One-Liners
  1. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
 
  2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
 
  3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
 
  4. A backward poet writes inverse.
 
  5. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
 
  6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
 
  7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
 
  9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
 
  10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
 
  11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
 
  12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
 
  13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

  14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
 
  15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
 
  16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
 
  17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
 
  18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
 
  19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
 
  20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

  21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
 
  22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
 
  23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
 
  24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
 
  25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
 
  26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
 
  27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
 
  28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
 
  29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
 
  30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
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