More of My Favorite Quotes


"The unforgivable crime is soft hitting. Do not hit at all if it can be avoided; but never hit softly."
Theodore Roosevelt


"Massive ego and narcissism may be the primary ingredients for achieving and maintaining Hollywood success, but they are also the No. 1 cause of the grandiose foibles in their storied, disastrous personal lives. The full-time job of parenting requires absolute selflessness. In contrast, the full-time job of celebrity requires absolute selfishness. The two by definition do not naturally co-exist. Yet, because of their fame, money, and social power, stars somehow think they can defy the odds and maintain a high level of professional success, and still raise healthy families in the process. No wonder so much rotten fruit is hanging from the dysfunctional celebrity family tree."
Andrew Breitbart and Mark Ebner


"Government bureaucrats never miss a chance to emphasize their importance."
Rep. Ron Paul


"There is no such thing as a character witness for Bill Clinton, unless you count the corpulent cretin Larry Flynt."
Joseph Sobran


"Most Americans know little about the Constitution, and much of what they know ain't so."
Joseph Sobran


Quote From an Idiot: "Christmas celebrates the birth of a homeless child."
Hillary Rodham-Clinton


Quote From an Idiot: "Speaking from my own religious tradition in this Christmas season, 2,000 years ago a homeless woman gave birth to a homeless child in a manger because the inn was full...."
Al Gore


Mr. Speaker, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words. The Declaration of Independence is 1,322 words. Government regulations on the sale of cabbage is 27,000 words. Mr. Speaker, now if that is not enough to stuff your cabbage roll, regulations cost taxpayers $400 billion a year, $4,000 per every family each and every year, year in and year out. Unbelievable. It is so bad, if a dog urinates in a parking lot, the EPA declares it a wetland. Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. I yield back 2,800,000 words in our Tax Code.
Rep. James Traficant (D - Ohio)


"They that give up liberty for security shall enjoy neither liberty nor security."
Benjamin Franklin


"Americans who value freedom had better be more concerned about the gun control crowd than the criminals. The criminals want your money. The Neo-Totalitarians want your Freedom."
Charlie Reese


"I want to fall on the floor laughing—imagining Hillary Clinton working well in the Senate with everybody else! Oh, give me a break. I've already joked in print that they would need to build her a private cloakroom on the Mall. This is not a woman who has any ability to deal with the mass of humanity. She is the most arrogant, the most moralistic, the most sermonizing and annoying person on earth...."
Feminist icon Camille Paglia


In case you missed the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty debate, it did have its lighter moments. For example, on three (3) occasions, Mr. Edward "Fly Me" Kennedy referred to the "Stockpile Stewardship Program" as the "Stockpile Stewardess Program." We are not making this stuff up! Not to be outdone by Teddy, Majority "Leader" Chester Lott added, "Sometimes you just have to fulfill your constitutional duty." -- Sometimes?


"George Bush says that too often his party paints a picture of an America 'slouching toward Gomorrah.' ... The trouble with slouching toward Gomorrah is that when we arrive Bill Clinton will be there to welcome us."
Lyn Nofziger


"I can't wait until Bill Clinton leaves office and takes his whole feculent sideshow of cronies, spinmeisters, hucksters, myrmidons, torpedoes, and footpads with him. Meanwhile, just be careful not to step in any of his legacy."
Lionel Waxman


"The big pushes during Clinton's two terms in office were to: raise taxes, cover up the Travelgate scandal, increase government spending, diversify the sexes from two to five, transfer America's manufacturing base to needy foreign countries, legitimize sexual deviancy, sissify the military, cover up Whitewater, foster class warfare, cover up the massacres of American citizens at Waco and Ruby Ridge, keep as many members of the cabinet out of jail as possible, shred 12 tons of incriminating documents, defend racial discrimination against people of non-color, defend welfare as we know it, strip marriage of its meaning by extending its benefits to odd couples, defend and promote infanticide, register welfare recipients to vote, expand benefits for illegal aliens, blame school violence on inanimate objects, recruit illegal aliens to the Democrat Party, raise money to defend the president against a pants-dropping charge, put the Creator of the Universe under house arrest, confiscate private property, control the amount of water used in a toilet flush, deny parents the right to choose schools for their children, mainstream hustler Larry Flynt, subvert the Constitution with loophole-lawyering, return California and Texas to Mexico, foster anti-American multiculturalism, start Cold War II, promote the idea that oral sex is not sex, mangle the English language with legal babble, prove you can lie under oath and get away with it, establish the moral precedent that adultery is OK if the wife doesn't care, protect endangered weeds and kangaroo rats from farmers, keep Hillary out of jail, develop an affirmative-action program for a venereal disease, promote cigars as sex toys, rent out the Lincoln Bedroom, put degeneracy on a pedestal, socialize medicine, sell nuclear secrets to China, criminalize 'incorrect' thought, use the United Nations to teach Third World countries the joys of wholesale abortions, cover up the cover-ups, meddle in the internal affairs of other nations, wage illegal wars, and teach underage children how to have sex without consequences."
Linda Bowles


