SPIDER'S TOP 10 CHANGES TO THE MOVIE "BRAVEHEART" THAT WOULD MAKE IT A MOVIE LIBERALS COULD ENJOY 10) Highlight the roles that Black, Jewish, Asian, and Native American Scots played in Scotland's battle for independence.
SPIDER'S TOP 10 CHANGES TO THE MOVIE "BRAVEHEART"
THAT WOULD MAKE IT A MOVIE LIBERALS COULD ENJOY
10) Highlight the roles that Black, Jewish, Asian, and Native American Scots
played in Scotland's battle for independence.
9) Have an incorrigible waif follow William Wallace around, looking at him all teary-eyed whenever he does something politically incorrect.
8) Instead of exposing their genitals to the English prior to combat, have the Scots chant 60's style folk songs.
7) Have Robert Preston play an elderly gay gentleman who becomes a father figure to William Wallace, dispensing sage advice and sassy retorts.
6) Have the Scots ruling council come out with a "mend it, don't end it" policy regarding English rule.
5) Have William Wallace constantly call the King "mean spirited", and refer to England as the "Kingdom Coalition".
4) Have the first great battle on the field between the English and the Scots fought over universal health care.
3) Instead of saying "William Wallace is seven feet tall and craps thunder", have Mel Gibson say "William Wallace is a Male White Anglo Caucasian with greater than average stature and is gastricly other-abled".
2) Have the part of William Wallace played by Denzel Washington.
1) Make the movie have a happy ending, where William Wallace is exonerated of charges of treason and sedition by claiming "I have no recollection of those events".
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