(updated 7/4/99)

Spivey's World:

"Choking the Web with more meaningless drivel since 1998."

        Happy Independence Day to all!  As we celebrate the 223rd anniversary of thumbing our noses at our British brethren, it is time for a little reality check.  Perhaps we at SW are getting a little too uppity for our own good, but it would seem that too often we take our nation for granted.  Now, don't go and start singing Lee Greenwood's "Proud to be an American" just yet.  In fact you may start thinking I need some indoctrination of my own after reading something on down the page.  So be it, but it is important to note, nay, remember that 223 years isn't exactly a winning streak or a longevity high-water mark.  Recall your days in "World History" class: in Egypt 223 years was an "intermediate period" between Pharaohs.  Not only that, but there are sobering views about democracy in general, but I will not lecture you on that... unless you really want to.  [If that is the case, 1) you really need help and 2) take my A.P. Government class.]  Here is something I recently read that is pretty cool/ sobering/ pessimistic/ timely/ accurate/ etc.  (make note of the date)

"A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government.  It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury.  From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising them the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that a democracy always collapses over a loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship.  The average age of the world's great civilizations before they decline had been 200 years.  These nations have progressed in this sequence: from bondage to spiritual faith; from spiritual faith to great courage; from great courage to liberty; from liberty to abundance; from abundance to selfishness; from selfishness to complacency; from complacency to apathy; from apathy to dependency; from dependency back again to bondage."
                                                  - Alexander Tytler, Cycle of Democracy, 1770

Happy 4th of July!!!

        This month, SW is proud to propagate the widespread use of contraband fireworks in our state.  "Sammy McCracker", the happy little firecracker above, is in need of a helping hand... so he can blow it off of your arm!  Uncle Sam brand fireworks are endorsed by the American Prosthetic Limb Association and reconstructive surgeons everywhere.  Remember, fireworks are completely safe and pose no realistic threat to you or your pre-adolescent children.  They are safe for even the smallest of children to use unattended.
        Besides, owning fireworks is a mere federal court ruling away from being considered a Second Amendment right.  They have become a legacy to hand down (or nudge down) to each succeeding generation.  As noted on The Simpsons (the show of America's favorite dysfunctional family), "What better way to celebrate the independence of your country than by blowing up a small piece of it!"  So drive, don't walk, to the Alabama, South Carolina, or Florida border for your very own chance to become horribly maimed!

Congratulations, President Bush!!

        In an election neither known by or intended for most American citizens, George W. Bush easily triumphed over a few other candidates to become the new President of the United States of America.  In an election dominated by the media, president-elect Bush easily outdistanced himself by defeating Vice-President Al Gore by nearly $20 million.  In a campaign marred by threats of fair play and the possibility of discussing actual, legitimate issues, it was Bush's appeal to the "middle income Americans" that was the difference.  This sentiment was echoed in an exclusive Spivey's World interview, when Mr. Bush said, "Too often the regular everyday Americans get left out of the process.  I mean, sure you can get access to politicians if you are a multimillionaire.  But what if you are just a millionaire?  I hope I will be their mouthpiece for the disenfranchised across the country; whether you drive a Lexus or a Bentley, fly in a Lear Jet or a Beachcraft, or have just one summer home in the Florida Keys, I pledge my loyalty to you."
        Al Gore, currently vacationing in China, was unavailable for comments.  However, Zhou Li-Min, his campaign director, downplayed the impact of money on the campaign.  "Money not an issue.  Bush a superior foe, crush us like Tiananmen tank.  I hope new regime not purge all opposition."
        Because of the sudden, media-annointed victory, all primaries and general elections for 2000 have been canceled and will be replaced by episodes from "Seinfeld".

Spivey's World: Links. Go to these pages as instructed.  You are without free will or independent thought.  Send me money while you're at it.

Spivey's World: Movies.  "The List" (of my favorite movies) is complete... for now.

Spivey's World: Music.  Some new additions to the play rotation in SW.

Spivey's World: Sports.  This site is on hiatus for now.  'Gotta problem with that, mate?

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