"Gun control? It's the best thing you can do for crooks and gangsters. I want you to have nothing. If I'm a bad guy, I'm always gonna have a gun. Safety locks? You will pull the trigger with a lock on, and I'll pull the trigger. We'll see who wins."
Mafia informant Sammy "the Bull" Gravano, on gun control


"I was thinking of when Peter betrayed Jesus three times and Jesus knew it but loved him anyway."
Hillary Rodham-Clinton, explaining why she still loves Bill. In case you missed it, she is "Jesus" in the analogy.


"There she comes, the old battle-ax. There she is with Chelsea in tow."
Orlando's Channel 9 anchorman, Steve Rondinaro, unaware his microphone was open when Ms. Rodham-Clinton arrived at Kennedy Space Center last week.


"I have the highest respect for the first lady."
Orlando's Channel 9 anchorman, Steve Rondinaro, moments later


"You know, we did have a very good stretch ... Years and years of nothing."
Hillary Rodham Clinton, speaking about her marriage to Bill


"Ingredients: Mostly baloney."
The Hillary sandwich" featured at a restaurant in Skaneateles, N.Y., where Ms. Rodham-Clinton is "vacationing" this week


"You can get more with a kind word and a gun than with a kind word alone."
Johnny Carson


"No one denies that weighty problems confront a large segment of the black population. But those problems have little to do with discrimination. There is no evidence that colleges are turning away black students with 1200 on the SAT, but there's a plenty of evidence that blacks are not achieving high SAT scores. There's no evidence that businesses don't locate in black neighborhoods because white owners and investors don't like dollars coming out of black hands. There's a plenty of evidence that black criminals make economic activity in black communities unattractive. There's no evidence that discrimination accounts for today's unprecedented, devastating illegitimacy, family breakdown and dependency rates. There's a plenty of evidence that irresponsible personal choices do. The major problems that stand in the way of broader advancement will be solved only when blacks finally recognize that our destinies lie in our hands and only we can solve what are essentially black problems -- not Washington, politicians and the intellectual elite."
Walter E. Williams


"Let's make a new law that whenever you sell nuclear arms to China, they have to have trigger locks on them."
Rep. Jack Kingston


"Since the GOP is going to cave on gun control, the least they could do is ask for a few things in return. Like a one nuclear warhead per month limit for all Clinton/Gore contributors."
Public relations consultant Adam Dubitsky


"I must say that term limits give us a broader variety of and frequent change in the numbers and types of idiots we elect."
Lyn Nofziger


"Now let's see if I understand this correctly. President Clinton has ordered our forces to engage an entrenched, politically motivated enemy, backed by the Russians, on their home ground, in a foreign civil war, in difficult terrain, with limited military objectives, with bombing restrictions, boundary and operational restrictions, queasy allies, far across an ocean, with uncertain goals, without prior consultation with Congress, having the potential for escalation, while limiting the forces at his disposal, and while the majority of Americans are opposed to, or are at best uncertain about, the value of the action being worth American lives. ----- So, what was it that Clinton was opposed to during Vietnam?"
Lt.Gen. Tom Griffin USA (ret.)


Quote from an Idiot: "People who think like us may be in the minority, but we're the smart ones. ... [The Ten Commandments] are a little out of date. If you're only going to have 10 rules, I don't know if [prohibiting] adultery should be one of them."
Ted Turner


"I hear my Democratic friends want to add two faces to Mount Rushmore - Bill Clinton."
Rep. Matt Salmon (R-Arizona)


"Maybe when Bill Clinton said, 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky', he was really telling Monica that he hadn't slept with is wife."
Meghan Skinner


"The only time this country ever gets into trouble is when there is some so-and-so in the White House lying to the American people."
Harry Truman


"Truthful means truthful. ... This is not a Clinton deposition!"
U.S. District Judge Robert E. Jones this week, when a witness in his court asked, "What do you mean by truthful?"


