Chapter 27

Chloe ran towards the stretcher, hitting the front of one of the paramedics. It felt like she had hit a brick wall, and she came tumbling down to the ground, scraping her knee on the dirt. Before she could feel the pain, she was back to her feet, only to be restrained by the medic again. Chloe struggled with the man, as he held her back. "No! Let me go!" she shouted, elbowing the man in the stomach. She was frantic, and she couldn't calm herself even if she tried.

The uniformed man held her wrists tighter, while she writhed to get away. "Calm down!"

"You calm down," she barked. "You don't understand. Just let me go!"

"If I let you go, are you going to control yourself?" he asked in a condescending tone Chloe didn't like.

"Yes, I promise," she told him through gritted teeth, trying to control the anger that rose inside her.

He released his grasp on Chloe''s arms.

She rubbed the red marks that he left from holding her so tightly. "Can I see him?" she asked in a hushed tone that made the medic feel sorry for her.

"Go ahead." He held out his hand to help her mount the back of the ambulance.

Chloe stepped into the ambulance slowly, carefully. "Brady?" She inched towards him slowly, frightened by what she saw. Picking up his bloodied hand, she lightly slid her fingers against his damp skin. He was cold, so very cold. Chloe knew what that meant. Or at least, she thought she did. "Is he...I mean...Is he dead?" she asked in a tiny, insecure voice that didn't want the answer. The tears she had been keeping in escaped down her cheeks, unnoticed.

"No, miss. He's lost a lot of blood. He's broken some bones, and he's been outside for a long time."

"Will...will he make it?" She closed her eyes tight until the world seemed to go black and she saw stars.

"I can't say for sure, but it looks good," the second paramedic told her, as he struggled to prod Brady's skin to place an IV.

Chloe let the tears come out in a flood, and the medic rested a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, hey, it will be fine. We'll take good care of him." His words were kind and soft, but they did not comfort Chloe.

She didn't care for empty sentiments. She wanted Brady to wake up and be fine. "Oh God, Brady," she said quietly, squeezing his hand, blinking back her tears. "I can't lose you. Be strong for me," she whispered, leaning forward. She pushed some of the hair from his forehead, gently kissing him. She let the tears fall against his skin. She couldn't help it. She tried to be strong. But images of a life without Brady popped into her mind, and she didn't want to even think about it. Her head swam with countless emotions that she would never be able to put into words, even if she lived to be one hundred.

When they finally arrived at the hospital and wheeled Brady to the operating room, Chloe had to let go of his hand. As much as she wanted to stay with him, so he would know she was there to support him, she knew it was unrealistic. With a final kiss to his palm, she let him go, as they wheeled him out of sight. Looking down at herself, she saw her clothes were stained red, and it was the worst feeling in the world.

Not again, she kept repeating in her mind. But it was happening again, and it was all Derek's doing. She didn't have to ask Brady. She knew it was him. She could feel it. Even her hand bore the crusty remains of Brady's blood. Dried to her skin and imprinted in her aching heart, she would never forget this night. Chloe stood, unmoving, put back into a trance where nothing was intelligible.

The question that had been nagging her the entire night came back to her. Why? What had she done? There was no reason to blame anyone but herself, she figured. In her mind, it made sense that she was to blame. After all, she had been the one involved with Derek, and the one who tried to forget about him, even though she knew what he could do to her and the man she loved. She should have had her guard up. She should have known, she chastised herself.

"Dammit, I should have known," she told herself aloud, breaking herself from the quiet tunnel she had been in.

There was only one place to go. One place where she could try to resurrect hope now that hers was gone. Chloe had never really believed in God. She thought it was a myth, created by people to sooth their fears about death. Was there a miracle worker who lived in a far off world most people referred to as heaven? She didn't know. All she knew was that she needed a little faith right then, a little something extra to help her through.

Stepping into the sanctuary, she felt her protective nature slowly slip away. The warm glow of candles lit for the suffering and dead held her attention for a minute. Sitting down in one of the wooden pews, she finally let the tears and tension she had been hiding come out. The sobs wracked her body hard, echoing off the walls. She didn't care if she was alone or if she was in a church. She just wanted to let everything out.

