Chapter 7

His hand burst through the thick glass, causing instant explosive pain to shoot up his arm. The shards shattered to the floor and cracked. The blood began to pour out of his exposed flesh. It mixed on the floor with car and oil grease. He pulled his hand out of the hole he had created in his door. The thick red liquid began to cover his flannel shirt and pants.

Jared came rushing over as Brady stood motionless, watching himself bleed out onto the floor. He couldn't move. He barely noticed the pain or Jared standing in front of him. The large gash emanating from his knuckle continued to throb. Jared wrapped a towel around Brady's hand. It quickly absorbed the flow of blood and began to drip onto the floor again.

"Brady!" Jared yelled, trying to snap him out of whatever trance he seemed to be in.

It had been too much for him. He needed to hit something, and he did. He wanted the pain in his heart to go away, to be replaced by anything but the feeling of betrayal that he should have been used to. When he saw his best friend and the woman he loved in bed together, it was his breaking point, causing him to question everything, even his existence. In all the years he had known her, he never thought she would hurt him so deeply, so irreparably. But she had. And now he had hurt himself to try to block out the heartache she had created.

"Brady!" Jared called again.

Brady faced Jared with blank eyes, his expression unreadable to his best friend. The only thing he could make out was that undeniable sadness in his eyes, that look of hurt beyond anything he had ever seen before. It was true Brady had come to him before with news of Lisa's infidelity, but this seemed much more serious. Brady stood before him a broken man. "Come on, man. Let's get you to the hospital," Jared soothed, trying to persuade Brady to come with him.

"I'm fine," came Brady's nasty response.

Jared inhaled deeply. He knew Brady was going to fight him on this one. "Come on, Brade. You need stitches."

"Like fuck I do. Just leave me alone. I just want to be alone." His voice broke.

Jared's own head swam from seeing his best friend since boyhood in such immense pain. Brady walked pasted the shards of glass into his office. He slumped down on the couch and put his head against the wall. "Come on, Brady. You're not thinking straight. She's messed you up again. You don't need her anyway. All she ever does if fuck around on you anyway!"

Brady raced toward Jared, pinning him against the wall with his good arm. He pressed his forearm against his neck, taking away some of Jared's air supply. His eyes were puffy and red with tears, but there was no mistaking the fury that lurked behind them. He was pissed and out of control. "You take that back. Fuck! Take it back!" he begged, his voice cracking slightly.

"All right, man. I'm sorry. I take it back."

Brady loosened his grasp on him, and Jared immediately rubbed his neck, trying to get normal breathing back. Brady looked into Jared''s eyes, disbelieving his own actions. He was even ashamed of himself, as he backed away from Jared.

Seeing this, Jared put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, man."

"It's not okay! And it'll never be okay again. All I want to know is why. Is it me? What the fuck is wrong with me?"

"It's not you, man."

"Then what is it? Why the fuck can't she see how much I love her?" Brady yelled, struggling against the tears forming in his eyes.

Jared shook his head, trying to comprehend. "I don't know."

"All I ever wanted was someone to love me. Why can't she love me? Huh?" The sobs began to overtake him, but he still fought for composure. He still fought for some dignity. She had taken so much away from him; all he wanted to keep was some dignity.

"I don't know, but someday you'll find someone who'll love you, Brady."

"I won't, Jar. I never will. I'm too fucked up." Brady wiped fiercely as the salty tears descended onto his tortured face.

"Let it out, man. Let her go," Jared said, as he pulled Brady closer in somewhat of a hug.

Brady did let it out. He let the pain seep into his system, enveloping him. Now he was uncertain how to get out. He let it consume his existence, his life.

"Let's get that hand stitched up."

