CANCER FAN'S TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR HIS FREQUENT ABSENCES

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by CANCER FAN
10) Downloading pictures of Gillian Anderson is REALLY time consuming.
9) I was temporarily banned from the computer lab for doing random surveillance sweeps.
8) I've been lobbying Chris Carter for a crossover with HIGHLANDER.
7) I was at Toshi Station picking up power converters.
6) Working on research to prove my theory that Gillian Anderson is a clone of Virginia Madsen.
5) I spent the last month as a contestant in a Frohike-throwing contest.
4) I was composing an opera version of the episode "Zero Sum", featuring a solo by Skinner called "Look At My Crotch".
3) Did I already mention Toshi Station and the power converters? Err, right...sorry.
2) For a month I was a script consultant on the X-FILES MOVIE, along with every other idiot who has been rumored to be involved on the project.
And number one...
Because I was just busy, DARN IT!

In the end...

THERE CAN BE
ONLY ONE.



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