"What did I do?" she hollered at the large cross hung at the front of the pulpit. "He didn't deserve this! Why couldn't you stop it?" Chloe cried out in pain. "What the hell kind of God are you anyway? My whole life I've suffered and now this. Now, when I was...happy and...safe, when I found someone...you do this. Why? Don't you see I love him? Don't you get it?" Chloe asked the air, consumed by her tears.

She felt like she couldn't breathe, or that maybe she didn't deserve to. She should be the one to suffer, not Brady, not now. The air in her chest was barely getting in and out, and her lungs and her chest felt tight. "I've suffered, dammit! All my life, I've tried to let you in. I've tried so hard to be a good person. I don't understand! What do you want from me?" she cried out, collapsing onto the floor, sandwiched between the pews.

"What did I do?" she asked quietly, closing her eyes.

A nurse finally entered the room, hearing Chloe's tortured screams from across the hall. She rushed to Chloe's side, who was out cold. The nurse left the room and called for a gurney and a male nurse to help her pick up Chloe. A few minutes later, a large male nurse wearing blue scrubs came in and picked Chloe up into his arms. She struggled against him but didn't have the energy to open her tired blue eyes and defend herself. He placed her on the small bed on wheels, taking her to the psychiatric ward.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chloe awoke with a start. She sat up, looking at the room she occupied. Nothing looked familiar to her. She felt dizzy and disoriented. Her head ached, and as she ran her hand through her hair, she realized why. Chloe had a large bump at the back of her head. She must have hit her head on the bench before she passed out.

Her throat was dry. She needed a glass of water or anything liquid that would quench the burn. Jumping off the bed, her head pounded in protest. Slipping through the large doors, Chloe walked aimlessly down unknown hallways. She found a drink machine and slipped in some quarters, getting a bottle of water. She uncapped the plastic bottle and drank the entire contents.

She had to find Brady now. Telling herself she needed to be under control this time, she remembered her outburst in the church. "Excuse me," Chloe whispered when she found a reception desk at the end of the long hall.

"Yes?" a small woman with vintage glasses asked.

"Could you tell me where I could find Brady Black?"

"Just a minute. Let me run a check through the computer."

Chloe waited patiently, absently squeezing her hands together.

"Mr. Black brought in with various stab wounds and other injuries?" she asked looking at Chloe.

Chloe nodded, too afraid to speak for fear she would lose control of her emotions again.

"He's just been brought out of surgery. It will be a few hours before you can see him."

"Okay," Chloe said disappointed, letting a few tears trace her face.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chloe waited for what seemed to be an eternity. Finally, she got the okay to see Brady. With careful steps, she walked down the corridor to his room, praying he was all right. Chloe lightly knocked on the door before she entered.

Brady appeared to be asleep, wrapped generously in hospital blankets. His face was swollen and bruised. It was enough for Chloe's tears to begin. Even halfway across the room, she could see he was badly injured, and she wondered if she should be there at all. After all, she was sure Derek was responsible. If she continued to be in Brady's life, she would just cause him more pain.

However, as she approached the cold metal at the side of his bed, looking down at him, she knew she could never walk away. As much as she loved him, she wasn't willing to let him go. He had become the only person in her life never to let her down, never to try to change her, and despite their rocky beginning, they were now in a place that most people never came close to. Chloe knew without question she would die for Brady, and seeing him and his battered appearance, she knew he felt the same.

Gently tracing the lines of his face, Chloe shuddered at his swollen features. His lips, once perfect and full, were now split and marred. His eyes bluer than the ocean, were now almost swollen shut. His cheeks and jaw were bruised, and his nose was broken. "Oh Brady," she whispered gently, lightly kissing his forehead which remained relatively unscathed. Pulling back the sheets carefully, she noted his shoulder was bandaged and his chest was bare except for the large strip of gauze covering his stab wound to the abdomen. Lifting the sheet a little further, she saw the full leg cast.

Brady slept soundly, looking so troubled, so tired. Chloe took his hand softly in hers. Rubbing her fingers over his bruised knuckles, she kissed them tenderly and then placed his hand over her chest. Her heart ached as it pounded against his masculine fingers. "Don't leave me!" she sighed, letting a sorrowful cry escape her lips. She placed his hand back on the cool sheets and wiped the tears from her eyes.