Brady nodded to his best friend. The only true friend he seemed to have. "Thanks," he whispered as he got up and followed Jared to his car.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brady woke up early that morning. He lay in bed for quite some time, milling over the events of last night. His anger was no longer full-throttle like it had been. Time to cool off had definitely done him some good. He sat up and stretched his long legs. Grabbing the last clean pair of boxers from his dresser, he put them on his naked body.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chloe's head throbbed. It was the most intense hangover she had ever had in her life. She glared at herself in the mirror. Dark circles and pale skin reflected her inner turmoil. Her hair was a mess, and she could care less. She opened Brady's medicine cabinet. Among the boxes of condoms was a bottle of aspirin, which she happily indulged in. She couldn't believe what an ass she had been last night. She made a mental memo to herself never to get drunk when she was around Brady ever again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brady came into the living room, still only in a pair of boxers. Chloe was no longer sleeping on the couch and was nowhere in sight. Brady scooped up the pups in his hands, petting their fury little heads and scratching their ears. He had to admit that they were cute little rascals.

Chloe came out of the bathroom just wearing her short belly shirt and a pair of hi-cut panties, revealing a tiny dove tattoo on the small of her back. She had gotten it as soon as she turned eighteen. It symbolized her new-found freedom. All her life she had been confined by other people's rules, and now she was on her own. She was free to spread her wings and find her place in the world. She was alone and making a place for herself.

Without Tony, life had seemed unlivable for a while. But she had made it past that disaster and was starting her life over. She would always remember him, and to prove how much she had cared, she had tattooed his initials intertwined within the wings, for he was the one that truly set her free. He taught her what it meant to love, and she never wanted to forget.

Brady stared, in awe of her slender legs and small waist. Then he noticed the small bird peeking out from her undergarments. He struggled to make out the lettering. Chloe eyed Brady up and down. She took in his magnificent form. She had seen him naked before, and the fact that he was covered up was terribly frustrating to her. They had both faced some demons last night and were paying the price now.

Brady's vow to quit smoking hadn't lasted even one week. How could it with Chloe Lane on his mind? He was back to his old routine. Brady grabbed his pack of smokes from the table. Now was most definitely not the time to quit. He squinted as he took a long drag. He looked up at Chloe, amused. She was rubbing her temples, trying desperately to get rid of the headache, thankful that it was slowly dissipating.

Brady went to the kitchen to get some breakfast. He went through the cupboards and found a box of Cheerios. He poured a bowl for himself and went to the fridge to get some milk. When he opened the door, he realized that there was no milk. In fact, the only thing he had was some apple juice, a beer, bottles of tequila and limes. While the apple juice would have been the logical choice to pour over his cereal, he opted for the beer. It foamed over the tiny O's and tasted like shit. But hell, beer was beer, and breakfast was breakfast. He took his disgusting creation and plopped himself down on the couch, turning on the television.

Chloe glanced in his direction almost shyly. She grabbed the blanket from the floor. She had kicked it off sometime during the night along with her jeans. "I'm sorry about last night," she said, barely in a whisper.

"What's that?" Brady questioned, his eyes never leaving the T.V. screen.

"I said I was sorry about last night. I had no right to bring any of that up. It's really none of my business."

"Don't worry about it," he said, nonchalantly taking in another mouthful of Cheerios.

"Brady, you're not hearing me. I'm trying to apologize here."

"And I said don't worry about it." He pulled his attention away from the T.V., finally meeting her gaze. "Look, we can't change anything now, so just forget about it. It was a long time ago."

"Fine. I just want us to be friends, Brady."

Brady gave her a confused glance and chose not to dwell on her comment. "Now what should we do with these mutts?"

"Brady, I...I think I know someone we can give the puppies to."

"Great. Who?"

"Just some people I know."

"Well, do you want to go now?"

"Not just yet. I want to have some time with them first."

Brady shot Chloe a sympathetic look but quickly reverted to his harsh demeanor when she looked in his direction. "They're just dogs, Chloe."

"I know, but they're special."

"Whatever," Brady scoffed; but secretly, he felt bad that she had to give them up.

"I always wanted a dog growing up," Chloe said, holding up one of the furry creatures.

"Didn't your parents like animals?"

"I don't have parents."

"What do you mean? Everyone has parents."

"Not when you're an orphan."

