wife, Sally, and I had reached another impasse on how to respond to our
children. When disagreements arose, we would argue with each other, and before
long all sorts of other issues were dragged in. Finally Sally told me that I
was allowing our disagreement to turn into a judgment of her and that I was
becoming proud. My focus was no longer on what was best for the family, but on
getting my own way. It was hard to admit at first, but she was right.
The symptoms of pride can be likened
to those of cancer. At first we are unaware of the cancer, and it grows
silently inside our bodies. Then we realize that something isn’t right. If we
ignore it, the cancer becomes a consuming and potentially lethal disease.
So it is with pride. Once we recognize
the symptoms of pride in our lives, we have two choices: we can ignore the
symptoms and let pride destroy us, or we can go to God and ask Him to show us
the extent of the problem and trust Him to help us deal with it. The symptoms
of pride include:
· Stealing from God’s glory. To have an honest estimation and
understanding of our God-given gifts and abilities is not pride. Such an
assessment is necessary if we are to develop the talents that God has invested
in us. However, it is a dangerous form of pride that causes us to take credit
for the gifts that God has given us.
·
Self-centeredness. If, in the exercising of our spiritual gifts and
natural abilities, we ride over the feelings of others and insist on getting
our own way, then we need to reexamine our “gifts.” If we are not using our
abilities to bring blessing to others, then we are misusing them.
·
A demanding
spirit. The pride of a demanding
person is revealed by his constantly bringing attention to the things that have
not been done for him, rather than the things that have been done. In demanding
that people do things our way (all the time), we are saying, “I am
superior to you.”
·
Superiority. Pride causes us to believe we are more important
than others and to look down on them. Such haughtiness reveals a belief that
somehow we are closer to God or better than other people because of our
doctrines, actions and intrinsic worth.
·
Sarcasm. Caustic comments may be socially acceptable, but
they have no place in the
·
A judgmental
and critical attitude. Jesus died to
make us one, but (destructive) criticism divides and destroys churches.
People who are critical and (unbiblically) judgmental have difficulty
seeing the good in others and, when they are confronted with it, are quick to
negate it through comparison. In judging (unbiblically) another person
we are saying, “I can do it better. Why don’t they just move over and let me do
it?”
·
Impatience. By being impatient we signify that our ideas, projects,
programs and schedules are more important than those of other people. Many
times we have to wait on others, but becoming impatient at such times,
regardless of who is at fault, is never justified.
· An unteachable spirit. None of us is above the need for correction in some
area of our lives. When we are confronted, do we listen? Or do we ignore what
that person is telling us? Do we accept his reproof? Or do we become aloof and
resentful that he would dare to correct us?
If we can lay aside our pride,
we will benefit from the insights of many wise and godly people. However, if we
are unwilling to accept this kind of correction, we have become unteachable.
· Self-pity.
Self-pity results when we cling to our hurts, frustrations and disappointments
instead of turning our problems over to the Lord. We do this because we enjoy
the attention that comes when someone feels sorry for us and because we think
we can do a better job of dealing with our problems than God can.
Is it possible, given the
deceitful human heart and the deceptive nature of pride, to have victory over
pride? Perhaps our goal should be not just freedom from pride but the opposite
of pride: humility. Our focus should be Christlikeness, the essence of
humility. Our concern then would be focused not only on getting rid of
something but on yielding to Christ so that He can make us like Himself.
We can begin to define humility
by what it is not. Humility is not being embarrassed by the disclosure
of our worst sins. It does not come from being shamed publicly. Humility
is not a form of self-hatred, nor is it a low estimate of our
gifts and abilities. It is not aesthetic withdrawal from the world, and
it is not a mystical experience.
What then is humility? Humility is dependence on God. Humility is
acknowledging our absolute and total dependence on God, the Creator, and daily
looking to Him as the one true Source of forgiveness and mercy, as the One who
gives counsel and direction in every decision in life. Humility is a longing
in our hearts for a relationship and communion with God.
Humility is the willingness to
be honest with ourselves and with others, to be known for who we really are.
We don’t need to tell everyone everything about ourselves. But we can come to
terms with our fears and failures, and share them with godly people who are
close to us.
Honesty about our shortcomings
should be a way of life. For example, if we fail to fulfill our responsibilities
at work, we should admit that we were wrong and ask for forgiveness. If we
offend a family member, we should humble ourselves and apologize for our
insensitivity and impatience.
Humility is a
realistic/biblical view of ourselves.
Consider the importance that
God’s Word puts on humility:
· “Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the
greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”4
· “For the Lord takes pleasure
in His people; He will beautify the afflicted ones (humble) with
salvation.”5
· “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the
humble.”6
Many years ago I came to a
crisis point in my relationship with others. I had deeply hurt several close
friends, shown disrespect for my wife and was being dealt with by God in many
areas of my relationship with Him.
Acknowledging my sin, I prayed,
“Lord, I desperately need You in my life. I have
come to the end of myself. I ask You to use this time
to bring me to a place of brokenness. Do anything You
need to do in my life to produce Christlikeness and humility in me. I ask You to be ruthless in dealing with my sin. No matter how
long it takes or what You have to do, I welcome Your
loving judgment in my heart. No matter what the cost, Lord, I commit myself to
go Your way. I ask for no shortcuts to my growth.”
I decided to take the attitude
that in every conflict I had with others from that point on, I would believe that
God wanted to use that conflict to show me what was in my heart.
Ruthless honesty about ourselves is the only way to break the pattern of pride and
deception. Humility brings liberty, healing, truth, growth, and reconciliation
to God and others. We cannot force humility to grow, but we can choose to humble
ourselves and, in so doing, welcome the indwelling Christ to rule supreme in
our lives.
(1) From “Mere Christianity,” by C. S. Lewis, © 1943,
1945, 1952 C. S. Lewis Pte Ltd., The
Macmillan Company,
Floyd McClung Jr.
DECISION,
February 1990, pp. 13, 14