"A government that is big enough to give you everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
Ronald Reagan, quoted by Rep. Steve Largent (R-Oklahoma) in his response to Clinton's State-of-the-Disunion Address


"If he had the moral sense to resign, he would not be in the position to need to."
George Will


"All in all, the framers would probably agree that it's better to impeach too often than too seldom. If presidents can't be virtuous, they should at least be nervous."
Joseph Sobran


"I'm not a supporter. I just came here for comedy."
A spectator in Buffalo, to a CNN interviewer, after listening to Clinton try to explain why the budget "surplus" should not be given back to the people.


"The tendency of liberals is to create bodies of men and women-of all classes-detached from tradition, alienated from religion, and susceptible to mass suggestion-mob rule. And a mob will be no less a mob if it is well fed, well clothed, well housed, and well disciplined."
T.S. Eliot


"The principle feature of American liberalism is sanctimoniousness. By loudly denouncing all bad things-war and hunger and date rape-liberals testify to their own terrific goodness. More important, they promote themselves to membership in a self-selecting elite of those who care deeply about such things. . . . It's a kind of natural aristocracy, and the wonderful thing about this aristocracy is that you don't have to be brave, smart, strong or even lucky to join it, you just have to be liberal."
P. J. O'Rourke


"Liberals support freedom of speech, the press and assembly because it's vital to their agenda of persuasion and organization to restrict other liberties."
Walter Williams


"The Democratic recipe for steady expansion of government and dependency (and opportunities for successful campaigns based on fear of withdrawn benefits) is to identify a value (education, health, art, the environment, kids, whatever), devise a spending program identified with that value and dare Republicans to cast a vote against the value."
George Will


"If men will not be governed by the Ten Commandments, they shall be governed by the ten thousand commandments."
G.K. Chesterton


"The other thing we have to do is to take seriously the role in this problem of ... older men who prey on underage women. ... There are consequences to decisions and...one way or another, people always wind up being held accountable."
Clinton in a June 13, 1996 speech about teen pregnancy-or White House interns.


"My father held the presidency in such honor and reverence that he was never in the Oval Office without a coat and tie. Bill Clinton has such disrespect for the presidency that he was often in the Oval Office without his pants."
Michael Reagan


"I had to squeeze through spaces that were narrower than President Clinton's definition of sex."
David Letterman on New York traffic


"You can best reward a liar by believing nothing of what he says."
Aristippus


"If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand."
Milton Friedman


"My father taught that the only helping hand you're ever going to be able to rely on is the one at the end of your sleeve."
J.C. Watts


"They've become so open-minded that their brains have fallen out."
Linda Bowles on Congressional Democrats defending Mr. Clinton


"I no longer believe that President Clinton has the moral authority to order me or my men into harm's way. I will resign,"
a Marine artillery lieutenant


"He's the same joker that got my unit shot up in Somalia and wrote it off by calling my dead pals 'Unfortunate Casualties',"
an Army Ranger unit leader


"William Jefferson Clinton is unfit to be president of the United States… He is a cheap and nasty guttersnipe with no principles… If he says he has one hand on his Bible, you wonder what he's doing with the other one…. The lying fornicator must go."
From The Sun newspaper of London


"An armed society is a polite society."
Robert A. Heinlien


"The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is its inefficiency."
Eugene McCarthy


"The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf."
Will Rogers


"Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for the appointment by the corrupt few."
George Bernard Shaw


"Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy."
Franz Kafka


"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."
Leo Tolstoy


"When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it."
Clarence Darrow


"There is not a man in the country that can't make a living for himself and family. But he can't make a living for them and his government, too, the way his government is living. What the government has got to do is live as cheap as the people."
Will Rogers


"Doing a thing well is often a waste of time."
Robert Byrne


"If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music...and of aviation."
Tom Stoppard


"All power corrupts, but we need the electricity."
Unknown


"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."
Groucho Marx


"Clinton is doing the job of three men, Larry, Moe, and Curly."
Bumper Sticker


"When I was in office I said that I was a Ford, not a Lincoln. The current resident of the White House is a convertible Dodge."
President Gerald Ford