"Geez, tough break. So you grew up..."

"In foster care," she snapped.

"Oh."

"Look, Brady, I really don't want to talk about this, especially with you. So let's just drop it, okay?"

"You're the one that brought it up," he quipped back.

"I know. Just can...can we talk about something else?"

"Sure." Brady looked at her and couldn't help but feel his heart ache for the loss in her life. "Chloe?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry. I really am." Brady gave her a sincere smile that she reciprocated.

"Thanks."

"Look, why don't you go, get changed and then we'll take these guys wherever you want. Okay?"

"Okay."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chloe took her tan backpack into the bathroom to shower and change. She stripped off her clothes and stood under the light spray, letting the water envelop her tired body. As much as she tried to have a peaceful rest, even with the solace the alcohol had brought her, she still tossed and turned all night long. The image of Tony lying in a shallow pool of his own blood had been almost too much for her. She hated to remember but she never wanted to forget.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brady went to his room. It held its own painful memories for him. Jared had asked him once why he never moved. The only answer he could think of was that it didn't matter where he lived. All he had to do was close his eyes to remember that day. Of course, that wasn't what he told Jared. He simply told him that the rent was good and he was too lazy to move.

There was a silent code between guys. Don't show emotion. And even though it had never been that way between him and Jared, he didn't want him to know how much he was still hurting. After all, he had been the first person he told about Lisa and Tyler and all the other guys he had found in their bed. He had been the one that drove him to the hospital when he smashed his fist up. He was the one that had called him a cab numerous times when he felt he was too drunk to drive. Jared had always been there for him. He was a true friend. Not that Brady wasn't an equal partner in the friendship. It was just lately Brady needed more help than anyone could give him. And last night he had almost betrayed him.

Brady was almost sick over it. Part of the reason he had been so furious with Chloe was that she had brought up his name just before something happened that they couldn't take back. He was so mad at himself, that he was so weak. He could at least try to be Chloe's friend, but that was all they could be for now.

He picked up a pair of faded jeans and pulled them on. He looked in his closet for a clean shirt. Most of his wardrobe was scattered on the floor of his bedroom. He needed to do laundry, he concluded. He picked up a large load of clothing and walked through the hall to the laundry room. Throwing everything into the washer at once, he added two cups of detergent and slammed down the lid. He'd have to wait until the cycle was finished to get a clean shirt.

He lay back down on his bed with nothing else to do, shutting his eyes momentarily until he heard Chloe scream. Chloe let out a shrill cry as the water turned freezing cold around her. Brady had forgotten she was in the shower. He sat up on his bed and was met face to face with a dripping wet Chloe, adorned only in a towel. Brady couldn't help but laugh at the incredulous look on her face.

"Did you do that on purpose to get back at me for last night?" Chloe yelled at an entertained Brady.

"Nope. It was purely coincidence."

"You think this is funny?"

"Uh, yeah, pretty much," he teased.

"Well, I don't! Do you have any idea how cold that water was?"

"No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me."

"Uh, I give up."

Brady continued to laugh as she made her way back to the bathroom, hiking her towel up as it began to slip.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brady took his wash out of the dryer and put on a navy blue button-down. Chloe was still in the bathroom, blow-drying her hair. Brady took that opportunity to say his goodbyes to the tiny pups that had become a part of his life for the past two days. "Well, guys, this is the end of the line. But don't worry; you're going to a nice home, where the people are not nearly as screwed up and will take good care of you." He set them down on the news-papered box when he heard Chloe come into the room.

"Did you just give the dogs a pep-talk?"

"No. I was just telling them how glad I would be when they were gone."

"Sure."

Brady turned to face her and couldn't believe what he was seeing. She wore a skin-tight, black leather mini-skirt and short black shirt. Chloe smiled to herself, liking his reaction.

"Uh, Chloe?"

"Yeah? See something you like?" She winked, catching him looking at her.

"Chloe, you do nothing for me."

"Sure, Black."

"Believe what you want," he said nonchalantly. "How do you expect to ride on a motorcycle in that outfit?"