Chloe pulled up a chair and took his hand once again, keeping vigil until he awoke.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Not even an hour later, Brady opened his eyes, unnoticed by Chloe who had her head buried against his good arm. He watched her as she cried softly against him. Part of him wanted to smile because she was so concerned, and he knew their love was real. The other part of him knew he couldn't smile because it would hurt. Thoughts raced through his head, and the one thing that had sustained him was that she was with him, safe. He could live with being hurt and in pain, but if Chloe----if she had been injured, he would never forgive himself.

She had become the only reason to live, the only reason not to drink himself to death and waste his life away. For the first time in his life, he had someone to count on, someone who needed him just as much as he needed her, and he fed off of that. It gave him strength to do anything, face any challenge as long as she was by his side. They would get through this----together.

"Chloe!?" he said gently, lightly squeezing her hand in his. He didn't have much strength, and to her it felt like a like brush against her palm, but she felt it nonetheless.

Her eyes lifted slowly, meeting his. When Chloe looked up, she resisted the urge to hug him tightly, knowing it would be too painful for him. She couldn't get out any words. She just shook her head and let the tears fall down her cheeks.

"Hey, hey," he soothed, letting go of her hand and bringing it to her face.

"I'm sorry," she whispered quietly. "This is all my fault."

"No, no. Don't say that." Brady tried to sit up, but the burning in his stomach changed his mind.

"Why not? It's true."

"Chloe, please don't talk like that. This is no one's fault. I'm fine."

"Brady, you are not fine."

"Well, I might not win a Mr. America contest anymore, but I'm okay."

"Brady...I was so scared."

"I know," he soothed.

Chloe cried against his hand, kissing his fingers and palm. "If I ever lost you...I...I don't know what I'd do," she told him honestly.

"But you didn't. So let's not talk like that. Okay?" Brady told her, resting a finger under her chin so she looked him in the eye.

"Okay," she whispered softly. "It was Derek, wasn't it?"

He nodded against the pillow, leaning back, trying to find a comfortable position. The pain in his abdomen was beginning to become unbearable, but he resisted the urge to call a nurse for fear he would frighten Chloe. "I don't want you to go back to your apartment," he said quietly, desperately.

"I won't." <>He closed his eyes tight, letting a tear escape his eye, grabbing the sheet tightly.

"Brady!?"

"Get the nurse!" he strained to say.

"Oh, God!"

Chloe ran down the hall, calling for anyone to come into the room.

A doctor followed her into the room and rushed to Brady's aid. "What is it, son?"

"Something's wrong...it feels...my stomach..." Brady tried to form sentences but just couldn't. He grabbed his belly and hunched over. A thin sheen of sweat formed over his skin. Something was definitely wrong.

The doctor lifted the sheet from Brady and pried his hands away, taking the bandage off. "Who worked on this young man?" the doctor asked the nurse who had come into the room.

"Dr. Johnson."

"Get him here, stat. Prep this boy for surgery."

"But sir..."

"Do it!" the doctor said furiously. "You don't need to see this, miss. Nurse, get her out of her."

Chloe was ushered out of the room, caught totally unaware. "He was fine a minute ago," she told the nurse.

"He was fine," she repeated silently to herself. God, what was happening?

Chloe wandered away down the hallway, opening the now familiar doors to the hospital church. Instead of sitting in one of the wooden pews, she made her way to the very front of the church, kneeling in front of the cross as if she was at God's mercy. "Here I am again. I bet you didn't think you'd get to see me back so soon," Chloe said, wiping her eyes.

"Neither did I," she told herself. "Why have you left me when I need you the most?" she cried silently.

"God never leaves, my child."

Chloe looked up and met the eyes of a dressed nun in a full habit. She rubbed her eyes, which were red and bloodshot. "What did you say?"

"God is always with you."

"Maybe God has been there for you, but not me."

"God never forsakes his children, especially when they are in need," the nun told her, her blue eyes smiling kindly.

"I've been in need my whole life. Where was God then?"

"Yes, but you're still here."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Chloe scoffed. "I'm here all right. I'm here praying that the one person in my life doesn't die and leave me alone," she told the woman, returning her attention back to the cross.

"God watches over you. He would never present you with a problem that he didn't think you could handle. He knows you, Chloe, as well as I. And no matter what, you'll get through this."