"The danger of attempting to expand the dominion of the law to take over the function of etiquette--to deal with such violations as students calling each other nasty names, or protesters doing provocative things with flags--is that it may compromise our constitutional rights. For all its strictness, a generally understood community standard of etiquette is more flexible than the law and, because it depends on voluntary compliance, less threatening.
Judith Martin, Miss Manners


"Today the primary threat to the liberties of the American people comes not from communism, foreign tyrants or dictators. It comes from the tendancy on our own shores to centralize power, to trust bureaucracies rather than people."
George Allen, Governor of Virginia


"Before I was married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories."
John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester


"What! Bob Dole is leaving the Senate? But he just got here!"
Strom Thurmond


"She should adopt one from Arkansas. That way there would be a 50/50 chance it would be Bill's."
A British woman, on hearing Hillary was considering adopting another child


"I think somebody really ought to do the White House a favor. Explain to the White House, the staff members there, there is a difference between 'drug testing' and 'testing drugs.'"
David Letterman


"In the future they should consider getting rid of the athletes and adding another production number with 7,000 school children joined to each other by Velcro to form a plastic recycling bag--to symbolize the Olympic Family's concern with environmental issues." Tony Kornheiser, Washington Post columnist


"President Clinton actually once competed in the Olympics. It was a long time ago. He won a gold medal in back-peddling, issue-straddling, and free-style waffling." David Letterman


"On the bright spot for Bob Dole, unlike most people who leave the Senate early, he's not going to jail."
David Letterman


I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather... Not screaming in terror, like his passengers.
Anonymous


The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Anonymous


"People say, 'Why is Congress so out of touch?' We're not. We are responding faithfully to the schizophrenic signals you're sending us, which is 'cut our taxes and increase our entitlements and do it in a noble manner so that we can have pride and respect in you.'... [Congress] is a good job for someone with no family, no life of their own, no desire to do anything but get up, go to work, and live and die by their own press releases... It is a great job for deviant human beings."
Rep. Fred Grandy, an outgoing Iowa Republican, on just exactly what he thinks of his job.


Paper work is the embalming fluid of bureaucracy, maintaining an appearance of life where none exists.
Robert J. Meltzer


"If you give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. But if you give him a fishbone diagram, he'll be trapped in meetings until he starves to death."
Scott Adams, Dilbert's fundamental tenet of management


"What a different world our president is from than the world I am from. When I was growing up, and we rode by the nicest house in town, never once did my mama point her finger out and say, 'We ought to tax those people, and give us their money.' My mother always pointed her finger and said, 'If you work hard and you make good grades, you can have a house like that!' I like my mama's America a lot better than I like Bill Clinton's America."
Sen. Phil Gramm


The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and doesn't stop until you get to work.
Steven Wright


"O.J.'s hunt for the real killers continues. This weekend it will lead him to three days and four nights at the Rancho Mirage Country Club in Palm Springs."
David Letterman


"The president did say he guaranteed that the troops going to Bosnia would be out in a year. And I'm thinking, what a coincidence. If this doesn't work, so will he."
David Letterman


"Last night, President Clinton was interviewed about the Bosnia situation on ‘60 Minutes.' There was one embarrassing moment. Mike Wallace asked, "What is your exit strategy?" And Clinton said, ‘Usually the back stairs and out through the hotel's service entrance.'"
David Letterman


"People are not in general stupid, but they are often ignorant. In their ignorance, they often tolerate ignorant news reporters who in turn tolerate ignorant politicians. The result is an ignorant politician making an ignorant speech to be covered by an ignorant reporter and shown in a 40-second clip on television to an ignorant audience."
Newt Gingrich


"They say President Clinton's strategy against the Republican candidates is just to lay low until all the fighting is over. You know, just kind of like he did in the 1960s..."
David Letterman


"Say what you want about the president, but we know his friends have convictions."
House Majority Leader, Richard K. Armey (R - Texas) on the Arkansas Whitewater convictions


"[Dennis] Rodman explained the designs in his hair as an AIDS ribbon, a peace sign, a black power symbol, a Pearl Jam logo, and a gay and lesbian symbol. That's not a hairstyle, it's a Clinton Cabinet meeting."
Argus Hamilton


Why is Hillary letting her fingernails grow longer? These days she's afraid to file anything.
Russ Myers