Chloe stared at him, at a loss for words. She hadn't considered that when she planned out her outfit. "I dunno. I'll manage."

Brady smiled at her and went into his room to retrieve a grey pair of sweat pants. "Here, you can borrow these for the ride."

Chloe smiled sheepishly at him and pulled the pants over her skirt. "Thanks."

Brady cleared his throat. "You ready to go?"

"Yep, let me just grab my coat."

They headed out of Brady's apartment to the parking garage.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chloe knew exactly what she had to do. She could never give them back their father, but Tony Scalenta's children deserved to have some small joy in their lives. Chloe was going to try to make that happen. Ever since that fateful night, she felt an obligation to her fallen lover''s family. No one knew her sordid past, but she couldn't forget. And she couldn't forget what her ex-lover had left behind.

She had watched them over the past few years. They had grown a couple inches taller. But the sadness was always in their eyes. She knew their pain. Her own childhood was filled with it. She had never had parents. And now they faced life without a father. Tony's widow would never remarry; she didn't believe in it. The truth was Tony had been a good husband and a devoted father. Even though Chloe was a part of his life too, he never strayed from his responsibility for his family. He loved them, and they in turn felt the same. It was partly her fault; after all the pain she had caused their family, she felt they deserved a little happiness.

They pulled up to the large brick home. Brady cut the engine and turned to look at the house. Chloe slid off the seat of the motorcycle. They had used all the side streets. They couldn't go fast due to the small pups tied to the back of the bike in a cardboard box. People could walk faster than the bloody bike, Brady had whined. But Chloe didn't want to take any chances. Every time Brady went above ten miles per hour, she would make him slow down.

Chloe nervously took the box in her trembling hands. She couldn't face them. She still felt the guilt flooding her pores. And the fear welled up inside her. This was still his house and his family. She was too close; she wasn't ready for this yet. But she couldn't turn back now. She had come too far. Brady leaned against the side of his bike and waited on the curb. Chloe walked up the long driveway and rang the bell, hoping that she was doing the right thing.

The maid opened the door and immediately knew who Chloe was. "Miss Lane, what are you doing here? Do you want to come in?"

"No thanks, Miranda. I really have to get going. I just brought a present for the kids," she said, showing Miranda the box.

"Oh my, aren't they just the cutest things?"

Chloe nodded, feeling slightly uncomfortable that Brady was watching their awkward exchange. "Their names are Salem and Lily...So how are they?"

"They're good. Jeffrey's in karate, and Maggie's still taking ballet."

"And how's...Mrs. Scalenta?" Chloe asked, somewhat uncomfortably.

"Oh...you know. She has her good days and her bad ones. It's still hard for her, you know."

"I know."

"So what about you? How are you, dear?"

"I'm……I'm fine," Chloe said, a little unsure.

"Well, I see you've got yourself a nice young man over there." She waved at Brady. He smiled and waved back pleasantly. "So how long have you two been together?"

"Oh, we're not together. That's just Brady. We're just friends. Well, actually we're not really friends. I guess I don't know what we are."

"Oh, well sometimes things like that are complicated."

"You're telling me," Chloe mumbled.

"Are you sure you don't want to come in for some tea? The kids haven't left for school yet, and I'm sure they'd like to thank you in person."

"Oh thanks, Miranda, but I don't think it's my place any more."

"All right, sweetie. It was good to see you," she said, pulling her into a hug.

"You, too. I really should be going now. Bye, Miranda." Chloe turned to walk away when Miranda called her back. She stood on the first step on the porch, listening.

"Bye, Chloe. And Chloe, I want you to know that they don't blame you."

Chloe was left speechless. She practically ran back to Brady as tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. "Let's go!" Chloe demanded.

"Is everything okay?"

"Like you care."

"Who were those people anyway?"

"Just some people I used to baby-sit for." Chloe told a half truth. It was true that she began working there with Miranda as a baby-sitter and maid, but she became much more when she fell for Tony Scalenta.