Clinton/Gone 96

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(Created: 14 Oct. 96 - - Last modified: 14 Oct. 96)


Beware Llama Dung!

Breakpoints, EDN News, (issue unknown), p. 35 by Richard A Quinell

Llama alert!

We engineers are so good at solving problems that we sometimes forget to ask if the problem has been posed correctly; we just solve it. Yet questioning the rationale behind product specifications scan avoid a lot of pointless effort.

Consider the US Army's llamas. In the early 1940s, so the story goes, the Army wanted a dependable supply of llama dung, as required by specifications for treating the leather used in airplane seats. Submarine attacks made shipping from South America unreliable, so the Army attempted to establish a herd of llamas in New Jersey.

Only after the attempt failed did anyone question the specification. Subsequent research revealed that the US Army had copied a British Army specification dating back to Great Britain's era of colonial expansion. The original specification applied to saddle leather.

Great Britain's pressing need for cavalry to patrol its many colonies meant bringing together raw recruits, untrained horses, and new saddles. The leather smell made the horses skittish and unmanageable. Treating the saddle leather with llama dung imparted an odor that calmed the horses. The treatment, therefore, became part of the leather's specification, which remained unchanged for a century.

So, on your next project, make sure you know the reasoning behind the specs. If you hear "We've always done it that way," watch out for llama dung.


How Mil Specs Live Forever

The US Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?

Because that's the way they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates.

Why did the English people build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Okay! Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagons would break on some of the old, long distance roads, because that's the spacing of the old wheel ruts.

So who built these old rutted roads? The first long distance roads in Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions. The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts? The initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagons, were first made by Roman war chariots. Since the chariots were made for or by Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

Thus, we have the answer to the original questions. The United State standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from the original Military specification for an Imperial Roman army war chariot. MIL specs and Bureaucracies live forever.

So, the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right. Because the Imperial Roman chariots were made to be just wide enough to accommodate the back-ends of two war horses.

The Exit Sign


© 1996 Richard Wheeler

Mail comments to: rwheeler@srs.lmco.com

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