The US Department of Health
has created an index called the body mass index or The BMI. The purpose
of the index is to determine if a person is overweight. You take your height
then follow the index line to your weight and you will find your BMI index
rating. A BMI rating over 24 is considered overweight. Checking the index
with my height and weight puts me at about 23 1/2, close to overweight
but still acceptable. Incidentally most people consider me a little on
the skinny side.
Keeping with the spirit of the
index craze, I have developed my own index, the BM Index.
The purpose of my index is to determine how full of shit
a person is, hence the name BM Index. The index is based on a secret mathematical
formula known only to me. The index number indicates the percentage of
time a person is full of shit.
The ratings for The BM Index are:
Below are the ratings of my Top Ten BM'ers: In
reverse order of course.
|| Someone so full of shit, it's running
out their ears
76 to 100
|| Too full of shit to see straight
| 51 to 75
|| Full of shit most of the time
| 26 to 50
|| Often full of shit, but believable over half
| 6 to 25
|| Over 75 % of the time is telling the truth
0 to 5
|| This is acceptable, most honest people
Person - Title
|| Bill Clinton - President of The United States
|| Ross Perot - Businessman
|| Monica Lewinsky - Former White House Intern
|| Pete Wilson - Former Governor of California
|| Kenneth Star - Prosecutor
|| Bill Archer - Chairman, House Ways and Means
|| Orrin Hatch - US Senator
|| Newt Gingrich - Former Speaker of the House
|| Bill Gates - Co-Founder & CEO of Microsoft
|| Rush Limbaugh - King of the BM'ers
Why each person got
the rating they did:
Here is the fun part
I will rate myself a 1 on
the BM Index. There are times when I've been known to "sling a little",
but I try extremely hard to give my readers accurate information with as
little bias as possible.
| Bill Clinton
|| Liar, liar pants on fire.
| Ross Perot
|| Does not know what he is talking about.
| Monica Lewinsky
|| Naughty Girl and a big fibber.
| Pete Wilson
|| Big tax giveaways to the wealthy.
| Kenneth Star
|| Never disclosed why he spent $40 mil. dogging
| Bill Archer
|| Big tax giveaways to the wealthy, wants to end
| Orrin Hatch
|| Fought against raising the minimum wage.
| Newt Gingrich
|| Full of it on just about every subject.
| Bill Gates
|| Interested in making more money and nothing
| Rush Limbaugh
|| Distorts almost everything, when he doesn't
distort it he
only tells half the story.
Readers this is your chance
to add someone to the BM Index, or disagree with my rating. For each reader
who submits a BM rating for someone on the BM index, I will recalculate
that persons rating with a new rating based on the readers average ratings.
New people added to the list will also be given a rating based on the average
rating of all entries with their name. Just E-Mail me the name of the person,
their BM rating and a brief reason for the rating.
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