Chloe turned around quickly. "Wait, how did you……" she started, but the woman was gone. It was as if she had vanished. "...know that was my name?" she finished silently to herself, looking back at the cross. Chloe shook her head. She didn't know what had just happened but felt a calm come over her. Walking over to the candles, she lit one for Brady and walked out, turning back to scan the room.

He was going to be okay, the nurse assured her, but she couldn't see him, at least not today. Surgery had gone well, and the bleeding in his stomach had stopped. Too much excitement, too fast, they had said. Chloe had nowhere to go. She was not allowed to stay at the hospital, seeing how she wasn't family, and even after her protests, they wouldn't budge. They were firm in their decision, and so she left.

Going to the only place that she would feel safe, she stepped off the elevator and turned the key into Brady's door, walking inside and finding the tears moistening her cheeks once more. Chloe couldn't sleep and barely ate as she waited patiently for the morning to break through the clouds. She went through Brady's belongings, looking for Belle's number. That was the hardest part, saying it out loud to another person and hoping they didn't hate her. Belle took the news as well as could be expected, and Chloe promised to phone her when she found out more. She phoned Jared next, who offered to stay with her, but she preferred to be alone. She hated the feeling of powerlessness she was left with.

Sitting at the edge of the bed, she could barely bring herself to look at the room. A day ago, it was a place where they had shared one of the most intimate experiences of their lives, and now it lay dormant, unused. Chloe could feel the bile rise in her stomach, and she ran to the toilet, wrenching out what little food she had in her and acid that burned her throat. She stared at herself in the mirror. She was pale and dirty. She stripped her clothes slowly, leaving them in a pile on the cold bathroom tiles. She stepped into the shower, leaving the water too hot, but she didn't care. It made her feel alive as it scorched her skin. She felt so dead, and she was sick of it. All her life, she had struggled to maintain normal existence, and it just couldn't happen for her.

Images of Brady flooded her mind. His smile. Those blue eyes that were so intense, making him look like he was thinking intently all the time. His blonde hair that curled behind his ears. She could see all of it, and for an instant, she forgot the bruised image that was plaguing her. The image of him lying on a stretcher lifeless, of his wounds, and the look of terror in his eyes as she left his hospital room.

Her knees felt weak. Her body shivered even against the hot spray of the shower. She slowly sank down on the floor, letting the water hit her back. Curled against the wet tile, she watched the water flow down the drain, and she cried. She cried so hard her ribs began to ache, her eyes became puffy, and her head heavy. The pressure against her skull built. The blood pounded against her head, and yet she cried some more.

Finally, shutting off the water that had turned ice cold, she left the bathroom, shivering. She took his clothes form the drawers. Putting on a pair of boxers and a cotton t-shirt, she crumpled against the bed. She barely had enough strength to pull the covers around herself, but somehow she managed. Taking his pillow in her arms, she buried her face into it, trying to get to Brady's scent. It was there and she sniffed greedily. Closing her eyes, she gripped the pillow against her chest. "Come back to me, Brady," she whispered.

It was morning, but Chloe wouldn't know it the way the drapes were drawn shut, closing off all light. She tossed in her sleep, nightmares consuming her for most of the night. The pillow that was Brady's was still clamped in her arms tightly.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jared entered the apartment, coffee and doughnuts in hand. "Chloe!?" he called, receiving no response. He walked to the back where the bedroom was and spotted Chloe curled up in Brady's bed. "Chloe?" he said gently, setting down the food he had brought and nudging her slightly.

Chloe opened her eyes, startled at first, sitting up clutching her pillow.

"It's just me," Jared soothed.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to check on you."

"I'm fine," Chloe told him bitterly, not meeting his eyes.

"I know, but I thought I could give you a lift to the hospital before I go to work," Jared told her as he arranged the coffee and doughnuts in front of them.

"I'd appreciate that," she said softly.

"I've already been this morning. The nurse said he's doing much better."

"You saw him? You went without me? How could you do that?" Chloe said angrily, looking as if she was going to hit him.

"Chloe, calm down. I went there because they won't give that kind of information over the phone. He was still asleep, but I talked to the nurse. She said he's doing better. Surgery went well, and he's recovering. He even asked about you."

"Oh. I'm sorry." Chloe pulled the blankets tight against her, ignoring the platter of food.

"You have to eat," he told her, taking his third doughnut and sipping the rest of his coffee.

"I'm not hungry," she said sourly, pushing away the food.

"This isn't doing anyone any good. Do you think Brady wants to see you waste away while he's in the hospital? He's going to be okay."

"How can you sit there and pretend nothing''s wrong? We all know this is my fault."

"Chloe, no one blames you."

"I blame me," Chloe told him sternly. "Maybe I should go away and never come back."

"Do you love him?" Jared asked seriously.

"Of course I do. What kind of question is that?" Chloe fumed.

"If you love him, stop acting like a selfish brat, and forget about blaming yourself. Forget about whose fault it was, and concentrate on the here and now. He needs you just as much as you need him, and you're not doing any good sitting here moping and feeling sorry for yourself. You get me?"

Chloe nodded. Never in all the time she had known Jared had he ever been so forceful and authoritative with her. She knew he was right. She knew she was just scared.

"Now grab something to wear, and I'll bring you to the hospital."

"I don't have any clothes here. The ones I was wearing are stained in blood, and I can't put those back on."

"I wouldn't ask you to. We'll stop by your place on the way over," Jared offered.

Chloe laughed slightly. "I guess I'll just put on some of Brady's clothes until I have a chance to change."

"I'll leave you to it," Jared told her, walking out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Chloe got out a pair of pants and a sweater and put them over the boxers and t-shirt.

In the car, the ride was mostly silent. The radio played softly, so they didn't feel obligated to talk to one another. Jared knew Chloe probably had a lot going on in her head and didn't need him to try to make simple small talk.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chloe unlocked the door to her apartment, and her jaw dropped. Jared followed her into the house, bracing Chloe when she started to fall backwards. The place was a complete mess. Bookshelves and CD holders were overturned, and the contents lay scattered on the floor. Her small TV was smashed, as well as anything else with any value. The walls were spray painted with words like bitch, slut and whore.

Jared turned to Chloe, putting his hand on her shoulder. Chloe brushed him off slightly. "I'm going to get my clothes," she said slowly, walking away from him. The mess almost didn't surprise her. She knew what Derek was like. She knew he would never stop until one of them was dead.

Chloe walked into the bedroom, and it was just the same. Her clothes were torn to shreds. She collapsed on the floor, picking up a record that had been destroyed. Jared stood at the doorframe, watching as she crumbled onto the floor, unable to hide her tears anymore.

"I have nothing left. They ruined everything," she whispered, feeling Jared's eyes bore into her. They were just things, true enough, but it wasn't just things that Derek was ruining. It was her life. She gathered her damaged records one by one and put them back into their case.

Jared came to her side and helped her stand. She held her case in her hands and surveyed the rest of the room. "He can destroy my possessions, but he can't take away my dreams," Chloe said defiantly.

Jared smiled at her. "I could bring you to the mall, so you could pick up some clothes."

"No, let's just go to the hospital. I don't want to waste any more time."

They drove to the hospital. Chloe still held the records in her hands as she stared out the window.

When they arrived at the hospital, Brady was sitting up awake. The colour had returned to his cheeks and despite his obvious injuries, he looked better.

Brady turned his head when he heard the door open. Instantly, a smile filled his face as Chloe approached. "You're wearing my clothes," he told her softly.

"I'm sorry," Chloe responded, putting the case with her records down.

"They're too big, but you look cute in them," he laughed lightly.

"They smell like you." She smiled, easing her way onto the bed. They stared at each other, mesmerized.

Jared watched, feeling slightly out of place. "I better be getting back to work. Seems the boss has some time off. He's probably just lounging somewhere in the sun," he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

"Probably. You know how those guys are. Making excuses to leave work. It's sickening. Good thing they have reliable employees," Brady responded, looking Jared in the eye, silently thanking him.

"Take care. I'll be back tomorrow," Jared told him, shaking his hand before he left.

Chloe nestled in beside Brady, comforted by the light touches he offered her.

"What happened to your clothes?"

"Not now. I'll tell you some other time."

Brady looked at her curiously but decided to let it go. The drugs the nurse had given him were starting to take effect, and he began to nod off.

Chloe laid there beside him, running her finger through his hair as he slept. "I love you so much," she whispered. Chloe sighed deeply. There had to be a way to get Derek out of her life for good. She just wasn't sure she was ready to face it yet.